Jan 21, 2014, 3:46 PM EDT
When the Cylons come and wipe out our civilization whatever survivors are left will weep for lost humanity and try hard to carry on. But they’ll also know that we had it coming. Oh boy, did we have it coming.
I mean, what sort of claim to a right of existence do we have as a species when we allow democracy to be perverted in order to elect a “Governor of Brohio.” What, exactly, is the Governor of Brohio, you ask? Well, per the Cleveland Indians and Supreme Bro for Life, Nick Swisher, it’s the bro who does this:
The Brohio Governor is responsible for providing an exceptional experience for every fan that enters the Brohio section. This may include, but is not limited to welcoming bros, leading cheers, encouraging amazing awesomeness throughout the ballpark, and creating an enthusiastic and positive atmosphere for all Brohio nights.
MLB.com has the four finalists’ campaign videos. Here’s one of them:
We deserve whatever we get, people.
- The Athletics have a travel-heavy 2016 schedule and unsuccessfully tried to have it altered 0
- Mariners fire general manager Jack Zduriencik 55
- Pedro Martinez wonders if bad chemistry is the reason the Tigers and Mariners are out of contention 45
- Vote of non-confidence: Reds owner says manager Bryan Price won’t be fired before the season is over 20
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights 82
- Denard Span headed back to DL with hip inflammation, unlikely to return this season 10
- Report: Barry Bonds loses collusion case against MLB 40
- Jessica Mendoza to sit in for Curt Schilling on Sunday Night Baseball this week 80
- Sarah Palin sticks up for Curt Schilling, tells ESPN to “stick to sports” (238)
- Dan Patrick: When does ESPN cut ties with Curt Schilling? (200)
- Curt Schilling taken off of Little League World Series duty for making a really bad tweet (169)
- Curt Schilling taken off of ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball telecast this week (134)
- Phillies announcer calls Mets fans “obnoxious” (122)