Jan 21, 2014, 3:46 PM EDT
When the Cylons come and wipe out our civilization whatever survivors are left will weep for lost humanity and try hard to carry on. But they’ll also know that we had it coming. Oh boy, did we have it coming.
I mean, what sort of claim to a right of existence do we have as a species when we allow democracy to be perverted in order to elect a “Governor of Brohio.” What, exactly, is the Governor of Brohio, you ask? Well, per the Cleveland Indians and Supreme Bro for Life, Nick Swisher, it’s the bro who does this:
The Brohio Governor is responsible for providing an exceptional experience for every fan that enters the Brohio section. This may include, but is not limited to welcoming bros, leading cheers, encouraging amazing awesomeness throughout the ballpark, and creating an enthusiastic and positive atmosphere for all Brohio nights.
MLB.com has the four finalists’ campaign videos. Here’s one of them:
We deserve whatever we get, people.
- Matt Garza ejected after hitting Andrew McCutchen a second time 2
- Tigers hang on for second straight win against Royals 2
- Phil Hughes could finish the season with the best K/BB ratio in MLB history 10
- Settling the Score: Friday’s results 25
- Clayton Kershaw wins his 20th game of the season 11
- Why are so many people acting like Bryce Harper is a bum? 80
- It certainly looks like Barry Bonds’ criminal conviction is going to be overturned 100
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights 72
- Geddy Lee’s baseball obsession makes it really hard for me to hate Rush (118)
- Ron Washington claims he resigned because he cheated on his wife (103)
- It certainly looks like Barry Bonds’ criminal conviction is going to be overturned (101)
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights (83)
- Umpire ejects jackwagon fan heckling Bryce Harper in Atlanta last night (82)