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They’re selling giant, American-sized hot dogs at the games in Sydney

Mar 21, 2014, 8:53 AM EDT

One of my favorite recent discoveries is that people in other countries throw “America parties” in which they dress up, act and consume food and beverages in ways that they think Americans do. Or, more likely, in an effort to parody what Americans do. Either way, it’s pretty hilarious seeing people form Finland or wherever holding red Solo cups (they REALLY love the Solo cups), eating popcorn and cheeseburgers, wearing NBA jerseys and generally acting like hilarious U.S. cliches.

I feel like that same impulse is at work at the baseball games in Australia. Behold: the All-American Super Dog, being sold at the Dbacks-Dodgers games in Sydney:

How dare they mock and stereotype U.S. tastes like that!

[starts sending emails to all of the ballparks here in a desperate effort to get them to start selling them here]

  1. cur'68 - Mar 21, 2014 at 8:58 AM

    They butter those buns, y’know. You practically have to put an Aussie in a head lock and threaten his life to get him to NOT butter up the hot dog bun. That and frying a perfectly good tomato. An inexplicable people if you ask me.

    • chacochicken - Mar 21, 2014 at 9:04 AM

      I’ve always considered them British hillbillies. Sort of like if Kentucky and West Virginia were their own continent (and everything is poisonous, and they’re all surfers)

      • cur'68 - Mar 21, 2014 at 9:08 AM

        Not a bad comparison, actually. They’re brave as f***, will fight anyone, and brew anything into alcohol; tres Hillbilly.

      • chiadam - Mar 21, 2014 at 9:45 AM

        And they box kangaroos, and wear necklaces made of shark teeth. We know.

      • blabidibla - Mar 21, 2014 at 9:55 AM

        Well, the country was populated through the British penal system. Much like another country we all know and love.

      • Old Gator - Mar 21, 2014 at 2:56 PM

        Yes, and those “hillbillies” got rid of their homophobic military recruitment practices about 15 years before the US military did, passed laws recognizing aboriginal rights and vacating the “terra nullius” doctrine whites used to seize aboriginal land while we still make Native Americans slug their way through our constipated legal system for every hectare of stolen earth, recognized and instituted health care rights decades before we did while our right-wing slugs and cretins continue to sabotage and stall the implementation of even our minimally inclusive one, and they recognized that their foul-tasting kangaroos were basically good for dog food or feeding to clueless tourists while we still go around thinking they’re either cute or delicious.

        Some hillbillies.

      • Reflex - Mar 22, 2014 at 2:38 AM

        Gator – To be fair, the US is still far ahead of AU on gender equality, although I agree about most of the rest of your statement. Misogyny is practically a state sport there, and you have to loooove the new Prime Minister’s statements on women..

    • stlouis1baseball - Mar 21, 2014 at 10:41 AM

      I love tomoato’s. But can’t stomach them cooked. I don’t like them in stew, spaghetti sauce, chili, etc… Something about the taste after cooking them. I also don’t like them fried. Green or otherwise. But I absolutely love them on a grill, holed out, with smidgeon of olive oil in the bottom and filled to the rim with shredded parmesan cheese. With a dash of oregano on top for aesthetics. Warning…you have to stay on top of them because they will stick and fall apart. Still good…but not as appealing to the eye. So you must rotate them about every 3 minutes. Tongs and a spatula work best.

      • El Bravo - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:09 PM

        “I love tomoato’s. But can’t stomach them cooked. I don’t like them in stew, spaghetti sauce, chili, etc”

        I knew there was something off about you….

      • stlouis1baseball - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:41 PM

        Lol! Guilty as charged. I have always beat to my own drum Bravo. I was the 1st (and only) dude in my high school to wear Red Tennis Shoes (Reeboks). Not an issue in today’s world. But way back in 1989-1990 this was un-heard of! Ha! I still have those tennis shoes and they are still in great shape.

      • El Bravo - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:52 PM

        20+ yr tennis shoes? I’m impressed. I’m not sure I own anything that old in my closet.

