Feb 20, 2014, 2:12 PM EDT
Alan, dude. You’re my childhood idol. I wore number 3 when I played little league and Babe Ruth baseball because I adored you. And I have been outraged to the point of insanity that, since you have retired, neither the Tigers nor the BBWAA has given you your due. Your number 3 should be retired. You should be in the Hall of Fame. It’s as simple as that.
So, when you say magnanimous, seemingly reasonable and charitable things about how you’re cool with Ian Kinsler wearing your number, you really blow a hole in all of that outrage I’ve been working up. It’s like fighting your way to Jerusalem in a Holy Crusade, only to have God Himself yell down “No, it’s all good. No need to take the Holy City for Christendom.”
Please get with the program. Say some intemperate things about how Ian Kinsler isn’t fit to carry your jock. And while you’re at it, get on Jose Iglesias for wearing Lou Whitaker’s number 1 too. For Pete’s sake, this is unbelievable.
- Clayton Kershaw cleared to begin rehab assignment on Friday at High-A Rancho Cucamonga 1
- Michael Pineda ejected in second inning for pine tar on neck, facing a 10-game suspension 82
- Mark Trumbo diagnosed with stress fracture in foot 7
- Josh Johnson needs a second Tommy John surgery 21
- Sammy Sosa wasn’t invited to Wrigley Field’s 100th birthday 45
- Josh Lueke is a rapist. How often does that bear repeating? (200)
- Benches clear in Pittsburgh after the Brewers’ Carlos Gomez bat flips a third-inning triple (183)
- “They Don’t Know Henry” (169)
- Michael Pineda ejected in second inning for pine tar on neck, facing a 10-game suspension (114)
- Chipper Jones chimed in on the Carlos Gomez incident (111)