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Must-click link: How each general manager might explain his team’s 2014 World Series title

Feb 9, 2014, 10:32 AM EDT

Tyler Kepner has an interesting piece on the New York Times’ website with guesses on how each Major League Baseball general manager might explain a 2014 World Series championship run. It ranges from humorous — see the Cubs and Astros — to serious and insightful. Here’s the Orioles’ entry:

ORIOLES, Dan Duquette

We didn’t do much last winter, but we knew what we had in Dylan Bundy and Kevin Gausman. The way we played after they came up from the minors to lead the rotation, it was like 1966 all over again.

Go read the rest of the blurbs. The photoshop job at the top of the page is especially cool.

  1. Old Gator - Feb 9, 2014 at 10:52 AM

    Cashman’s Tanaka crack is priceless.

    • themanytoolsofignorance - Feb 9, 2014 at 10:55 AM

      I agree. By far the best one.

  2. themanytoolsofignorance - Feb 9, 2014 at 10:55 AM

    Am I to understand this correctly? The Yankees really have no one on the team younger than 28? And that player is an un-MLB tested Tanaka?

    Well. I didn’t realize it was that bad. Perhaps its time for Cashman to trade for Jonny Gomes.

    • gloccamorra - Feb 10, 2014 at 8:53 AM

      “Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.”

  3. historiophiliac - Feb 9, 2014 at 11:29 AM

    Meh, the Tigers one was underwhelming. Prince being gone won’t be a key to on-field success and Rondon gave up some crap before (even if it wasn’t grand slams). I wonder why he didn’t go with the obvious saber troll or something about Beautiful Brad’s youth and handsomeness making the difference.

  4. happytwinsfan - Feb 9, 2014 at 11:56 AM

    terry ryan’s answer would have to begin with “i thank the lord that i was persuaded by the startlingly insightful posts on hbt by happytwinsfan to sign drew, the second coming of Zoilo Casanova Versalles Rodriguez.”

  5. eagles512 - Feb 9, 2014 at 12:01 PM

    Think it could have been much funnier

  6. dirtyharry1971 - Feb 9, 2014 at 1:15 PM

    ok here is the real one for the jays

    BLUE JAYS, Alex Anthopoulos

    (AA takes the podium) First I would like to thank all the bluejay fans out there, all 8 of you. I see 7 of you were able to make it out tonight, PC couldn’t because his jock itch was flaring up again so lets wish him a quick recovery. I would like to thank the Phillies tonight because without their 15 errors in the 5th inning tonight we could not have won this series. I also want to thank Ryan Howard for not running to second in the 3rd inning from first base when that ball was hit, well either he didn’t run or he was stuck in quick sand its hard to tell with him. Id also like to thank the Indians and Rangers for all the errors they committed in our playoff series with each team because without that help we wouldn’t be standing here tonight. And last I would like to announce that this was the last season for Toronto Bluejay baseball, we are gonna join the expos in that diamond up in the sky. I want to say how sorry I am to all 8 of our fans, thank you and have a good nite

    • proudlycanadian - Feb 9, 2014 at 1:55 PM

      AA also said that we could not have won without a big assist from the Yankees, a team that decided to go with cripples at first, second and short, plus a stiff from the morgue at third.

      • cur'68 - Feb 9, 2014 at 2:14 PM

        Just throw him a peanut, PC. He’s only doing this for the food rewards. If we do this right we might be able to train him to do stuff. Like bathing. That would be nice. Maybe even with soap, too.

      • dirtyharry1971 - Feb 9, 2014 at 2:15 PM

        the problem with that is this like your life this is make believe, the jays won “nothing” so you see this speech will never happen. Remember….1993 baby!!

      • dirtyharry1971 - Feb 9, 2014 at 2:17 PM

        and cur knows I don’t bath how exactly? Oh that’s right thru a message board!! I love it when people make a total a$$ out of themselves and I don’t even have to do a thing.

      • cur'68 - Feb 9, 2014 at 2:27 PM

        Whew! What was THAT??? Damn man! Brush that toof, too! You got peanut gunk bunged up in it! Jeez. You nasty ole poo flinging chimps are really the business, aint ya?

      • Old Gator - Feb 9, 2014 at 2:38 PM

        Our virtual village idiot really is totally clueless, isn’t he? This “you don’t know me” rap is his latest mindless gambit. Give him a few months to beat it to death before he recycles one of his old ones. Also, I note that after a day or so of consulting with his spell-checker, one of our two resident lowlives us back to his old illiterate self.

        But of course, we don’t know him, so how can we possibly know that he’s illiterate? For that matter, how come we’re all so sure that he’s a moron, too? Something to ponder, eh?

      • Old Gator - Feb 9, 2014 at 2:39 PM

        “…is back.” Come on Craig, where’s that edit function, hah?

