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Leftover bits of the Phillies in Clearwater

Mar 6, 2014, 7:00 AM EDT

Screen Shot 2014-03-05 at 10.55.25 PM

I wish I was joking when I say that I spilled water on my keyboard yesterday and now the “r” key on it doesn’t work anymore. But that’s what happened. I’m putting them in via CTRL-V, which makes everything a lot slower. It’s pretty nuts, actually. Weirdest part? When I type the letter “i” it types “ir.” Like the r migrated down the keyboard. I think the water I spilled on it was possessed by evil spirits. Or the computer watched the movie “Electric Dreams” or something.

Anyway, I’ll try to salvage this post as best I can. I have no idea how I’ll write the rest of the day, but we’ll deal with that later.

It was a nice day. As I said the last time I was here back in 2010, Bright House Field is one of the nicest in all of spring training. a great park with a great, beachy-party vibe. Good food. Nice people. Phillies’ employees, from the people in the executive offices to the guys who wipe down the seats, are impossibly polite and make your day at a ballpark as pleasant as can be.

I already posted about my conversation with Gene Garber and the ceremony for Jim Fregosi — and as I said yesterday morning, the clubhouses were closed, so there wasn’t much of a chance to speak to players — so let’s just look at pictures I took. Lord knows the mostly boring game I saw — a 2-2 tie — wasn’t worth too many words.

There are lots of familiar faces on the Phillies spring training staff. Here’s one:


Unfortunately, Chase Utley got the start over him today.




Yes, I eavesdropped. The conversation was not quite as good as a Charlie Manual-Bobby Cox summit meeting likely was back in the day, but you take what you can get.



A year ago, if I told you that all three of these guys would be significant parts of the 2014 Phillies, you’d have told me I was crazy. Abreu was out of the game, Brown was considered a bust and Utley hadn’t played a full season in ages. Yet here they are.



Same goes for Larry Bowa, actually. He seemed done as a coach or manager and was left to TV duties only. He seems invigorated back in uniform. He hit fungoes for what seemed like forever, then pitched batting practice for much longer than you usually see a coach pitch. The man is a machine.



But let’s not kid ourselves. This was my favorite coach on the field yesterday. For obvious reasons. Those reasons being that I am 12-years-old.



I considered it for a second. But c’mon, there’s a reason I look so sad here. I could never purchase Phillies gear.

Bright House Field is home to some serious non-baseball entertainment:


Coolio: you’re sharing a  marquee with a sibling, a cover band and “Black Honkeys.” Maybe it’s time to consider something else to do with your life? Something new?

Eh, who cares. I had all the entertainment I needed:



A cheesesteak and a lager at a ballgame: that’s about as good as it gets.

Now, off to figure out how to be a professional writer without an “r” key.

  1. NatsLady - Mar 6, 2014 at 7:15 AM

    Yeah, “water.” Like I believe that.

    Get thee to Best Buy.

  2. ptfu - Mar 6, 2014 at 7:18 AM

    Craig, you’d better fix that keyboard in the next six months. International Talk Like a Pirate Day is coming, and you’ll need to ARR-ticulate yourself.

    In the meantime, I suppose your spring training posts won’t be R-rated.

    Thanks all, I’ll show myself out, and don’t forget to tip your servers.

  3. dcarroll73 - Mar 6, 2014 at 7:24 AM

    So Craig, I guess you need to adjust your goal – now you aim to be a ‘pofessional wite’? (Or there is that funky Ctrl-V action?) Sorry to hear about your computer mishap. They just don’t make them like they used to (and get off my lawn!)

  4. madnova - Mar 6, 2014 at 7:32 AM

    So why not just hit the “i” key and backspace the “i”?

    • Craig Calcaterra - Mar 6, 2014 at 8:49 AM

      I did that for most of the post, actually.

      • El Bravo - Mar 6, 2014 at 10:47 AM

        Why don’t you just post text without using a multi-syllabic arrangment of items from the alphabet that contain the one piece of said alphabet which precedes “t”? Easy peasy.

      • El Bravo - Mar 6, 2014 at 10:48 AM

        Dammit! Precedes has an “r”. Okay that is tough.

  5. proudlycanadian - Mar 6, 2014 at 7:32 AM

    Condolences on your loss Craig. I once had to scrap a keyboard when the @ key ceased to work.

  6. paperlions - Mar 6, 2014 at 7:38 AM

    Look on the bright side. You have a built in macro: when guys go on IR, you are set….when you need to type chair, eclair, etc., you get to save a key stroke.

  7. thomas844 - Mar 6, 2014 at 7:39 AM

    Don’t worry about your keyboard. If you have a typo in your article, just say that everything was taken out of context. It gets people out of trouble every time!

    • dexterismyhero - Mar 6, 2014 at 12:30 PM

      or just spend $10 on a usb kybd!!!

  8. chiadam - Mar 6, 2014 at 7:48 AM

    They got the actual Coolio and a fake Journey? Is Journey in demand elsewhere?

    • paperlions - Mar 6, 2014 at 8:57 AM

      I would imagine that a Journey cover band may be in more demand than the actual version of Journey.