      • Old Gator - Mar 21, 2014 at 2:58 PM

        st.louis, I don’t know how to break the news to you, but, despite all appearances, that is not a larva in your tomato.

      • stlouis1baseball - Mar 21, 2014 at 3:16 PM

        Hahaha! And once again…I have no idea as to what the hell you are talking about. But that’s not a bad thing. If it ever starts making sense to me…I will then start worrying. Wait! Does it help if I like caviar, mushrooms, hog-fries, chitlins and oysters?

      • Old Gator - Mar 21, 2014 at 4:32 PM

        Tell me, do you like…oysters?

        - Lawrence Olivier to Tony Curtis in Spartacus

    • historiophiliac - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:51 PM

      Wait, what? No tomato-frying?

  2. thedoubleentandres - Mar 21, 2014 at 9:40 AM

    Do you want the $36 hot dog or the large?

    Well my US friends, when you take something as chic as a croissant and turn it into a croissandwich you don’t really have a leg to stand on here :)

    • sabatimus - Mar 21, 2014 at 9:51 AM

      Ok, this comment is hard to top.

    • The Dangerous Mabry - Mar 21, 2014 at 10:09 AM

      I guess it doesn’t make it better if I mention we’ve also turned the croissant into the cronut, does it?

      • 4d3fect - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:26 PM

        You left out the cragel.

        *walks into the corner, sulks*

      • historiophiliac - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:52 PM

        Pretzel dogs!

  3. zengreaser - Mar 21, 2014 at 9:41 AM

    I bet you go into rage spirals though if Americans parody other cultures. #doublestandard

    • rbj1 - Mar 21, 2014 at 10:07 AM

      But that’s not funny!
      /sarc

      I’ve got no problem with Willie the Groundskeeper on the Simpsons even though my great uncle and namesake went back to the old sod and fought and died in WWI. I just wish everyone else had a sense of humor.

  4. chiadam - Mar 21, 2014 at 9:42 AM

    We can only hope and aspire to be as sophisticated and modern as the Australians.

  5. bitlrc - Mar 21, 2014 at 9:53 AM

    I feel like, if Americans had a “Japanese party” or something similar mocking another culture, Craig would be be on his soapbox within seconds, spewing enough righteous indignation to make Michael Moore blush

    • chacochicken - Mar 21, 2014 at 10:12 AM

      Maybe you worry about Craig too much.

      • stlouis1baseball - Mar 21, 2014 at 10:32 AM

        Chicken:
        He may worry about CC to much. But if you are being honest…you know he is right.

      • chacochicken - Mar 21, 2014 at 11:33 AM

        I can’t speak for Craig but I really doubt he’d care if you and your pals put on Hello Kitty back packs, carried around bento boxes and manga while wearing your favorite Ham Fighters hat.

        Now you are assuming that by making fun of “Americans” they mean white Americans. So I think you might be bringing race into the equation here. If you decided to be the Mickey Rooney buck toothed glasses wearing yellow-menace Japanese stereotype that would exactly be cool. Really, you are making an apples to oranges comparison.

      • stlouis1baseball - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:53 PM

        Three things:
        I never assume anything as doing so quickly makes one look like a fool.
        I do enough things on my own that make me look foolish so I try to limit the opportunities.

        I hadn’t really thought about it. But since you brought it up I would lean towards the white American side of things. I mean…it has to be likely. Otherwise, it would be blatant racism…right? I don’t know. Maybe he just has a bad case of white guilt.

        I am making no comparisons. I am only stating that I agree with bitlrc in that CC would be all over someone like a 2nd shirt should they have a party mocking someone of another culture.

        Regardless…please know your posts never fail to make me laugh. I literally laughed out loud at the Hello Kitty, bento box, manga image.

        Go Ham Fighters!

      • stlouis1baseball - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:56 PM

        Sorry Chaco…I see you weren’t responding to me. I apologize.

    • sandwiches4ever - Mar 21, 2014 at 11:35 AM

      If you don’t understand the differences between positions of power and privilege, and how that can make two similar things vastly different, you might consider that hypocritical. I wouldn’t.

