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Every spring training story in one handy-dandy location

Feb 17, 2014, 5:30 PM EDT

Mad Libs

Jesse Spector of The Sporting News is gonna save you a lot of time. He has put together every single possible spring training story together in one location. Except he has taken out all the teams and player names and put them in Mad Libs form.

It’s a joke, sure. But it’s also spot-on. It’s my job to read just about every baseball churned out by major media and by the time I read this thing a few minutes ago I had already read a good dozen of real stories that closely hew to the format Spector defines.

And yes, BSOHL is in there too. Because of course it is.

  1. f.verd - Feb 17, 2014 at 6:07 PM

    Well, this is a new low for (least favorite sports’ writer’s name)! The last time I read something from him that was almost worth reading was when he mistakenly substituted his lunch menu while he was supposed to be covering and writing about (least favorite athlete’s name). He compared that athlete to (least favorite vegetable)…

  2. Old Gator - Feb 17, 2014 at 6:12 PM

    Horrible cartoon.

  3. rbj1 - Feb 17, 2014 at 6:40 PM

    Funniest thing I’ve read since (last very funny thing)

  4. raysfan1 - Feb 17, 2014 at 8:36 PM

    I want some writer to actually take one of these, fill in the names, etc, and file it as an actual article to see if anyone notices.

    • historiophiliac - Feb 17, 2014 at 9:37 PM

      I should have my niece draw names and etc out of a hat to make stories and we watch to see which ones actually happen!

      The pre-season sillies are upon us.

  5. psunick - Feb 17, 2014 at 11:06 PM

    Some of us enjoy those articles

  6. 4d3fect - Feb 18, 2014 at 12:53 AM

    Well, this certainly saved everyone a lot of work.

  7. shutdownespn - Feb 18, 2014 at 3:58 AM

    The lineup for the New York Yankees appears fairly well settled as spring training begins, which should make Joe Girardi happy, with one notable exception: the gaping hole at third base while Alex Rodriguez spends this season suspended for PED use.

    The battle for third base figures to feature Kelly Johnson and Eduardo Nunez, with Ronnier Mustelier maybe having a shot if the organization feels he is ready. Mustelier is almost certain to begin the season with Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, though, so it’s shaping up as a two-man battle.

    “You don’t really replace a player like Rodriguez,” Girardi said. “We’re glad that we were able to sign Johnson, and it should be a good competition with Nunez. I’m also looking forward to seeing Mustelier, because our minor league people have raved about his arm.”

    One thing that could give Johnson an advantage is that Nunez has not played third base effectively since 2010.

    • Liam - Feb 18, 2014 at 9:28 AM

      Eduardo Nunez did not play third base effectively in 2010. I’m willing to propose the theory that Eduardo Nunez has never effectively played anywhere before.

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