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Quote of the Day: Derek Jeter is pretty close to Jesus

Feb 13, 2014, 2:09 PM EDT

Not Montero, either. The big JC. At least according to Albert Pujols:


And here I thought that ranking him above Babe Ruth was an exercise in hyperbole.

  1. halladaysbiceps - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:18 PM

    “Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?” – Eddie Harris, Major League (film)

  2. philsieg - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:22 PM

    I never knew Jesus couldn’t go to his left.

    • Old Gator - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:30 PM

      He’s sandbagged on that side by right wingers who don’t want him to withdraw his support for the death penalty.

      • El Bravo - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:33 PM

        Gator, I chuckled loudly at this.

        El Bravo

      • raysfan1 - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:42 PM

        Too late. John 8:7

    • paperlions - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:10 PM

      Why do you think they are called “right wingers”?

      (I know the right answer, just a joke.)

      • Old Gator - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:52 PM

        A rugby reference?

  3. aphillieated - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:25 PM

    I want my kids to grow up like Richard Sherman.

    • El Bravo - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:33 PM

      Wrong blog bro.

  4. johnnysoda - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:28 PM

    And this is only the day after he retired.

    I imagine by Opening Day, people’ll be saying he actually is Jesus, and by the end of the season, they’ll say he’s God Himself.

    • Old Gator - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:31 PM

      Then before you know it, he’ll be showing up on tortillas.

      • bigharold - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:34 PM

        What’s with the Taco Hole reference??

      • clemente2 - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:40 PM

        OG–I appreciate your not-always-characteristic restraint here, accompanied by your always-present humor and style.

      • Old Gator - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:53 PM

        It’s not restraint. It’s laryngitis.

    • chill1184 - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:38 PM

      It’s only the beginning

    • indaburg - Feb 13, 2014 at 10:39 PM

      Opening Day?

      Derek Jeter was a God. Who cares what anyone's opinion is.— Dee Gordon (@FlashGJr) February 12, 2014

  5. aphillieated - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:32 PM

    Honus Wagner is numero 1

  6. rbj1 - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:34 PM

    Yeah, but did Jesus ever dive into the stands for a foul ball?

    • Old Gator - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:57 PM

      It was in the apocryphal Gospel of David 10:1:11, that it might be done, as in Ezekiel 25:17.

  7. pastabelly - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:35 PM

    Okay, as long as he is ahead of Babe Ruth, that’s all that counts. It’s times like these that people engage in so much hyperbole. Jeter was never even the best player in his own league in any one season. He was a great player who played on some great teams.

  8. halladaysbiceps - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:38 PM

    Sort of on the same topic: Jayson Stark just tweeted out the following question: “The heck w/ how the #Yankees will replace Derek Jeter. How will MLB replace him as its Face of Baseball?”

    Mike Trout would be my guess/answer. Thoughts?

    • chill1184 - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:41 PM

      I would go with either Trout, Cabrera or maybe Harper. Alternate option would be highlight some of the young stud pitchers

      • cur'68 - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:50 PM

        Andrew McCutheon

    • mybrunoblog - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:51 PM

      I Always marvel when sportswriters and fans lament “How can such and such or so and so be replaced?” My friends, Ty Cobb was replaced, Babe Ruth retired, Willie Mays, Seaver and all the rest left the game and we all got on fine.
      I’m a huge Yankee fan and I’ll miss Jeter a lot but on opening day 2015 we’ll still field a team and play 162 games.
      The message? Anyone is replaceable and life goes on…….

      • halladaysbiceps - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:57 PM

        Excellent point. I agree. Anyone is replaceable in the grand scheme of things.

      • Old Gator - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:58 PM

        Reading Darwin again, huh?

  9. nymets4ever - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:38 PM

    It’s going to be a long, long year…and that’s even before you factor in that I’m a Mets fan.

    • sdelmonte - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:40 PM

      It’s probably too much to hope that the Mets would ever have the nerve to not do anything to say goodbye to him on the grounds that Mets don’t honor Yankees. But it would be seen as bad form. And as inconsistent.

      • thebadguyswon - Feb 13, 2014 at 4:52 PM

        If they honored Jones and Rivera, then they’d certainly get Jeter a present too.

    • moogro - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:53 PM

      You said it. Even though the farewell tour has jumped the shark, that won’t stop this one from being a farewell tour on steroids. Wait, what?

  10. zzalapski - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:40 PM

    Yeah, but Jeter never got in trouble for PEDs, unlike Jesus.

  11. prancerbyanose - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:40 PM

    Of course! Public crucifixion is almost the same thing as playing shortstop for the New York Yankees?

    • Old Gator - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:59 PM

      Well, it’s probably more like playing third base for them.


  12. Charles Gates - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:41 PM

    You mean Jeter existed but the tales of his deeds are invented to fit the narrative of those telling the story?

    • jak1201 - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:48 PM

      Yeah Jeets!

    • Old Gator - Feb 13, 2014 at 4:01 PM

      Charles: yes, the process of narrative embellishment of an actual historical personage known as Euhemerism. The specific heroes who result are known as Euhemorrhoids.

  13. jasonwinter - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:41 PM

    Only if he decides, three days after the season ends, to un-retire.

    • halladaysbiceps - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:44 PM

      Great/funny comment!

    • moogro - Feb 13, 2014 at 2:58 PM

      This is the winner.

  14. burgundyandgold - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:29 PM

    If only Jesus slept with every woman he say then gave her a gift basket they would be like the same guy.

    • sportsdrenched - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:33 PM

      Now you know why we celebrate Easter with Easter baskets.