      • bitlrc - Mar 21, 2014 at 11:54 AM

        I wouldn’t consider Japan to be appreciably different from the US in terms of power and privilege. But I’m not well schooled on the subject. You could be right.

    • bitlrc - Mar 21, 2014 at 12:03 PM

      @chicken

      There is no such thing as an apples to apples comparison, unless you are comparing 2 apples that have been genetically modofied to be identical. And even then their growing and harvest conditions must have been identical in order for the comparison to work perfectly.

      Craig said he loved America parties. I’m saying he would hate it if the situation were reversed. For the sake of an internet message board, I think the analogy is apt. We’re not splitting the atom here.

      • historiophiliac - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:47 PM

        In this case, the reverse would be people in the US having an Australian party — not a Japanese party (which, yes, would be fraught with problems because we have a problem with racial issues towards the Japanese in the past [cough internment cough]). I doubt very much if Craig would object if we had a party for the opener and served Fosters and walked around calling each other “mate” and stuff like that — because there wouldn’t be a racial or offensive jingoistic tone to it. That’s the difference.

        FYI, I’m totally going to call y’all “mate” and make Crocodile Dundee references all day on the 22nd now…

    • bitlrc - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:59 PM

      @historio

      Craig said he loved that “people in other countries” have america parties. The reverse of that is an american having an “other country” party. Japan is another country.

      • historiophiliac - Mar 21, 2014 at 2:31 PM

        If you’d clicked on the link, you would’ve seen that there were no pictures of Japanese people having American parties. In fact, most of it was white people joking about American pop culture, which does make a difference. BTW, the tone means everything here — and you’d have to be mindful of how you did it so as not to make it racially offensive if you were having a party that has a race factor to it (I can’t think of how to word that better, but meh). It depends on how you do it and if it was done insultingly, yes, I think we’d be upset.

  6. stlouis1baseball - Mar 21, 2014 at 10:31 AM

    $36.32? $36.32? 36 sonofabitchin’ dollars and 32 cents?

    • ch0psuey - Mar 21, 2014 at 11:07 AM

      I could see 12-15$ but ya $36 is absurd.

    • wjarvis - Mar 21, 2014 at 12:29 PM

      I’m guessing since $36.32 US dollars is exactly $40.00 Australian Dollars that it’s actually more expensive. I’m not sure I want to know how much a beer costs, since it’s usually pretty expensive in Australia.

  7. 6kings - Mar 21, 2014 at 11:28 AM

    We all know how much Aussie’s mate.

  8. stevequinn - Mar 21, 2014 at 11:28 AM

    Aren’t the Diamondbacks preparing to sell a $25 hot dog? Who is copying who here?

    • einjzmolf - Mar 21, 2014 at 1:09 PM

      The rangers sold a $26 hot dog last year

      • Old Gator - Mar 21, 2014 at 3:07 PM

        One of the local mass murderer pals of the team’s former figurehead ex-ecutives must have thrown a baseball party for his Carlyle Group collaborators that afternoon.

  9. Pat Richardson - Mar 21, 2014 at 11:50 AM

    These colors don’ run.

    • ptfu - Mar 21, 2014 at 4:11 PM

      Only if they’re pre-washed! Otherwise skip the hot water.

  10. Old Gator - Mar 21, 2014 at 3:04 PM

    The French have been selling humongous hot dogs in crusty bread slathered with Dijon moutarde and melted, crunchy-topped Gruyere cheese for millennia. You can get them from carts in Paris, or stop by the park off the Rue des Changes two blocks cattycorner to the south of the front entrance of Chartres cathedral where there’s a stand that’s famous for them – for a damned sigh less money that $36 freaking dollars.

    • chiadam - Mar 21, 2014 at 3:58 PM

      Sacre bleu!!

  11. Amazin'Aussie - Mar 22, 2014 at 6:37 AM

    And we’re the hillbillies…

    http://mobile.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/american-news-networks-screw-up-their-geography-and-call-tony-abbott-prime-minister-john-abbot/story-fnizu68q-1226861047746

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