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Applying government shutdown logic to the baseball playoffs

Oct 8, 2013, 12:30 PM EDT

Braves fan Paul Kaplan was quite upset that the Braves lost in the NLDS last night. So upset that he wrote his congressman about it.

I have to say, I never would have considered this, but if this logic applies in baseball, I may very well be willing to reassess how I feel about it when it comes to government.



(thanks to reader David L. for the heads up)

UPDATE: The Congressman responds!

  1. aceshigh11 - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:33 PM

    Great, Craig…NOW you’ve done it…

    *political shitstorm commencing in 5…4…3…*

    • The Common Man - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:35 PM

      can’t wait

      • historiophiliac - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:50 PM

        /sits down with popcorn

  2. sknut - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:35 PM

    That is all sorts of awesome!

  3. woodenulykteneau - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:36 PM

    Can we get the names & addresses of the commenters who don’t understand this is a parody? We need to make sure they’re not armed or have access to power equipment.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:46 PM

      As soon as I posted it multiple people on Twitter said “Is this some kind of joke?!!” It wasn’t a question.

    • bravojawja - Oct 8, 2013 at 3:27 PM

      We should make sure that any dim bulb who doesn’t realize this is a parody continues to believe it’s for real. I’m not being cruel; I’m just giving them what they want.

    • mckludge - Oct 8, 2013 at 5:17 PM

      Given the political makeup of those who would agree that it is “a courageous stand against Obamacare,” you can assume they have guns and power tools.

  4. NatsLady - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:37 PM

    GREAT letter! I laughed and laughed! (I just wish so many people were not suffering from the gov’t shutdown, especially small businesses that WON’T get back pay once it’s over).

  5. jarathen - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:45 PM

    I like how firmly that tongue is planted in that cheek.

    I’m sure the Congressman either won’t get it or will disregard it.

    • jakeshuman2 - Oct 8, 2013 at 4:04 PM

      He’ll probably think it’s a call to action.

  6. mybrunoblog - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    83% of the federal government is still up and running so I don’t think we can call this s “shut down”. That said I like the way all things in our society can be applied to baseball.

    • tfbuckfutter - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:25 PM

      That’s right.

      Even before the shutdown the Repubs were trying to doubletalk it by referring to it as a “slimdown”.

      You’re a good little foot soldier.

    • wowzers27 - Oct 8, 2013 at 2:39 PM

      I work for the Dept of Housing and Urban Dev. and we are entirely shutdown. The number you cited includes the military. So as for non-military government – it is effectively shutdown (without pay). I know, I know – facts don’t matter too much anyway..

    • kevinbnyc - Oct 8, 2013 at 3:37 PM

      Don’t let the fact that people are effectively unemployed now deter you from being a dickbag

    • docwat - Oct 9, 2013 at 1:48 PM

      83%? Really? This is better than it was before the shutdown; I am pleased!

  7. crispybasil - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:50 PM

    “You didn’t win that.” – Obama to the Dodgers

    • aceshigh11 - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:59 PM

      Magic Johnson made that happen!

    • cubanxsenators - Oct 8, 2013 at 5:34 PM

      Taking about ’59, right?

    • donaldkehoty - Oct 9, 2013 at 9:28 PM

      Inaccurate analogy, crispybasil. When President Obama said to business owners, “You didn’t build that,” he was referring to the public infrastructure that makes commerce possible. Almost everyone understood that, but some still chose to try to make political hay off it anyway, by broadcasting one small soundbite out of context, which was a form of lying.

  8. davidpom50 - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:50 PM

    Maybe… just maybe… we can avoid the political shitstorm here if everyone agrees that, regardless of your political or baseball affiliations… this is hilarious.

    • indaburg - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:21 PM

      I agree. That letter was brilliant.

    • IdahoMariner - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:33 PM

      an excellent, hopeful thought. one i hope prevails.

      because that letter is frickin’ hilarious.

  9. butchhuskey - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:57 PM

    Hilarious – a great piece of political satire.

  10. lightcleric - Oct 8, 2013 at 12:58 PM

    Well, the Dodgers did arbitrarily delay the mandate for big business until after the 2014 playoffs so they wouldn’t lose because of the impending train wreck. Braves request the same treatment for individual players.

    Dodgers owners, however, made sure their favorite golf course at Andrews AFB remained open. They also made sure their gym and pool stayed open during the shutdown. Brian McCann is considering making arrests after reports of a floater.

