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Picture of the Day: Adam Dunn’s locker has a new look after the Oscars

Mar 4, 2014, 10:53 PM EDT

Adam Dunn returned to the White Sox today after attending the 86th annual Academy Awards on Sunday, where “Dallas Buyers Club,” a film which he helped finance and had a cameo in, took home three awards. Now that the veteran slugger is big-time, an unidentified member of the team decided to give his locker a new look:

Well done. When asked to compare this red carpet to the one he faced on Sunday, Dunn said the following to

“This one is way cooler, way less stressful. I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble, but I was really expecting something. I wasn’t expecting something that good. That makes it easy on who did it. When it’s done that good, that nice, I already know who did it, so it makes it easy.”

  1. garypagetwo - Mar 4, 2014 at 11:17 PM

    If you watch the Oscars or any Main Stream Award show . You’re a Jerk Off

    • cohnjusack - Mar 4, 2014 at 11:25 PM

      I’m confused by The Random capitalization of Various words in Your post.

      Also, the only thing more tiresome than people who talk about the Oscars are people who bitch about people watching the Oscars.

      So, if you watch the Oscars or any Main Stream Award show, good for you. I personally don’t. This makes you a Person With Different Taste Than Me. That is fine.

      • historiophiliac - Mar 5, 2014 at 12:47 AM

        Clearly German or Swabian (hence the Holy Roman indignation). Note also the writing out of “two” instead of the vulgar “2” in his handle, suggesting that same linguistic origin. The extra space at the end of the sentence, preceding the period, indicates textual corpulence. However, the lack of punctuation altogether on the second sentence assuredly demonstrates that the writer is neither Calvinist nor Lutheran, sects know for their punctuational rigor. The obvious assumption (presuming an American IP address) then is Quaker — but for the formal sexual sobriquet which suggests our author is a Rumspringa Breaker or a former friend of a Friend, which explains also why “Thou” aren’t a Jerk Off. Less likely, gary is a Congregationalist or descendant of John Adams. I’d need additional samples for analysis to completely rule out that option, thin as it is though.

      • paperlions - Mar 5, 2014 at 7:04 AM

        Hmmmmm, interesting analysis, but I don’t need additional samples. Gary is clearly a dick.

      • happytwinsfan - Mar 5, 2014 at 11:02 PM

        “punctuational rigor”. i just can’t keep repeating that to myself. gonna fall asleep tonight wondering what that have might have meant.

    • tfbuckfutter - Mar 4, 2014 at 11:33 PM

      More like Lame Stream Awards Sh-ould-go amirite?

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Mar 5, 2014 at 9:50 AM

      Shouldn’t jerk-off in this context be hyphenated? As a compound verb it makes sense as two words (e.g., to jerk off; I jerk off; you jerk off; he, she or it jerks off), but as a noun it seems the hyphen should be present so I don’t think Oscar-watchers are simply jerks who are off of something.

      • kevinbnyc - Mar 5, 2014 at 2:07 PM

        I was just happy he got “you’re” right.

    • stlouis1baseball - Mar 6, 2014 at 10:18 AM

      I think Capitalizing various Words throughout A sentence Is the Epitome of Jerkoffishness.

  2. cmtill14 - Mar 4, 2014 at 11:48 PM

    Well played by the team. At least he didn’t wrap it up with “alright, alright, alright.”

  3. bigharold - Mar 5, 2014 at 12:00 AM

    Hard to keep Irish guys down.

  4. ch0psuey - Mar 5, 2014 at 1:17 AM

    Hah, that is awesome.

  5. karlkolchak - Mar 5, 2014 at 7:16 AM

    Dunn just jumped up a few more notches on my list of the coolest players in the league. Nice to see not every player just blows his money on big ass trucks.

    • jwbiii - Mar 5, 2014 at 11:55 AM

      Dunn didn’t put this magnificent display of nonsense together, it was one of his teammates. Read the quote:

      When it’s done that good, that nice, I already know who did it

      • karlkolchak - Mar 5, 2014 at 1:12 PM

        I didn’t say he did. I was referring to him using some of his cash to help fund the movie.

      • jwbiii - Mar 5, 2014 at 3:39 PM

        Sincere apology.

  6. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Mar 5, 2014 at 9:52 AM

    I hope Dunn tried unsuccessfully to woo some young lady at the Oscars. It would seem fitting if he walked the carpet, hit a home run with the movie and struck out with such a young lady at the event.

    • gloccamorra - Mar 5, 2014 at 5:14 PM

      The movie/actors won three Oscars, so credit him with a triple too.

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