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Quiet Riot: Ryan Theriot retires

Jan 6, 2014, 7:35 AM EDT

Ryan Theriot Getty Getty Images

He didn’t play in 2013, but it wasn’t for lack of interest on his part. Now he’s done, though: Chris Cotillo of MLB Daily Dish reports that Ryan Theriot is officially retired.

Theriot ends his career with a line of .281/.341/.350 and 17 homers across eight big league seasons with four teams, mostly the Cubs. He may be best remembered among smarty-pants internet people as the inspiration for TOOTBLAN.  And while Cooperstown is not in the offing, he is a shoe-in candidate for the Hall of Guys Who We Remember Playing Some Infield at Some Point Back in the Oughts.

He should probably be inducted alongside Mike Fontenot, who will become eligible for the honor at the same time.

  1. cur68 - Jan 6, 2014 at 8:01 AM

    Well. I guess we don’t have Ryan Theriot to kick around anymore. Who inherits the TOOTBLAN Title after him, I wonder? Mike Young? Why not. I vote for Young.

    • stex52 - Jan 6, 2014 at 8:35 AM

      If they were to make it a team trophy, you could push the 2013 Astros.

      • historiophiliac - Jan 6, 2014 at 12:56 PM

        Hey, that means y’all got on base!

    • jwbiii - Jan 6, 2014 at 12:11 PM

      Ian Kinsler gets picked off quite often.

      • historiophiliac - Jan 6, 2014 at 12:35 PM


  2. yahmule - Jan 6, 2014 at 11:03 AM

    His lifetime stolen base rate was 71%, which isn’t too awful, except it declined markedly after his second season. Pretty decent career slash line for a MI.

    The only thing I didn’t understand was this TEER-rio nonsense. If that was me, I’m Ryan The Riot, baby.

    • DJ MC - Jan 6, 2014 at 12:27 PM

      Like so many other things, that can be blamed on the French.

    • jwbiii - Jan 6, 2014 at 5:38 PM

      There’s more to TOOTBLAN than just caught stealing. Theriot excelled at being picked off and being thrown out trying to stretch a hit. There was serious discussion about whether CS should be counted at all since it’s already a part of a player’s stat line.

  3. stabonerichard - Jan 6, 2014 at 12:09 PM

    Dude made over 8 million bucks in those 8 seasons in the bigs. Not too shabby.

  4. APBA Guy - Jan 6, 2014 at 12:33 PM

    He and Fontenot played for the LSU team that beat Stanford in the CWS in 2000, then together again for the Cubs in 2009, and were rostered during the 2011/2012 offseason for the Giants, with Fontenot released in Spring training.

  5. mick2014 - Jan 7, 2014 at 4:54 PM

    Retired at 32 years of age with 8.4 million in 8 big league seasons+post season shares! Who wouldn’t take that? Most everyone will be 64 & still working since retirement age has increased to 67.

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