Jan 29, 2014, 3:30 PM EDT
People paying attention to the Super Bowl when there’s big news like this from baseball:
Source: Descalso, #STLCards settle at midpoint, $1.29M. Deal also includes performance bonuses.
— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) January 29, 2014
Descalso requested $1.65 million and the Cards offered $930,000.
There. I’ve sunk to a “utility infielder avoids arbitration” post. Are you happy, world? The offseason has officially hit its nadir.
Now: back to working on my action movie script in which Chipper Jones saves America after the evil General Bonesteel tries to kidnap the president. I think I’ll call it “Chipper Jones: Bonesteel.” I don’t have the plot worked out completely yet, but his secret weapon is his Yicketty Stick on which he goes Mammo on his enemies. And when he needs to get out of a tight spot fast, he summons his helicopter by barking “Chopper to Chipper!” into a two-way radio.
I figure it’ll make, like, a billion dollars once you figure in international box office.
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- Manny Machado to undergo season-ending knee surgery 29
- The Cubs grounds crew was short staffed because the Cubs were trying to avoid Obamacare 236
- Cuban outfielder Rusney Castillo to sign with the Red Sox for $72 million 96
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights 31
- The Nationals extend their winning streak to 10 games with another walk-off victory 12
- Garrett Richards out 6-9 months with torn patellar tendon 14
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- Mike Matheny addresses turmoil in Ferguson: “It’s a sad situation. It’s a tough situation for our city” (127)
- Cuban outfielder Rusney Castillo to sign with the Red Sox for $72 million (96)
- A pitch clock in Major League Baseball? No thanks. (92)
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