Oct 9, 2013, 4:00 PM EDT
Yesterday we ran the letter Paul Kaplan wrote to his congressman, Jack Kingston, in which he satirically suggested that the same logic behind the government shutdown be applied to the Braves-Dodgers game. The letter has gone viral, as the kids say, and it has now inspired a response from Congressman Kingston.
Dear Mr. Kaplan,
Thank you very much for your letter regarding the potential demise of baseball. Some have suggested it was a rhetorical squeeze play or a hit and run since the letter was posted online before it was actually mailed to me. Of course, it could be languishing in the post office. Sometimes, it’s hard to know when the mail service is open or closed.
I agree with you that Republicans and the Braves have much in common. You could say that the Republicans “Bravely” take on tough issues such as defunding Obamacare and trying to curtail runaway spending. And we don’t mind clearing the dugout for a good brawl. We also agree that Dodgers is a fitting name for the Democrats as they often “Dodge” serious issues such as balancing the budget or cutting spending.
Where we disagree is the game itself. If Uribe had decent bunting skills, he would have simply tied the score. Thus, the game would have continued. In such a situation, neither the Dodgers nor the Braves would have walked off the field crying “I will not ‘negotiate’ or, in this case, bat.” No, they would have stayed engaged and slugged it out. But, alas, Uribe can’t bunt — so game over.
On the bright side, winning the pennant doesn’t guarantee world peace. In fact, there are other glimmers of hope in the universe. Did you see the UGA-Tennessee game? Obviously, there is a God in Heaven. Or as we say in Athens: How ‘bout them Dawgs?
Member of Congress
So, as far as I can tell, the Republican Kingston is suggesting that the opposition — be it the Dodgers or Democrats — execute a bunt. A play which makes no tactical sense, would be self-defeating and would serve no one’s interests other than the Braves/Republicans.
Man, this analogy approximates reality even better than we first thought.
- The Marlins are going to change everything except their biggest problem this offseason 43
- Drooling over Miguel Sano’s incredible numbers through 50 career games 33
- Matt Williams puts up another strong performance in his quest to get himself fired 103
- Settling the Scores: Tuesday’s results 81
- Yankees reveal Mark Teixeira’s shin injury is “more than we thought” 16
- There’s a chicken pox outbreak in the Royals’ clubhouse and multiple players are infected 28
- Shoeless Joe Jackson is not being reinstated 67
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights 66
- Sarah Palin sticks up for Curt Schilling, tells ESPN to “stick to sports” (266)
- Matt Williams puts up another strong performance in his quest to get himself fired (103)
- Why Mike Mussina keeps getting hosed in the Hall of Fame voting (89)
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights (87)
- Settling the Scores: Tuesday’s results (81)