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Prepare yourselves for the Todd Coffey showcase

Dec 20, 2013, 11:33 AM EDT

Sadly, not a variety show:

 

It sounds so festive. I’m picturing this:

source: Getty Images

Mixed with this:

source:

If they do that, I’d advocate for signing Coffey to a three-year, $39 million deal.

  1. Old Gator - Dec 20, 2013 at 11:46 AM

    Popcorn? Check.

    Lowenbrau Oktoberfest dark special? Check.

    Chocolate covered acai berries? Check.

    Good book? Check – in this case, Richard Meltzer’s The Aesthetics of Rock.

    TV turned orf? Check. No way I’m going to be put to sleep in the middle of the day by that crock of as yet unmineralized coprolite.

  2. karlkolchak - Dec 20, 2013 at 11:50 AM

    The key question now is: which has more remaining velocity, his fastball or his sprint from the bullpen to the mound?

    • dcfan4life - Dec 20, 2013 at 4:32 PM

      He can sprint???

  3. schuch10 - Dec 20, 2013 at 11:57 AM

    My coolest experience at an MLB game was during a disastrous Brewers game.

    Todd Coffey sprints in from the OF bullpen and does his pop up slide at the mound. Quite the sight of a man that big sprinting into a pop up slide. He pitched a shutout 8th.

    This led up to Trevor Hoffman entering in the 9th, Hells Bells just blaring, every fan on their feet.

    Coolest experience ever.

    Until Hoffman blew the save, that is. lol

    • uwsptke - Dec 20, 2013 at 2:18 PM

      Coffey is well-known for the bullpen sprint, but isn’t Heath Bell the one who does the pop-up slide? I don’t remember Coffey trying that. But he gets bonus points for being one of the rare non-closers who comes out to his own theme music (used the Ultimate Warrior’s old WWF music).

  4. yashraba - Dec 20, 2013 at 12:17 PM

    the purebred body of a mathlete

  5. yashraba - Dec 20, 2013 at 12:17 PM

    the purebred body of a mathlete

  6. DelawarePhilliesFan - Dec 20, 2013 at 12:37 PM

    What is going through the heads of the Bradys:

    Mike – gotta pay for the time share somehow
    Marcia – You like me! You STILL like me!
    Bobby – No, this is my natural hair color, it was dyed on the show
    Carol – this is the face that can sell a Million units for Sunbeam
    Greg – Hey, Foxy Ladies!
    Peter – Laugh all you want, mo-fo’s! In 30 years, I’ll have the hottest wife ever
    Cindy – I-i-i-i-i-i-…I have become, comfortably numb
    Jan – My God, they have no idea I am not the real Jan

  7. dcarroll73 - Dec 20, 2013 at 12:37 PM

    Forget Todd. I want to sign Marsha.

  8. watchfullhose - Dec 20, 2013 at 12:41 PM

    TOM COFFEY

  9. coloradothistle - Dec 20, 2013 at 3:33 PM

    He either makes it back or has to live in a van down by the river.

    • Just a Fan - Dec 20, 2013 at 5:40 PM

      I miss Chris…..

  10. pisano - Dec 20, 2013 at 5:02 PM

    Hey Todd, Jenny’s calling!

  11. Just a Fan - Dec 20, 2013 at 5:39 PM

    Holy crap!…Chris Farley has a twin????

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