Jan 21, 2014, 3:46 PM EDT
When the Cylons come and wipe out our civilization whatever survivors are left will weep for lost humanity and try hard to carry on. But they’ll also know that we had it coming. Oh boy, did we have it coming.
I mean, what sort of claim to a right of existence do we have as a species when we allow democracy to be perverted in order to elect a “Governor of Brohio.” What, exactly, is the Governor of Brohio, you ask? Well, per the Cleveland Indians and Supreme Bro for Life, Nick Swisher, it’s the bro who does this:
The Brohio Governor is responsible for providing an exceptional experience for every fan that enters the Brohio section. This may include, but is not limited to welcoming bros, leading cheers, encouraging amazing awesomeness throughout the ballpark, and creating an enthusiastic and positive atmosphere for all Brohio nights.
MLB.com has the four finalists’ campaign videos. Here’s one of them:
We deserve whatever we get, people.
- Boston Marathon heroes remembered with pregame ceremony at Fenway Park 3
- Benches clear in Pittsburgh after the Brewers’ Carlos Gomez bat flips a third-inning triple 136
- Yankees activate Mark Teixeira from the disabled list 4
- Ivan Nova diagnosed with a partially torn ulnar collateral ligament in his right elbow 30
- Settling the Score: Saturday’s results 35
- Hank Aaron is getting vile racist hate mail in retaliation for pointing out that racism still exists (248)
- “They Don’t Know Henry” (167)
- Benches clear in Pittsburgh after the Brewers’ Carlos Gomez bat flips a third-inning triple (137)
- Doug Glanville’s story about being racially profiled at his own home (127)
- There is still a racial divide in baseball (112)