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Meet the Cubs’ new mascot

Jan 13, 2014, 5:07 PM EDT

Say hello to Clark, the Chicago Cubs’ new mascot. The backwards hat says young and carefree, but the eyes say long-suffering Cubs fan:

  1. themanytoolsofignorance - Jan 13, 2014 at 5:10 PM

    Dear me. Do you know, once suggested it is so by the post’s author, it appears that little bear is on the verge of tears? I cannot think of a more pathos laden icon in all of professional sports.

    For the Love Of God, will someone please had that bear a box of tissues and tell him it will be ok?

  2. pbastille - Jan 13, 2014 at 5:12 PM

    Geez, they can’t get their own mascot a fitted cap? And I thought the O’s were cheap…

  3. Ben - Jan 13, 2014 at 5:16 PM

    • km9000 - Jan 13, 2014 at 10:12 PM

      Cubs start season 0-3; new mascot “Clark” bails, claiming his home planet needed him.

    • schmedley69 - Jan 13, 2014 at 11:17 PM

      I immediately thought of Poochie as well. You beat me to it.

  4. indaburg - Jan 13, 2014 at 5:20 PM

    You can see the trepidation in his eyes. I I just want to give the poor thing a hug.

    • 78mu - Jan 14, 2014 at 12:19 AM

      He’s thinking ‘I’m young. I’m healthy. If I live a normal life odds are I’ll see the Cubs win one, maybe two World Series. If I live 90 years odds are the Cubs should win 3 times. Life is good. No team can go 90 years and not win at least once, right? Right?’

      Poor young Clark. So innocent. So naive.

  5. scoutsaysweitersisabust - Jan 13, 2014 at 5:28 PM

    He looks like someone stole his pick-a-nic basket.

  6. qcubed3 - Jan 13, 2014 at 5:43 PM

    Those are some PTSD eyes . . . poor Clark has seem some . . .

  7. sleepyirv - Jan 13, 2014 at 5:46 PM

    Would you say he’s more tubular or radical?

    • scatterbrian - Jan 13, 2014 at 8:22 PM

      It really doesn’t matter, provided “totally” precedes it.

  8. realitypolice - Jan 13, 2014 at 5:55 PM

    He looks frightened… like he’s trying to signal with his eyes for you to notice the man behind him with the gun. Can’t you see him? He said he would kill my whole family if I didn’t pose for this picture.

    He looks like a political prisoner admitting to being a spy and saying that he’s seen the light and now knows that Kim Jong Un is the Messiah.

  9. rollinnumbers - Jan 13, 2014 at 6:12 PM

    LONG LIVE BILLY CUB!!!

  10. km9000 - Jan 13, 2014 at 6:48 PM

    Looks like he could be a relative of Kit Cloudkicker.

  11. Old Gator - Jan 13, 2014 at 6:54 PM

    If you go down in the woods today you’re sure of a big surprise
    If you go down in the woods today you’d better go in disguise
    For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain
    Because today’s the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic

    Every Teddy Bear who’s been good is sure of a treat today
    There’s lots of marvellous things to eat and wonderful games to play
    Beneath the trees where nobody sees they’ll hide and seek as long as they please
    That’s the way the Teddy Bears have their picnic
    Picnic time for Teddy Bears
    The little Teddy Bears are having a lovely time today
    [From: http://www.elyrics.net ]
    Watch them, catch them unawares and see them picnic on their holiday
    See them gaily gad about
    They love to play and shout
    They never have any cares
    At six o’clock their Mummies and Daddies will take them home to bed
    ‘Cause they’re tired little Teddy Bears

    If you go down in the woods today you better not go alone
    It’s lovely down in the woods today but saver to stay at home
    For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain
    Because today’s the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic

  12. agelardi - Jan 13, 2014 at 7:34 PM

    Nothing says “young & hip” like a backwards cap. Is he gonna be wearing his pants low so we can see his crack too?

    • km9000 - Jan 13, 2014 at 7:54 PM

      Like Griffey Jr, right?

    • scatterbrian - Jan 13, 2014 at 8:24 PM

      The full body shot reveals a skateboard under his arm.

    • cofran2004 - Jan 14, 2014 at 1:51 PM

      Bear’s don’t wear pants, silly. They walk around with their stuff swingin’ not worried about the opinions of meer men.

      Unless they go swimming. Then they need swimming trunks. They aren’t barbarians, after all…

  13. cackalackyank - Jan 13, 2014 at 7:42 PM

    I think his name should be LL.

  14. nymets4ever - Jan 13, 2014 at 7:49 PM

    I agree the eyes look a bit watery, but I still like where they’re going with this quite a bit. Definitely a fun, carefree design. Evokes memories of a simpler time.

    • themanytoolsofignorance - Jan 13, 2014 at 8:08 PM

      Would you like a box of tissues, sir? I ask simply because anyone who looks at that tragic little furry muzzle and doesn’t see the “Sobbing on the Inside” despair filled little Ursus abstrusus that is so clearly there must therefore be suffering far worse. I can understand, really. If your suffering exceeds that of his, then by comparison you see him as rather fun-filled. And that my dear sir, is awful.

      Tissue?

  15. fordmandalay - Jan 13, 2014 at 9:04 PM

    And we have a new contender for Worst Mascot Ever. This is Olympic Games Mascot bad!

    • km9000 - Jan 13, 2014 at 11:31 PM

      Looks like we have an archvillain for the animated adventures of Clark & the Cubbie Crew (Addison, Waveland, Sheffield too!)

  16. Old Gator - Jan 13, 2014 at 9:07 PM

    Forest fires prevent bears.

  17. schmedley69 - Jan 13, 2014 at 9:26 PM

    Reminds me of the Simpsons episode where they added Poochie to the cast of the Itchy and Scratchy Show.

  18. railcarcowboy - Jan 13, 2014 at 10:37 PM

    Clark? As in Griswold

    • pbastille - Jan 14, 2014 at 9:11 AM

      as in Jack

  19. Tim's Neighbor - Jan 13, 2014 at 10:59 PM

    I’m a little worried that this will bring bandwagon fans to Wrigley.

    • hcf95688 - Jan 13, 2014 at 11:12 PM

      comment of the day!

    • dinofrank60 - Jan 14, 2014 at 1:02 AM

      Count on it!!! More casual fans!!! Don’t you love it????

  20. riverace19 - Jan 14, 2014 at 2:27 AM

    Hideous, turrible, awful, despicable….. Wow Cubs you really are dumb

  21. TheBirdsAreBackinBmore - Jan 14, 2014 at 9:22 AM

    This is the worst crayon pushing logo i have ever seen. The indian and orioles have great cartoon logos, how could the cubs make something so horrid? oh yeah,….the cubs

  22. TheBirdsAreBackinBmore - Jan 14, 2014 at 9:23 AM

    Just when you thought naming a team The Pelicans was the worst sports could get, and then the Red Sox win the World series…..and then well….this effin bear

  23. brewersfan34 - Jan 14, 2014 at 9:27 AM

    Looks like Kit from Tailspin to me

    https://www.google.com/search?q=talespin+kit+cloudkicker&rls=com.microsoft:en-US:IE-Address&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=lUjVUtWYH9WxsQTawIGoBw&sqi=2&ved=0CCgQsAQ&biw=1391&bih=661#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=k0LMww6jN2dnRM%253A%3BwnOWS4mrSLaUJM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fittybityangl.tripod.com%252Fkitbst.gif%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fittybityangl.tripod.com%252F%3B195%3B257

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