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Bryce Harper: “giraffes are so legit!”

Mar 14, 2014, 4:23 PM EDT

Every time I write or tweet about Bryce Harper I get a lot of people responding negatively. They hate him for some reason. Or at least he annoys them. I’m not sure how this can annoy anyone:


Before you say anything, yes, it’s a slow news day.  In other news, my friend Jeff Snider is the person who apprised me of this tweet. Here’s how our conversation about it went:

Jeff:  You follow Bryce Harper on Twitter?  Big news in this one:
 me:  Bulls**t. Giraffes are frauds, man.
 Jeff:  Clown opinion, bro. SO legit.
 me:  Agree to disagree here, dude.
er, bro
 Jeff:  Yeah, dude is much more for dudes our age.
 me:  I know. I gotta keep it real. (do people still say “keep it real?”)
So, really, if you’re going to hate someone, hate people like us. We’re awful. Don’t hate Bryce Harper.
  1. asimonetti88 - Mar 14, 2014 at 4:26 PM

    Giraffes are pretty legit.

    • bfunk1978 - Mar 14, 2014 at 4:28 PM

      Too legit to quit?

      • Old Gator - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:31 PM

        Not if they’re the odd giraffe out at the Copenhagen Zoo. Then they go from so legit to deep s**t.

    • 18thstreet - Mar 15, 2014 at 10:30 AM

      I’ve been to that zoo. YOU CAN FEED THE GIRAFFES.

      It’s awesome.

  2. themanytoolsofignorance - Mar 14, 2014 at 4:32 PM

    No. the rare Somali Wild Ass is far more legit than any giraffe. Unless its a Rothschild’s giraffe. Then it has some cred. Otherwise, those things are the height of bogosity

    • historiophiliac - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:02 PM

      Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be over at Snooty Polo Talk or Pro Cricket Chat?

      • themanytoolsofignorance - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:30 PM

        who says I’m not?

      • historiophiliac - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:37 PM

        Thank you for gracing us with your presence.

      • themanytoolsofignorance - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:48 PM

        genuflect when you address me. And no eye contact! you may go

      • historiophiliac - Mar 14, 2014 at 6:07 PM

        Too upper crust for upper case?

      • themanytoolsofignorance - Mar 14, 2014 at 7:00 PM


      • historiophiliac - Mar 14, 2014 at 7:33 PM

        Just like a 1%’er.

  3. shawnuel - Mar 14, 2014 at 4:32 PM

    Harper has been pretty awesome for awhile, now.

    • karlkolchak - Mar 14, 2014 at 7:24 PM

      If he can stay healthy to the point where his performance finally matches his potential and his off the field awesomeness, then he will certainly become One Righteous Dude.

  4. chiadam - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:03 PM

    Must be a slow ne…. oh, never mind.

  5. baseballisboring - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:08 PM

    There’s nothing about his statement that I would fundamentally disagree with.

  6. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:13 PM

    Holden Caufiled clicks “thumbs down” on all of this.

  7. janessa31888 - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:14 PM

    I agree, Bryce. Giraffes are legit. Zebras are questionable.

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:34 PM

      I don’t think it is so black and white.

      • historiophiliac - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:54 PM

        This debate is a boar.

      • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:59 PM

        I gnu it wouldn’t be easy.

      • bisonaudit - Mar 14, 2014 at 6:06 PM

        Zebra’s are nasty pieces of work. Strict top down social structure. If you step out of line you get kicked in the face.

      • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Mar 14, 2014 at 6:10 PM

        If man had domesticated zebras instead of horses, would UPC scanners have been invented hundreds of years earlier?

      • historiophiliac - Mar 14, 2014 at 6:31 PM

        Are you saying zebras are capitalists? Hmmm, maybe they *are* sketchy.

  8. illuminancer - Mar 14, 2014 at 5:18 PM

    As a fan of Brandon Belt, I endorse this sentiment.

  9. scatterbrian - Mar 14, 2014 at 6:34 PM

    “It’s got it ups and downs. You can’t deny the view, though.”

  10. realgone2 - Mar 14, 2014 at 7:36 PM

    mind numbing

  11. American of African Descent - Mar 14, 2014 at 7:44 PM

    Giraffes are also Kosher, in case anyone is looking for something different to serve on Shabbat.

  12. jaylaw01 - Mar 14, 2014 at 9:22 PM

    But what about African Swallows….?

  13. ajonesmc931 - Mar 15, 2014 at 1:02 AM

    Stop trying to convince us not to hate Harper..guys a tool bag

    • dillongeeescapeplan - Mar 15, 2014 at 8:45 AM

      What the hell has Harper done to deserve as much scorn as he’s gotten? He blew a kiss to a pitcher in the minors a few years ago? Big deal.

      • yahmule - Mar 15, 2014 at 12:30 PM

        Some people can’t get over the fact that he had an enormous ego as a teenager. I’m sure they would have handled being on the cover of SI @ 16 with perfect grace and humility. He’s actually pretty well adjusted considering the way he was raised. Dad is a real piece of work.

  14. csiegert4 - Mar 16, 2014 at 12:46 AM

    It’s just a stupid comment. I couldn’t actually take someone seriously who talks like that, but it’s whatever. It’s quite easy to see why people don’t like him much though; extremely arrogant, and plays the game like a complete dbag.

    • stlouis1baseball - Mar 17, 2014 at 9:19 AM

      “Plays the game like a complete dbag.” Seriously?
      Playing the game balls out every minute you are on the field is dbag like?
      Odd. I call this a breath of fresh air. I call this exciting. I also see him as someone who raises the bar for everyone else on the team. “Plays the game like a dbag.” Hahahaha!

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