    We report, you regret reading this while eating lunch.

    Also, Chipper Jones is being label a “faux bravo” and a “Brave In Name Only” after picking against the Braves.

    • historiophiliac - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:06 PM

      Wait, Chipper’s a BINO??? That made my day!

      (Well, that and the hockey puck who told me GFY. Tuesday, y’all!)

      • historiophiliac - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:18 PM

        And, yeah, I’m pronouncing it “Bee-no.”

      • indaburg - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:23 PM

        I prefer the rhymes-with-“wino” pronunciation.

      • historiophiliac - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:47 PM

        Bee-no sounds farty though. We’re talking Larry Jones here.

      • yahmule - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:27 PM

        That pronunciation is insensitive to people who lack skin pigmentation.

  11. pgilbert2013 - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:03 PM

    An Atalanta Journal Constitution Poll just came out that 78% of Atlanta Citizens have a negative view of the LA Dodgers.

    The oddity is that the Liberal San Francisco Chronicle Newspaper also shows almost the same negative view of their liberal colleagues from Southern California.

    • aceshigh11 - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:31 PM

      Just because a team is located in a liberal locale, doesn’t mean that the team is “liberal”.

      Ballplayers come from all over the U.S. and the world, and most jocks are politically conservative. That’s just a fact.

      I think someone polled the 2005 or 2006 Red Sox, and ONLY Gabe Kapler voted for Kerry in 2004…so being in liberal Boston doesn’t mean anything when ballplayers come from all over the country and world.

      • spudchukar - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:55 PM

        Got issues Aces. First you cite some year?, then equate baseball players with all jocks?, and then conclude that if one team in some year voted conservative, then that proves most jocks vote that way. Really? My anecdotal research suggests otherwise.

      • aceshigh11 - Oct 8, 2013 at 2:30 PM

        I wasn’t making a blanket statement. I was refuting the assertion that just because a team is located in a liberal city, that doesn’t mean the TEAM itself is “liberal”.

        With “team”, in this case, meaning its ownership and its players.

        But if you want to go beyond that narrow debate: do you REALLY think pro sports are bastions of liberalism?

        The only sport where there are a significant number of liberal athletes is the NBA.

        Football and baseball players are generally conservative. I’ve read plenty of articles over the years breaking down political contributions of pro athletes…the majority go to conservative candidates.

        And the average pro sports team owner is only slightly less conservative than Attila the Hun.

        I’m not passing any judgment…I’m just saying that that’s the way it is. Athletes make a LOT of money and they want to keep as much of it as possible. It’s only natural.

      • aceshigh11 - Oct 8, 2013 at 2:32 PM

        And when I used the term “jock”, I wasn’t using it as a pejorative. I simply meant “jock” = “athlete.”

        Maybe jock has a negative connotation (meathead, frat boy, etc.)…so I’ll retract the use of “jock” and simply say “pro athlete”.

      • spudchukar - Oct 8, 2013 at 4:41 PM

        Didn’t believe you used “jock” pejoratively, and I got the thrust of your comment on “liberal” cities. I still quibble with your notion that athletes are mostly conservative. Baseball players perhaps, because they come from warm weather states, which are generally Red. And perhaps golfers, too for similar reasons, and they come from money, which is a greater indicator of conservative beliefs, than the acquisition of money.

        But there are a hole host of other sports where liberals dominate, particularly ones which include athletes from other countries. The world is liberal, and America is slow to evolve.

    • APBA Guy - Oct 8, 2013 at 4:36 PM

      I think Gilbert needs to check his facts. There is no way he could find 22% of people in NorCal who don’t have a negative view of the Dodgers. That’s just preposterous. EVERYBODY up here has a negative view of the Dodgers. It’s the law. Disobey that law and you have to move to Sacramento, where it’s hot and dry.

      • cadavra - Oct 9, 2013 at 12:12 PM

        Hey, I hate the Dodgers and I LIVE in L.A.! You know the old saying: once the home team, always the home team. (Mine’s the Reds.) And because L.A. is full of non-natives, it stands to reason we have no love for Dem Bums.

      • prpocha - Oct 9, 2013 at 2:49 PM

        Hate to burst your bubble cadavra, but LA is not full of transplants. The city loves the Dodgers and hates the Giants just like the Giants hate us. APBA Guy’s comment is spot on. Oh and the Celtics suck!

