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Justin Verlander’s life is hard

Feb 20, 2014, 12:19 PM EDT

justin verlander kate upton getty

There are “first world problems.” Then there is the guy who is having sex with Kate Upton who now has more exotic sports cars than he can fit in his garage:

Justin Verlander has a problem, and it’s totally unrelated to baseball.

A noted sports car enthusiast, Verlander’s impressive collection officially reached nine cars this spring after he received his orange Lamborghini Aventador Roadster last week — a car he ordered nearly two years ago . . . The only issue? Verlander’s garage at his house in Virginia only stores eight cars.

Verlander says “You can do the math. I’ve got to go back home in the offseason and figure it out.” I hope the local Habitat for Humanity in Justin Verlander’s hometown is reading this, because help is desperately needed.

(thanks to historiophiliac for the heads up)

  1. El Bravo - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:25 PM

    Are there any more Justin Verlander job openings available because I’d like to send my resume in for consideration.

    • El Bravo - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:26 PM

      ps. Aventador is hotter than Kate Upton. Sorry fellow fellas, but I’m not impressed by her as much as you are. The Lamborghini? That turns me on.

      • js20011041 - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:31 PM

        But where does my penis go?

      • largebill - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:42 PM

        I suppose Upton’s beauty can be debated, but anyone who is more turned on by a car than by her has issues.

      • El Bravo - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:54 PM

        Alls I’m sayin’ is that, like you said, her beauty can be debated, but the Aventador’s beauty is not up for debate.

      • El Bravo - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:55 PM

        “But where does my penis go?” Well, probably anywhere you want it to assuming you own the Aventador.

      • Joe Hansen - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:00 PM

        You say it can’t be debated and yet I think it looks unnecessarily showy and could not care less about its existence.

      • El Bravo - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:22 PM

        Wow, some folks in here are just total Negative Nancy’s.

      • professor59 - Feb 20, 2014 at 8:55 PM

        I hope I don’t feel that way when I’m I’m that old…

    • KR - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:41 PM

      If you can pitch like Justin Verlander there’s probably about 30 openings for you.

    • mick2014 - Feb 20, 2014 at 7:59 PM

      Verlander is ugly, he should realize the only reason women take a second glance at him is because he has loads of cash. To bad he is a bum in the playoffs!

  2. rainmaker1982 - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:26 PM

    Kate Upton or “Whale Wars” as she’s also known as is extremely overrated by the media for some reason. Her boobs create an illusion like the “hot girl” in the club with ugly friends in the movie “Hall Pass”. Her boobs also divert your attention away from her mustache.

    • daveitsgood - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:34 PM

      I think you’re looking at the wrong person in the picture. The one with the mustache is Verlander is on the right, Upton is on the left.

      • kevinbnyc - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:59 PM

        Justin does have some devastating pecs, though.

    • sportsdrenched - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:07 PM

      Even if all this is correct, I doubt you’d kick her out of your bed for eating crackers.

      • Old Gator - Feb 20, 2014 at 5:58 PM

        True, but I would have to draw the line at chicharrones.

      • jaturso - Feb 20, 2014 at 6:55 PM

        Only if there was more room on the floor.

    • stex52 - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:19 PM

      Where, exactly, is she known as “Whale Wars”? Just curious.

      • jarathen - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:45 PM

        I assume in some poverty-stricken town.

      • tysonpunchinguterus - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:50 PM

        In the fantasy land where this year’s Biggest Loser winner wasn’t even remotely underweight at the finale? Otherwise, I’m not sure. She’s nowhere near overweight.

    • themanytoolsofignorance - Feb 20, 2014 at 4:54 PM

      wait, what? What private deluded fantasy world do you live in?

  3. nyyankeefanforever - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:27 PM

    Verlander may or may not still be having sex with her, but her heart belongs to the Yankees! :)

    • historiophiliac - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:22 PM

      I figured out which one is Derek Jeeter!!!!!

  4. asimonetti88 - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:29 PM

    The Aventador is one sexy car, but I’m pretty partial to the SLS. White is the right color for it too.

    • asimonetti88 - Feb 20, 2014 at 4:03 PM

      I guess there aren’t many SLS fans out there.

  5. stex52 - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:35 PM

    Nine cars, huh? He needs a hobby to preoccupy him. Maybe another girlfriend. Not so much the cost per car. Just what do you need with nine of them?

    • historiophiliac - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:49 PM

      He plays golf too. It’s a hard knock life.

  6. chacochicken - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:39 PM

    So is anyone at your Virginia house while you are tossing bullpen sessions in sunny Florida? Maybe, I’ll go find out for myself, dummy.

  7. historiophiliac - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:43 PM

    Thanks for keeping those dollars in Michigan, V. And, you’ve come a long way from that Taurus.

    • RonKarate - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:46 PM

      He lives in Virginia and the car is Italian. How is he keeping the $$ in Michigan?

      • historiophiliac - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:48 PM

        He bought it from a dealership in Troy and had it shipped to FL.

