Jan 29, 2014, 3:30 PM EDT
People paying attention to the Super Bowl when there’s big news like this from baseball:
Source: Descalso, #STLCards settle at midpoint, $1.29M. Deal also includes performance bonuses.
— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) January 29, 2014
Descalso requested $1.65 million and the Cards offered $930,000.
There. I’ve sunk to a “utility infielder avoids arbitration” post. Are you happy, world? The offseason has officially hit its nadir.
Now: back to working on my action movie script in which Chipper Jones saves America after the evil General Bonesteel tries to kidnap the president. I think I’ll call it “Chipper Jones: Bonesteel.” I don’t have the plot worked out completely yet, but his secret weapon is his Yicketty Stick on which he goes Mammo on his enemies. And when he needs to get out of a tight spot fast, he summons his helicopter by barking “Chopper to Chipper!” into a two-way radio.
I figure it’ll make, like, a billion dollars once you figure in international box office.
- Rockies place Troy Tulowitzki on the disabled list 12
- Rob Manfred “heavily favored” to be Bud Selig’s replacement 16
- Yankees acquire Chase Headley from Padres 85
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights 39
- Cliff Lee struggles in first start back from disabled list 15
- On the 10th anniversary of his MLB debut, let’s appreciate David Wright 29
- And That Happened: Sunday’s scores and highlights 36
- Odrisamer Despaigne loses his no-hitter with two outs in the eighth inning 8