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Ugueth Urbina pitched yesterday

Oct 17, 2013, 7:20 AM EDT

ugueth urbina

Former Expos, Red Sox [and a bunch of other teams’] reliever Ugueth Urbina has been indisposed for several years. Which is what happens when you attack several men with a machete and then try to douse them with gasoline.  He was sentenced to 14 years in a Venezulean prison, serving a bit under six, before being released in December of last year.

Last night he returned to the mound for the Caracas Lions, pitching a scoreless sixth inning, striking out one and walking one. Here’s the box score. Here’s the game story. The gamer is in Spanish, which is awesome in Google translate if, for no other reason, than “seasons” gets translates to “harvests.” Also: I learned that “slugfest” is “el festival de batazos” in Spanish, and that’s just an utterly fantastic phrase.

The story says Urbina had not pitched in Venezuela since the winter of 2000-01, which roughly corresponds with the point in his career where you’d expect a major leaguer of his stature to no longer play winter ball. Either way, this appears to be Urbina’s first actual baseball game since he finished the 2005 season with the Phillies.

He’ll turn 40 in February. No idea what his plans are, but it’d take the most improbable comeback in baseball history if he wanted to pitch in the bigs again.

  1. Old Gator - Oct 17, 2013 at 8:20 AM

    Ironic that he went down for trying to set people on fire when he’d spent his entire professional career trying to put them out, no? That’s what you get for trying to play the Grim Arepa, Uegeth….

    Okay, okay, sorry about that one, Yoogie. I guess I got such a guffaw out of Craig’s sudden realization that Spanish neoloidioms are wonderful it made me feel competitive.

    • birdman6824 - Oct 17, 2013 at 2:10 PM

      The Arepa I had with you wasn’t Grim, the feesh bats that night sure were

  2. heyblueyoustink - Oct 17, 2013 at 8:21 AM

    The gamer is in spanish eh?

    In that case, it’s *EL* up up, down down, left right, left right, A B, A B, principio, Pendejo.

  3. brownsguy44138 - Oct 17, 2013 at 8:26 AM

    El festival de batazos? It looks like I just found my new fantasy baseball team name.

    • Old Gator - Oct 17, 2013 at 8:47 AM

      Didn’t we ford the Batazos on our last cattle drive?

      • Old Gator - Oct 17, 2013 at 8:49 AM

        Get it? Ford the Batazos? Cattle drive? Old movies….


      • Francisco (FC) - Oct 17, 2013 at 9:07 AM

        I’m sure Stex will get it.

      • Old Gator - Oct 17, 2013 at 3:26 PM

        Any fan of John Ford and John Wayne movies will get it.

        Incidentally, a friend just gave me some VHS tapes of very very old, pre-John Ford, John Wayne movies – 1934, 1935 old – with titles like “Randy Rides Alone” and “Lawless Range.” Dear Buddha, you can stop wasting your time being grateful that Ed Wood Jr. never made a western. I dare say that if John Ford hadn’t discovered him and surrounded him with thespians who could actually teach him to act, the Duke would have ended his days selling vapor cigarettes in a mall shop in Pasadena.

  4. psousa1 - Oct 17, 2013 at 9:08 AM

    Was reputed to be, by media accounts, the nastiest human being to ever step foot in an MLB clubhouse.

    • jimi - Oct 17, 2013 at 10:29 AM

      I’d have to give that nod to “El Duque”. Saw him in Trenton during his failed comeback attempt a few years ago, and he was one of the most bitter, angry players that I’ve ever had interaction with.
      But he DIDN’T try to set anyone on fire (at least as far as I could tell), so maybe I’m being a little harsh on the guy.

  5. thehawg - Oct 17, 2013 at 9:19 AM

    He was also with 2003 World Champions Florida Marlins. They wouldn’t be champs without him. Traded Adrian Gonzalez for him.

    • Old Gator - Oct 17, 2013 at 3:29 PM

      Yes, and he used to eat at a ramshackle Latin restaurant called Enrequita’s in what is now called the Wynnwood district. I saw him there a couple of times and he was fairly pleasant, signed autographs, enjoyed the attention.

      Of course, Enrequita’s burned down a few months ago. Just a coincidence, I’m sure.

  6. thevauntedchris - Oct 17, 2013 at 9:32 AM

    well if Kenny powers can make it back…

  7. Tim's Neighbor - Oct 17, 2013 at 9:52 AM

    I’ve never seen a hitter more overmatched in person than Randell Simon facing Urbina in game 7 of the 2003 NLCS.

  8. Tim OShenko - Oct 17, 2013 at 10:19 AM

    I bet the Rays would give him a shot.

  9. dondada10 - Oct 17, 2013 at 11:59 AM

    FYI: Ugueth’s son is a pretty valuable minor leaguer in the Mets system.

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