Jan 21, 2014, 3:46 PM EDT
When the Cylons come and wipe out our civilization whatever survivors are left will weep for lost humanity and try hard to carry on. But they’ll also know that we had it coming. Oh boy, did we have it coming.
I mean, what sort of claim to a right of existence do we have as a species when we allow democracy to be perverted in order to elect a “Governor of Brohio.” What, exactly, is the Governor of Brohio, you ask? Well, per the Cleveland Indians and Supreme Bro for Life, Nick Swisher, it’s the bro who does this:
The Brohio Governor is responsible for providing an exceptional experience for every fan that enters the Brohio section. This may include, but is not limited to welcoming bros, leading cheers, encouraging amazing awesomeness throughout the ballpark, and creating an enthusiastic and positive atmosphere for all Brohio nights.
MLB.com has the four finalists’ campaign videos. Here’s one of them:
We deserve whatever we get, people.
- Royals might actually know what they are doing 11
- Curt Schilling reveals that he was diagnosed with mouth cancer, blames smokeless tobacco 63
- Clown shoes in Chicago: the Cubs grounds crew couldn’t get the tarp on the field 56
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights 69
- Tony La Russa denies that Kirk Gibson’s job is safe 22
- Pirates activate Andrew McCutchen from the disabled list 2
- HBT Daily: They’ve dropped six straight, but the Pirates may be the Wild Card favorites 2
- The Diamondbacks plan to bring back Kirk Gibson for some reason 31
- Mike Matheny addresses turmoil in Ferguson: “It’s a sad situation. It’s a tough situation for our city” (125)
- Jayson Werth clocked at 105 m.p.h. in a 55 zone, is charged with reckless driving (88)
- Here’s today’s dose of barfy Derek Jeter sentiment (82)
- Baseball is dying, you guys (78)
- A vote for Tom Werner for commissioner is a vote to return to the dark ages (78)