  12. tfbuckfutter - Oct 8, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    I support this motion, and would like to attach a rider:

    The Yankees payroll must be limited to $10,000,000 for the next five years, and also they have to change their logo to a giant butthole.

    • jakeshuman2 - Oct 8, 2013 at 4:09 PM

      I don’t think they would be willing to put a likeness of Alex Rodriguez on their uniforms.

  13. spudchukar - Oct 8, 2013 at 2:01 PM

    Well played Paul, and Craig.

  14. scoutsaysweitersisabust - Oct 8, 2013 at 2:05 PM

    “Change your mascot” – Obama to the Indians.

    • ranoversquarells - Oct 8, 2013 at 2:42 PM

      Come up with new jokes – Obama to scoutsaysweitersisabust

  15. xdj511 - Oct 8, 2013 at 2:20 PM

    In another week or so they’ll drag the Yankees into this in their attempts to raise the luxury tax threshhold… I mean the debt ceiling… oh to heck with it all.

  16. clemente2 - Oct 8, 2013 at 3:49 PM

    Wow, so far the comments are wonderfully appreciative, sometimes funny, and not exhibiting partisan narrow-mindedness. Congrats HBTers!

  17. sportsdrenched - Oct 8, 2013 at 3:56 PM


  18. johwri89 - Oct 8, 2013 at 4:02 PM

    I like it, great letter

  19. jakeshuman2 - Oct 8, 2013 at 4:10 PM

    Hey, funny is funny, no matter your political persuasion.

  20. moogro - Oct 8, 2013 at 6:29 PM

    Someone I know with no knowledge of baseball opined that watching all this baseball with replay and pitch f/x side-by-side with human umpires making mistakes is creating unresolved internal conflict within the minds of the baseball community, and spilling over into society at large. And, get this: this unresolved sense of justice is a big motivator in the desire to want to do something, anything desperate like supporting shutting the government down.

    I don’t know how I missed that.

  21. twintwo62 - Oct 8, 2013 at 9:35 PM

    Oh brother, what a stupid, snarky letter. Too many people think snark = intelligence (I blame Jon Stewart fully for this affliction).

    Obama/Reid/Pelosi crammed Obamacare down everyone’s throat and now are crying foul because people who were elected to stop it are trying to stop it?! Go team, I hope they stop it.

    San Jose Mercury is reporting people getting letters with as much as a 10K annual increase. Excerpt:

    “Cindy Vinson and Tom Waschura are big believers in the Affordable Care Act. They vote independent and are proud to say they helped elect and re-elect President Barack Obama.

    Vinson, of San Jose, will pay $1,800 more a year for an individual policy, while Waschura, of Portola Valley, will cough up almost $10,000 more for insurance for his family of four.

    “I was laughing at Boehner — until the mail came today” Waschura said, And while both said they anticipated their rates would go up, they didn’t realize they would rise so much.

    “Of course, I want people to have health care,” Vinson said. “I just didn’t realize I would be the one who was going to pay for it personally.”

    And pricing is just one of the problems; hacking your personal information is a huge issue. Founder of McAfee said the ACA exchange websites are hackers wet dream. Let’s not forget “The Navigators” who are there to help you sign up yet are not required by the law to even be licensed.

    This is no time for stupid snark.

    • smokefan14 - Oct 9, 2013 at 12:09 PM

      Right. Forced down our throats. Never mind that in the meantime there was a presidential election in which the Republican candidate promised to repeal the ACA, and he lost. And never mind that the Supreme Court of the United States held most of the ACA constitutional. Or did you forget those minor details?

      This is no time for stupid political games like what your beloved tea partiers are playing. The country is on the verge of economic meltdown, and your tea partiers are throwing a temper tantrum over something that’s been the law since March 2010. Either you missed the point of the letter, or (more likely) you got the point and just don’t want to admit it.

  22. Mama - Oct 8, 2013 at 10:28 PM

    Reblogged this on La La How The Life Goes On and commented:

  23. retief1954 - Oct 8, 2013 at 11:13 PM

    :) well-done Paul. That’s a masterpiece.

  24. cadavra - Oct 9, 2013 at 12:09 PM

    Just posted this to my Facebook page and had three shares in the first two minutes. I wish I were smart enough to have written something like this. Bravo, sir.

  25. kanawah - Oct 9, 2013 at 4:57 PM

    Did anyone send Tear Drop Bohner a copy of this.
    He would probably not get the joke.

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