      • jerze2387 - Feb 13, 2014 at 4:07 PM

        Jeester baskets

  15. sportsdrenched - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:31 PM

    In the Aporypha it states that Jesus made the Disciples leave their cell phones on the lower floor before they went to the upper room for the Last Supper.

    • Old Gator - Feb 13, 2014 at 4:03 PM

      The Apocrypha are coming up beeg today. Gnostic Gospels, anyone?

      • happytwinsfan - Feb 13, 2014 at 9:53 PM

        sons of light versus sons of darkness, the borg definitely got a role in that play.

  16. philliesblow - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:33 PM

    And thus a new name is born: Derek Jesus

  17. humanexcrement - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:40 PM

    Jeter has NOTHING in common with Jesus. One of them is completely overhyped, more myth than substance, has an undeserved reputation propagated by overzealous fans, and the other plays shortstop for the Yankees.

    • thomasgarvey - Feb 13, 2014 at 3:56 PM

      You chose a very appropriate handle for yourself

      • js20011041 - Feb 13, 2014 at 5:12 PM

        You do realize that in all likelihood, jesus never existed, right? We have precisely zero contemporary accounts of jesus outside of the bible. Why not? Writing existed. Historians existed. We have multiple contemporary accounts of other historical figures that existed at that time. Why wouldn’t anyone write stuff down about the purported son of god who spends his time performing miracles?

      • Tyree Studio - Feb 13, 2014 at 5:25 PM

        Might want to check your history:

        –Roman historian Tacitus in AD 64
        –Letter from Pliny the Younger to Emperor Trajan around AD 112
        –First century Jewish historian Josephus
        –refs to historical Jesus in Babylonian Talmud

        All non-biblical historical refs to an actual person named Jesus. Whether you believe his claims as the son of God is up to you. But there was a historical Jesus.

      • js20011041 - Feb 13, 2014 at 5:50 PM

        Tacitus has but a single reference to a Christus, but not to Jesus.

        As to a letter from Pliny the Younger, a letter sent in 112 obviously wouldn’t be a contemporary account. It also doesn’t reference Jesus. It references christians.

        The Josephus reference was a forgery. This is historically accepted.

        To say that the historical acceptance of references to Jesus in the Talmud are mixed would be really stretching it.

        So, not only is the written evidence scant, but there also isn’t any physical evidence of his existence. No artifacts or works of carpentry.

      • nothanksimdriving123 - Feb 13, 2014 at 5:58 PM

        To clarify, it is extremely likely Jesus truly existed. We know very little about his actual life, deeds and utterances. The birth story, his purported resurrection and much of what is believed about his time as a radical rabbi are mythology, created many years after he died, mostly by men who never met the chap. In some cases they borrowed from the myths of other cultures. Given his heritage, he probably did look a little more like Mr Jeter than, say, the Swedish looking fellow in many fanciful paintings.

      • js20011041 - Feb 13, 2014 at 6:50 PM

        Please explain how it is “extremely likely” that jesus existed. What evidence asserts this? We have no physical evidence of his existence, nor do we have any contemporary writings that confirm his existence. Everything written about him was written long after his death and never recreations of first hand accounts. It’s all hearsay.

      • happytwinsfan - Feb 13, 2014 at 10:14 PM


        back in my (relatively) younger ambitious days (early 90’s) i engaged in research as to the likely hood of the historicity of the jesus figure. i reviewed the arguments of robinson. schweitzer, wells and others. my ending conclusion was that the surviving evidence was mortally flawed, and that the best we might do was to announce which probabilistic inference was the most supported. my, hesitant, one was that the stories of the new testament are at least partially based on remembrances of an actual historical individual as opposed to being an entirely evangelical construct, are somewhat more likely then not.

        my real final conclusion: who cares.

      • dan1111 - Feb 14, 2014 at 11:53 AM

        Nearly all scholars believe that Jesus actually existed. There is broad agreement among scholars that the New Testament writings nearly all date to the first century, with the earliest being less than 30 years after Jesus’ death. A movement arising around a completely fabricated person, among people who would have been alive when that person was supposed to exist, is implausible. Furthermore, the New Testament contains lots of evidence of debate with opponents who knew about Jesus at the time. For example, Matthew has a story about Jewish leaders claiming that Jesus’ body was stolen. Why would Christians make up a story like this, which would only add doubt to their claims about Jesus? It only makes sense as a response to real rumors about Jesus’ body being stolen.

        It is not surprising that he would not appear in other contemporary sources, since, even according to the Bible’s accounts, he led a very small group of followers in a backwater of the Roman empire. The amount of evidence for Jesus’ existence is far greater than for many historical figures that no one seriously questions. Many people in history are only named in a single source, or only named in sources that come hundreds of years later.

        Of course there is a lot of debate about what the historical Jesus was like and how much truth there is in biblical writings about him, but there is no serious debate about whether he existed.

  18. sportsdrenched - Feb 13, 2014 at 5:36 PM

    You do realize that the authors of the Bible didn’t know their writings would one day be included in a collections of other writings called “The Bible”?

    It would make sense that the early Chrisitans would try and gather as much original documentation about the life of Jesus and put it one place.

  19. onbucky96 - Feb 14, 2014 at 9:21 AM

    Only Jesus is perfect. Jeter takes a close second, and Mike Lupica settles for the bronze. Cue the Imperial March…

  20. professor59 - Feb 14, 2014 at 2:27 PM

    Which of the gospels recounts Jesus nailing all those models and actresses? Matthew 6:9?

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