Jan 21, 2014, 3:46 PM EDT
When the Cylons come and wipe out our civilization whatever survivors are left will weep for lost humanity and try hard to carry on. But they’ll also know that we had it coming. Oh boy, did we have it coming.
I mean, what sort of claim to a right of existence do we have as a species when we allow democracy to be perverted in order to elect a “Governor of Brohio.” What, exactly, is the Governor of Brohio, you ask? Well, per the Cleveland Indians and Supreme Bro for Life, Nick Swisher, it’s the bro who does this:
The Brohio Governor is responsible for providing an exceptional experience for every fan that enters the Brohio section. This may include, but is not limited to welcoming bros, leading cheers, encouraging amazing awesomeness throughout the ballpark, and creating an enthusiastic and positive atmosphere for all Brohio nights.
MLB.com has the four finalists’ campaign videos. Here’s one of them:
We deserve whatever we get, people.
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- Small ball prevails … in a 9-8 game 8
- Royals complete thrilling comeback to defeat A’s in the American League Wild Card Game 30
- Josh Hamilton declares himself ready for the ALDS 3
- Wild Card Game: A’s vs. Royals lineups 14
- Pouliot’s 2014 National League awards picks 21
- HBT Daily: A’s vs. Royals. Jon Lester vs. Big Game James. WHO YA GOT?! 12
- Playoff Reset: The American League Wild Card Game 21
- Hunter Pence dropped a bunch of F-bombs in his postgame speech. Good. (116)
- Barry Bonds discovered to be “glassing” — it’s just as bad as you think (90)
- Derek Jeter’s final game in Yankee Stadium could be cancelled because of rain (85)
- And That Happened: Sunday’s scores and highlights (85)
- Previewing the 2014 Playoffs (80)