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Masahiro Tanaka’s U.S. Tour begins

Jan 9, 2014, 7:36 AM EDT

tanaka getty Getty Images

David Waldstein of the New York Times passes along reports from the Japanese media that Masahiro Tanaka has arrived in the United States. He’s going to tour this great land of ours, meeting general managers and owners wherever he goes while his agent, Casey Close, makes them do back flips and stuff. It’ll be quite the scene, man.

Tanaka’s presence on the market is holding things up for Ubaldo Jimenez, Ervin Santana and the other free agent pitchers out there, one has to assume. Really, since mid December nothing of note has happened in hot stove land, and this is probably the reason. Perhaps that will all change some time during his tour.

  1. uyf1950 - Jan 9, 2014 at 7:44 AM

    Well in 2 weeks or less this circus should be over.

    • Old Gator - Jan 9, 2014 at 9:21 AM

      I doubt if he’ll make his mind up that quickly. I think he’ll let the kettle simmer for a while. I doubt if the Feesh will be entertaining him very much – or, if they do, they’ll probably lay out a spread of celery slices filled with cream cheese and damp wheat thins with a smidgen of chopped liver and a thin slice of olive on top. That’s how Scrooge McLoria goes “all in.”

      • amlumber - Jan 9, 2014 at 11:01 AM

        Tanaka’s posting is over on the 24th of January, so two weeks is pretty accurate.

      • Old Gator - Jan 9, 2014 at 11:42 AM

        Ah yes. My bad. Well then, I suspect he’ll drag it out as long as he can unless someone makes him an offer that knocks him on his tushy.

  2. lyon810 - Jan 9, 2014 at 8:55 AM

    QUite a scene

    A line derived from Seinfeld no less. Well done Craig

  3. holleywood9 - Jan 9, 2014 at 9:10 AM

    ‘Merica

  4. dirtyharry1971 - Jan 9, 2014 at 9:14 AM

    Notice it says US tour, in otherwords he won’t be going anywhere near Canada and that’s because they are too cheap with the dough baby!!! Can you say last place Toronto bluejays in 2014? You bet you can!!

    • Old Gator - Jan 9, 2014 at 9:18 AM

      Ah, I see you remembered to thumb yourself up. Good deal, because nobody else is interested in your retreaded posts anymore – not that they were after the first couple of times your spore proliferated here in the first place.

    • dirtyharry1971smissingbrain - Jan 9, 2014 at 9:27 AM

      faceplam

      Why do you keep embarrassing us like this, Harry? Huh? WHY???? Mom TOLD you, over and over again, not to do this stuff. This is how you got us in trouble, you know. We were lucky that judge took it easy on us. Man, did mom cry. How can you keep on like this?

      This is why I’m never coming back.

      • cur68 - Jan 9, 2014 at 9:37 AM

        Holy sh!t. This must be ‘harry’s brain (such as it is) on drugs.

        Hey ‘harry! Didn’t know you had a brain at all, brah. Pity it left you. ROFL

      • Old Gator - Jan 9, 2014 at 11:43 AM

        Heh, look – Poor Dim Harry has thrown his extra logons into the breach!

  5. dirtyharry1971 - Jan 9, 2014 at 9:56 AM

    How does the old saying go cur “imitation is the biggest form of flattery?” It goes something like that either way you know what I mean. Well when old gasser creates a name to pretend to be like mine you know he thinks about me a real LOT. That’s ok he isn’t the only one, lots of fine young ladies out there also think about me a real LOT, the only difference is old gasser is a creepy old man but im not worried.

    • cur68 - Jan 9, 2014 at 10:08 AM

      You better clarify this one, Poo Flinger. Who’s “old gasser”? Do you mean Gator? If so, then more ROFL. Like he gives a crap about the likes of you!

      Anyhow, I LOVE the idea that your poor little chimp brain is out there, on its own, mad at you. Poor lil thing!

      And who are these “ladies” that think of you? Name one. And no, naming your poo flinging hand, Mary Palm, is not “naming a lady”.

      • Old Gator - Jan 9, 2014 at 10:44 AM

        I see signs of improvement in our virtual village idiot’s writing, though. He has discovered the uppercase lock, probably as a displacement of his continuing inability to construct coherent syntax or punctuate. And just for the record, no, that troll he’s picked up, much as a hyena picks up a flea – Buddha knows why he goes to all that trouble – certainly isn’t me. Anyone who can read, which of course doesn’t include Poor Dim Harry, would be able to tell in an augenblick that whomever that is has a totally different stylistic signature.