      • dirtyharry1971 - Feb 9, 2014 at 2:45 PM

        You wont admit it but my AA speech was one of the funniest things I ever read on here, sometimes I really crack myself up and this is one of those times. God its great to be me, I certainly am gifted even the ladies will back me up on that claim (wink)

      • proudlycanadian - Feb 9, 2014 at 3:14 PM

        Unclean Harold is on crack? Who knew?

      • cur'68 - Feb 9, 2014 at 3:23 PM

        PC, Its not so much the crack as the lack of mental health care in America that we see in ‘harry. He’s clearly mentally challenged as well as troubled. Poor soppy old thing. Just give him a peanut (from upwind) and send him on his way, eh?

      • Old Gator - Feb 9, 2014 at 3:34 PM

        Your AA speech was pretty lame, predictable, circumscribed by ignorance and dumb as a post like the rest of your mindless scribblings here, O virtual village idiot. And I’m sure the ladies do, indeed, love to practice changing diapers on you, you pathetic case of arrested development (which is giving you credit for prior development, I realize, but then, we don’t know you) almost as much as you love soiling them.

      • moogro - Feb 9, 2014 at 6:10 PM

        Can we periodically vote someone off the island?

      • dirtyharry1971 - Feb 9, 2014 at 6:25 PM

        the unclean Harold is really really really weak, obviously the movie scared the hell out of you and it should have. Greatest movie ever made PERIOD

      • proudlycanadian - Feb 9, 2014 at 8:01 PM

        Listen punk! There were several Clint Eastwood movies that were better. Dirty Harry is never included in the list of greatest movies by critics.

      • happytwinsfan - Feb 9, 2014 at 7:12 PM

        when you guys go tearing into harry, don’t you kinda feel like you’re kicking a dog. maybe you should stop. i think that if you all didn’t enjoy ripping on harry so much, you would have figured out that the only way to silence harry, when ever he does one of his all things blue jays and canadians are evil, blah blah, posts, is, with silence.

        harry do you think that the yanks are ready to roll for the regular season, or do you think that they’re gonna sign drew in order to lighten the captain’s load. as a twins fan i would hate that.

      • happytwinsfan - Feb 9, 2014 at 8:05 PM

        hey pc, true the first dirty harry movie wasn’t as good as a number of clint eastward moves, my favorite was grand torino. but if we’re talking the same genre, we should cite bullit as the best of that bunch.

      • proudlycanadian - Feb 9, 2014 at 8:20 PM

        Bullit was a terrific movie with my favourite chase scene. The chase scene in The French Connection was also terrific.

      • happytwinsfan - Feb 9, 2014 at 8:30 PM

        my favorite scene was when steve mcqueen looked in the mirror afterward, and didn’t entirely like what he saw.

      • dirtyharry1971 - Feb 9, 2014 at 8:43 PM

        Bullit???You hoser that is McQeen who by the way is also a GOD to me, you don’t even have your movies straight!!! Clint was the best ever, his westerns, his Cop movies, anyone who even dares to argue with me on that is either 1. lying 2. into needle point. But with that said there is nothing bad you can say about Steve McQueen I mean that guy was great and god bless him.

      • happytwinsfan - Feb 9, 2014 at 8:55 PM

        yeaaaah harry!!!

        steve mcqueen was the cooliest. remember the motorcycle scene in the great escape.

        clint eastwood, i think the westerns were only okay. besides grand torino i prefer flags of our fathers. my dad was an okinawa and iwo jima vet.

        i also have found, from personal experience, that canadians are an intelligent and humane people. any chance we could have some fun talking baseball?

      • cur'68 - Feb 9, 2014 at 10:24 PM

        Well Dog He’p me. We agree on Steve McQueen and Bullit at least. The Mustang vs The Charger. My brothers and I used to argue this one all the time. I still recall it: slightly less HP less weight in the Mustang. More ponies but more weight in the Charger. Who wins that race on a street? Mustang, I bet. It’d just out handle the Charger. Still, what a great car chase.

  7. APBA Guy - Feb 9, 2014 at 1:29 PM

    Not crazy about the A’s blurb, but I enjoyed the Cubs. My winner though is “Nolan Ryan’s 25 no-hitters”. But somehow, I think even that wouldn’t be enough for the Astros in 2014.

  8. cadillacjosh - Feb 9, 2014 at 4:26 PM

    The Brewers one made me laugh pretty hard, because it’s the exact full of optimism prediction me and all of my Brewer friends have been saying since we got Garza.

  9. contraryguy - Feb 9, 2014 at 4:39 PM

    Yeah, that pretty much says it for the Reds: the season hinges on the ability of one guy to create a new offense for the team. I doubt even Walt is holding his breath on that one.

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