Jan 21, 2014, 3:46 PM EST
When the Cylons come and wipe out our civilization whatever survivors are left will weep for lost humanity and try hard to carry on. But they’ll also know that we had it coming. Oh boy, did we have it coming.
I mean, what sort of claim to a right of existence do we have as a species when we allow democracy to be perverted in order to elect a “Governor of Brohio.” What, exactly, is the Governor of Brohio, you ask? Well, per the Cleveland Indians and Supreme Bro for Life, Nick Swisher, it’s the bro who does this:
The Brohio Governor is responsible for providing an exceptional experience for every fan that enters the Brohio section. This may include, but is not limited to welcoming bros, leading cheers, encouraging amazing awesomeness throughout the ballpark, and creating an enthusiastic and positive atmosphere for all Brohio nights.
MLB.com has the four finalists’ campaign videos. Here’s one of them:
We deserve whatever we get, people.
- Yasmany Tomas signs a six-year, $68.5 million deal with the Diamondbacks 86
- No, the Red Sox signing Pablo and Hanley is not proof that baseball needs a salary cap 162
- Red Sox announce four-year, $88 million deal with Hanley Ramirez, DFA Juan Francisco 35
- The Cubs have offered Jon Lester “north of $135 million” 68
- Pablo Sandoval’s deal: five years, $98 million plus an option 43
- Kyle Seager, Mariners close to $100 million extension 26
- The 2015 Hall of Fame ballot is out — Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez are new on the ballot 286
- So what would the Red Sox look like with Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval? 49
- The 2015 Hall of Fame ballot is out — Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez are new on the ballot (286)
- No, the Red Sox signing Pablo and Hanley is not proof that baseball needs a salary cap (162)
- More Hall of Fame ballots like Adam Rubin’s please (138)
- Report: Pablo Sandoval chose the Red Sox over the Giants because he felt disrespected (137)
- UPDATE: The Pablo Sandoval-Red Sox deal is done, pending a physical (133)