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The playoff commercials were, as always, baffling

Oct 21, 2013, 7:50 AM EDT

old TV

Emma Span of Sports on Earth puts voice to what all of us where thinking when all of those playoff commercials kept cycling over ad over again. The fact that she can describe one like this . . .:

it’s about bestiality and the end of a relationship with a sociopath.

. . . and you know which one it is immediately tells us (a) that there is something very, very wrong on Madison Avenue these days; and (b) even if wrong, they are at least doing a good job of making this stuff stick in our minds, so: well done, Madison Avenue.

And I had no idea that John Cusack was the voice for that Chevy truck commercial. Kinda blew my mind there.

  1. Liam - Oct 21, 2013 at 8:59 AM

    Very glad she linked to this article on “HIS FATHER IS THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY”.

    It’s ten years later and I sometimes forget what day of the week it is, but I can still give you every word of that commercial. There’s a strong chance those will be my dying words.

  2. indaburg - Oct 21, 2013 at 9:17 AM

    The commercials have been especially grating this year. As our new Canadian import put it after watching seemingless endless cycles during the play-offs, he understands what’s wrong with us Americans: we’re hopelessly constipated, and we can’t get it up. No wonder we’re contentious.

  3. rje49 - Oct 21, 2013 at 9:23 AM

    The only thing I’ve watched on TV for several years has been Baseball, Hockey, and Football. So I also get to see the same commercials repeatedly. Yes, I remember these commercials, and some are entertaining and some are annoying. But ya know what? I couldn’t tell you what the heck they’re advertising. So what’s the purpose?

  4. sabatimus - Oct 21, 2013 at 9:41 AM

    Those Anchorman 2 cross-promotions were bloody annoying.

  5. rickdobrydney - Oct 21, 2013 at 9:43 AM

    Who watches commercials ?? I ignore them, really —-

  6. spudchukar - Oct 21, 2013 at 10:59 AM

    The T-Mobile one is the most troubling for me. The tone and vitriol in the mom’s voice is too close to home for me. It is beyond irritating, it brings back memories I would just as soon forget.

  7. sportsdrenched - Oct 21, 2013 at 12:03 PM

    Commercials? That’s when you look at Twitter.

  8. misterj167 - Oct 21, 2013 at 12:06 PM

    The amount of commercials for manly man pickup trucks disgusts me, dumb rednecks tossing hay and shit into the back of some pug-ugly penismobile and driving off to some godawful pigsty as if it were something to be proud of. I know dumb rednecks are FOX’s prime audience but they act like no one who lives in a city actually exists, or watches football even. It’s a little less prevalent for baseball games, but the bias pisses me off.

    Wow, that’s a lot of anger for one post.

    • sportsdrenched - Oct 21, 2013 at 3:29 PM

      You last saw your Ex in another dudes truck, didn’t you?

    • ltzep75 - Oct 21, 2013 at 4:16 PM


      No. Wait. Not this.

      What I meant to say is: This is the reason people hate city-dwellers.

      FWIW, I can look out my office window at a nearby garage below and count more than a few “pug-ugly penismobiles.” I work in downtown Manhattan.

  9. km9000 - Oct 21, 2013 at 12:15 PM

    I’m baffled as to whether that Pete Holmes guy is supposed to be funny.

  10. APBA Guy - Oct 21, 2013 at 12:42 PM

    I’ve been recording games on the DVR for a couple years now, getting about 40 minutes in and then starting to watch. That way I can skip all the commercials, especially this year with the great starting pitching there were fewer pitching changes until later in the game. But boy, once those commercials started, it was horrible, like there were only 3 commercials in the whole of existence and they were being repeated over and over again.

    But didn’t the girl on the back of the ski with the pig remind everyone a little of Tiffany, Craig’s ex-HBT video co-host? That possibility made it watchable the second time, anyway.

    • 18thstreet - Oct 21, 2013 at 1:41 PM

      I hit the 30-second button a lot when Buchholz was pitching with runners on base. So glad for the DVR.

      • km9000 - Oct 21, 2013 at 5:44 PM

        If pitchers like Buchholz don’t speed up, the networks will wise up and actually show a 30-second commercial between pitches. Just the fact that they’d have the time to do it is kinda grating.

        “2-2 to Cabrera. Misses outside. We’ll be back after this message.”

      • 18thstreet - Oct 21, 2013 at 7:23 PM

        It’s awful. I don’t understand what advantage it gives a pitcher to wait forever. The announcers suggest it makes the defenders rest back on their heels (less likely in a playoff game, but I think there’s validity to it).

        And from what I understand, there’s actually a rule on the books that says a pitcher has to throw the ball within 20 seconds, which is more than enough time.

        What am I missing? The catcher says, “Throw a curveball. Over here.” The pitcher gets the signal. Fiddles with the ball until he gets the right grip. Deep breath. Go. How can that take longer for some pitchers than for others? (Not a rhetorical question.)

  11. negaduck - Oct 21, 2013 at 2:18 PM

    Anybody else still remember the promos for House during the 2004 playoffs?


  12. gloccamorra - Oct 21, 2013 at 4:07 PM

    I found the commercials very informative. Then again, I’m constipated and can’t get it up.

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