        I’m sure he’s right about those fine young ladies, but really, he ought to wait for them to begin menstruating before he brags about them. Even Humbert Humbert would be embarrassed by his prediliction for estrogen-free poontang.

      • cur68 - Jan 9, 2014 at 12:21 PM

        Yeah, he really brought it with the realness there. Must be trying to convince us he poor sufferin’ brain really hasn’t left. I guess if you say it enough it’ll be true, right?

  6. nymets4ever - Jan 9, 2014 at 10:22 AM

    I hope he signs with anyone but the Dodgers. This has nothing to do with my Puig bashing, I just think Tanaka’s other suitors (Yankees, Angels, Mariners, Cubs, Diamondbacks) have a much more pronounced need for him. After all this hype, it would be anticlimatic as hell if he joins an already-loaded rotation where he’ll live in obscurity as the 2nd or 3rd banana. You want to see this guy at the forefront.

    • Old Gator - Jan 9, 2014 at 10:52 AM

      Oh, but it would be less anticlimactic if he joined the Cubs and flourished as a first banana on a last place team? Jah, you ban floggin that logic today, bubbeleh.

      Ackcherley, the idea of Tanaka on that Dodger rotation would be immensely appealing to their fans, and would most likely rally non-Bummers to the cause whenever the blue-and-whites invaded their home turf. Monster rotations like that carve out places in the history of the game – the Braves of fifteen years ago, the Seaver-Koosman-Matlack-Darling Mutts, the Koufax-Drysdale-Podres-Perranoski Bums. The game is showmanship. Tanaka beefing up an average rotation will only matter once every fifth day. Give me awesome over occasional interest any day. That’s why Godzilla is still going strong sixty year later.

      Where’s my acai with guarana, anyway?

      • cackalackyank - Jan 9, 2014 at 12:10 PM

        It doesn’t change the validity of your post, Gator, but Darling never pitched with Seaver on the Mutts.

      • cackalackyank - Jan 9, 2014 at 12:16 PM

        I take it back, forgot about 1983.

    • ilovegspot - Jan 9, 2014 at 1:28 PM

      Puig bashers are jealous trolls that only wish he was theri problem. Losers.

    • ilovegspot - Jan 9, 2014 at 1:28 PM

      Puig bashers are jealous trolls that only wish he was their problem. Losers.

  7. 12thmanseattle - Jan 9, 2014 at 11:25 AM

    If he is in Seattle on Saturday I’d bet a months pay he signs here after seeing the support for the hawks

    • cackalackyank - Jan 9, 2014 at 12:10 PM

      So, he’s switching to the NFL?

      • 12thmanseattle - Jan 9, 2014 at 1:04 PM

        Funny. Players want to play where they are supported. The energy in Seattle during games for the Seahawks is crazy. If I’m a player and I show up in a city and see that the fans support their local teams that way I would personally want to play there. I would say that most people would agree with that. Combine that with the fact that he has a former teammate and a strong japanese fan base in Seattle would make me think he decides to play here. If the Mariners are willing to be competitive when it comes to pay and were able to convince him that their intention is to be competitive on the field obviously

  8. dluxxx - Jan 9, 2014 at 12:23 PM

    Of course he’d do his tour in January. No way he even stops in Minny. If he does, he won’t leave because he’ll be frozen to the ground…

  9. anxovies - Jan 9, 2014 at 2:39 PM

    I can see it! Flower petals strewn in his path! The citizens gathered in an unbroken mass on the sidewalks. Scantily clad virgins dancing in his footsteps! The smiling Mayor holding the golden key aloft!

  10. jamesweltyms - Jan 9, 2014 at 2:46 PM

    Will the Angels be wasting their “Trout Years” if they don’t sign a Tanaka? A consensus building here (http://the-mike-trout-sign-o-meter.com/) is that Trout will cost 10 years and $310MM+. That’s a lot of coin and no postseason.

    • uyf1950 - Jan 9, 2014 at 5:53 PM

      Yesterday on a blog here someone posted that same link, not sure if it was you or not. But it had 11 years and $332MM then. That link is useless.

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