      • spudchukar - Mar 6, 2014 at 10:48 AM

        Agreed. They could call themselves, Return of a Bad Trip, or something like that.

    • spudchukar - Mar 6, 2014 at 10:51 AM

      Coolio, just played here Saturday. Think about that: Coolio in Central Idaho. Times must be tough.

  9. Chipmaker - Mar 6, 2014 at 7:50 AM

    An Electric Dreams reference! A bow anew before your awesomeness.

  10. themanytoolsofignorance - Mar 6, 2014 at 8:13 AM

    Jamie Lynn Spears? What, did we deport Bieber or something? Lets see a real celebrity. As for Coolio, he was never the same after Weird Al Yankovic got done with him. Slick Rick could do better than Coolio

  11. timmmah10 - Mar 6, 2014 at 8:39 AM

    Great… now I have Gangsta Paradise stuck in my head. FML.

    • nbjays - Mar 6, 2014 at 9:45 AM

      Don’t you mean “Amish Paradise”?

      • natstowngreg - Mar 6, 2014 at 10:45 AM

        + a very large number for Weird Al reference.

    • asimonetti88 - Mar 6, 2014 at 10:52 AM

      Better than me. I have “The Sign” by Ace of Base stuck in my head for some reason.

      • jwbiii - Mar 6, 2014 at 11:58 AM

        I had that problem last night while I was shoveling snow. It went away when I finished, put on slippers, and had a beer.

  12. sometogethernow - Mar 6, 2014 at 8:41 AM

    Turn off your computer, position it so that the keyboard is facing down, and leave it for a day.
    That’s worked to dry out my laptops more than once.
    Going without your computer for a day is definitely going to be less of a pain than having your keyboard be *((*ed up for the long term.

    • NatsLady - Mar 6, 2014 at 8:54 AM

      Or you can just get a wireless keyboard. Works great for me.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Mar 6, 2014 at 8:55 AM

      I did that overnight and it appears to have worked! I have my R back!

  13. RoyHobbs39 - Mar 6, 2014 at 8:44 AM

    I would pay (a little) to see three out of those four acts.

  14. Old Gator - Mar 6, 2014 at 8:50 AM

    That’s two horrible horsemeat and Velveeta™ sandwich photos in four years that you’ve posted here, Craigster. In addition to microsurgery on your keyboard, your mouse is going to need an angioplasty at this rate.

  15. gothapotamus90210 - Mar 6, 2014 at 9:06 AM

    Mickey should’ve traded an Achilles to Ryan Howard for #12

    • gmfw7 - Mar 6, 2014 at 10:56 AM

      since when does ryan howard wear #12? actually, to be honest, i don’t believe any phillie has worn 12 since maybe matt stairs. pretty sure no one is wearing it now. but good try at your joke bud.

      • jwbiii - Mar 6, 2014 at 3:45 PM

        Recent Phillies #12s:

        Humberto Quintero (2013)
        Pete Orr (2013)
        Cody Ransom (2010)
        Matt Stairs (2008-2009)
        T.J. Bohn (2008)
        Tadahito Iguchi (2007)
        Randall Simon (2006)
        Ramon Martinez (2005)
        Ryan Howard (2004)

  16. indaburg - Mar 6, 2014 at 9:47 AM

    Glad you enjoyed your trip to my neck of the woods. Threshers Field is a lovely park. It always pains me that the single A affiliate for the Phillies has a nicer stadium than my major league rooting interest.

    Slick Rick the ruler? You know I’m going that night.

  17. 18thstreet - Mar 6, 2014 at 9:50 AM

    Poor Coolio.

    If I told them once, I told them a thousand times, “Put the band’s name first, puppet show after.”

  18. sportsdrenched - Mar 6, 2014 at 10:04 AM

    I would pay $5 just to say I saw a band called “Black Honkeys”. You know that night and following morning would be the stuff of legend.

  19. natstowngreg - Mar 6, 2014 at 10:46 AM

    Dude, the glasses make you look like Tyler Clippard, with the wrong cap.

  20. tmohr - Mar 6, 2014 at 11:07 AM

    That doesn’t look very lager-ish. What’s the brew?

  21. stlouis1baseball - Mar 6, 2014 at 11:17 AM

    Why would you join the Navy if you didn’t like the gravy and rice?
    Think about it. Think…think…think…think about it.

    • shutdownespn - Mar 6, 2014 at 12:45 PM

      Uh, yeah.

  22. drs76109 - Mar 6, 2014 at 11:18 AM

    I have a spare wireless solar keyboard . It is yours if you wish,…

  23. jwbiii - Mar 6, 2014 at 12:00 PM

    David Butts

  24. bklynbaseball - Mar 6, 2014 at 1:58 PM

    For those of you who’ve never taken in a Threshers game during the minor league season, Bright House Field is probably the best place in all of minor league baseball – for sure it’s the best one in Florida. Great times are had by all. And it’s only 15 minutes from home…….nice…..

  25. macjacmccoy - Mar 6, 2014 at 5:42 PM

    Of course you wear hipster glasses.

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