      • vivabear - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:36 PM

        Well the dollars in the pocket of the car dealership. I guess they pay income tax on it in Michigan.

        The tax and registration go to Virgina…I’m assuming that’s where he titled it.

      • historiophiliac - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:57 PM

        Well, I wasn’t speaking strictly about taxes (but there is that). He could’ve bought the car in Florida or in Virginia. I appreciate that he did not and patronized a Michigan dealer instead.

  8. ritzdeez - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:49 PM

    A friend of mine runs a performance shop in Richmond where Justin Verlander and his dad have brought their cars quite a few times. He makes sure to send me a picture of whichever car is brought in. Bastard.

  9. sincitybonobo - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:55 PM

    And he’s a very good golfer who plays the world’s best courses. And he has the good sense not to have been married. He’s got a few things figured out. Life does not suck for him. Salud. He’s got a great work ethic to go along with his talent and is on the fast-track to Cooperstown. He must have to get quite imaginative when fantasizing- perhaps drilling Erick Aybar in the ribs with a heater gets it done.

    • sincitybonobo - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:05 PM

      Throw in being a beloved figure in a great sports town.

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 20, 2014 at 4:16 PM

      The only negative thing I can point out about Justin Verlander is he is a funny walker.
      Yes…he walks funny. With his legs way out (in front of) his torso.
      Which should be enough for Kate Upton to dump his goofy walking ass.
      Hell…it should have been enough for Kate Upton to turn down his goofy walking ass.
      But the dude sure can pitch.

  10. doctorofsmuganomics - Feb 20, 2014 at 12:57 PM

    Damn you Verlander.

    • historiophiliac - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:07 PM

      What’s the opposite of smug?

      • doctorofsmuganomics - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:12 PM

        I don’t know. But I wasn’t hired to know things, I was hired to give unsanctioned medical advice on the internet at leer at the less fortunate while my chauffeur drives me around.

        You know, the reasons why most people become doctors

      • daveitsgood - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:18 PM


  11. rbj1 - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:08 PM

    What a maroon. Who buys a place with only an eight car garage? There’s a simple rule: twelve car minimum. Sixteen is better so at most you only have to drive the same car twice in any month.

  12. timmmah10 - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:16 PM

    Look – With all the total pieces of shiz in sports lately, someone like Verlander enjoying life in a positive way is very refreshing. Most importantly, all of that money hasn’t gone to his head. He still competes as hard if not harder than every player in baseball on every single pitch.

    Every single man alive is probably jealous of this guy’s lifestyle, but at the same time, the fact that he seems to be an all around good guy makes him tough to hate.

    • stex52 - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:23 PM

      I would say the money has gone to his head. But he’s probably still a good guy.

  13. bkertz - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:17 PM

    First world problems? More like 1% problems. I consider myself a fortunate person, but I’ll never sniff the inside of any of the cars JV owns.

    • KR - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:34 PM

      “1%” is like 400k/year. I’ll take it but I wouldn’t be buying 9 sports cars with it. I think Verlander is more of a 0.001% type.

    • aceshigh11 - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:37 PM

      I’ll never sniff the inside of Kate Upton either.

      Too far?

      • historiophiliac - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:51 PM


      • thesportsjudge - Feb 21, 2014 at 12:16 AM

        No. Not too far.

  14. historiophiliac - Feb 20, 2014 at 1:18 PM

    Joba: Hey, hey, Justin, can I borrow your car? I’ll be careful. I’m a real safe driver. C’mon, man. I won’t take it over 100. We’re pitching buddies now, right? We’re cool. Yeah?

    Verlander: No.

    • doctorofsmuganomics - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:57 PM

      Poor Joba

  15. jm91rs - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:09 PM

    Wait, they aren’t married so I really doubt they’re having sex.

  16. sportsdrenched - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:10 PM

    I won’t be impressed until he has a mini-giraffe on a treadmill….and bails out Greece.

  17. hammerhunker - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:13 PM

    His life isn’t the only thing hard…sitting next to something like that!

    • historiophiliac - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:44 PM


  18. nymets4ever - Feb 20, 2014 at 2:27 PM

    Verlander will never know the satisfaction of reaching 200,000 miles on a trusty, unassuming little Corolla.

    • thesportsjudge - Feb 21, 2014 at 12:18 AM

      He can just buy a 200k mile Corolla.

  19. rcali - Feb 20, 2014 at 3:03 PM

    So maybe this is all why he went backwards last year?

  20. fukpittsburgh - Feb 20, 2014 at 4:21 PM

    I must say, that’s gotta be pretty cool to have Kate Upton tossing your salad.

  21. ggallin4evr - Feb 20, 2014 at 7:48 PM

    Not news.

  22. janessa31888 - Feb 21, 2014 at 7:37 AM

    While the guys fantasize about Kate Upton, I’m going to go make a list of the hottest starting pitchers (based on looks, of course). Matt Harvey is for sure on it, maybe Cole Hamels and C J Wilson, too. It always hugged me that SI gives the guys an eye candy issue, but we girls get nothing. Its rather unfair.

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