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Great Moments in Puig Derangement Syndrome

Mar 31, 2014, 7:50 AM EDT

Plaschke

Unless and until Yasiel Puig is ever talked and written about as a normal human being instead of some scary monster which portends dread and personifies all of our darkest fears, we’re gonna start handing out awards. With apologies to Charles Krauthammer, who coined the term Bush Derangement Syndrome, our awards will commemorate Great Moments in Yasiel Puig Derangement Syndrome.

The definition of Puig Derangement Syndrome:  “the acute onset of paranoia in otherwise normal people in reaction to the play, the acts —nay—the very existence of Yasiel Puig.” Statements of criticism of Yasiel Puig which appear to be of an emotional origin rather than based in fact or logic.

While some may say this should be called the Plaschke Award for Los Angeles Times’ columnist Bill Plaschke’s perfection of the form, in reality, CBS’ Scott Miller is the gold standard here. That was All-Star work, while Plaschke’s Puig Derangement is more of the lunch bucket variety. He puts in the time and will even be sure to lash out at Puig even when he doesn’t have his best stuff. You gotta respect that kind of dedication.

Today is a great example, as his Puig Derangement operates on two different fronts in one single column. First, he uses his game story to note Puig’s shortcomings in last night’s game, despite the fact that Puig did nothing of consequence, good or bad, that even came remotely close to affecting the outcome of the game:

One of the few familiar sights at Petco was the play of Yasiel Puig, who encapsulated his 2013 struggles in the first inning alone, striking out wildly on three pitches and then overthrowing the cutoff man from right field.

Carl Crawford struck out three times and Andre Ethier twice, but I guess those weren’t as bad as Puig’s one strikeout. And that throw that missed the cutoff man arguably could have gotten the runner heading to third had Hanley Ramirez not intercepted it, but we’ll let that go. We have a narrative to pound. Perhaps as many as a thousand times!

That alone would not have gotten Plaschke notice for his Puig Derangement Syndrome, however. For that we have to keep reading:

In more Puig news — can there ever be enough? — there has been clarification on a report last week that Mattingly called a team meeting about Puig. Actually, it was Puig who summoned several players hanging around the clubhouse and asked them if anybody had a problem with the way he played.

One veteran spoke up. Then another. Both had the same problem, that Puig was playing too fast and loose with their championship hopes.

There is no sign yet that he has listened, but at least on this night, the losing story revolved around the older guys.

This is Plaschke backing off his column of last week in which he talked about how “Don Mattingly held a meeting” in which Puig was lectured by his manager and team veterans about his recklessness. As we noted yesterday, however, the real story was that Puig himself called that meeting in order to ask his teammates how he could get better. Now that the meeting tends to put Puig in a better light, however, it’s no longer a meeting to Plaschke. It’s an informal thing in which Puig basically shouted at veterans “asking them if they had a problem” with him, which is clearly designed to make Puig look belligerent and confrontational. Guys like Puig don’t have meetings, you see. They summon people and put them uncomfortably on the spot. And, of course, it is assumed that he didn’t listen to them.

Excellent work, Bill. Keep this up and we may just name Great Moments in Puig Derangement Syndrome the “Bill Plaschke Awards” after all!

  1. campcouch - Mar 31, 2014 at 7:56 AM

    A-Rod is gone for the year and Bonds isn’t formally working for the Giants…people need a villain.ficticious or real. Puig must be it,because he stands on Old Man Mattingly’s lawn lol.

    • baberuthslegs - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:05 AM

      Or Plaschke needs readers so he trolls. If he was in politics we’d call him a demagogue. I have at times been concerned by Puig’s play (last season) but his game last night was nothing to complain about.

      • nomoreliesfortoday - Mar 31, 2014 at 10:57 AM

        eh….Harper or Puig it all depends if you hate super-talented arrogant rich white kids or super talented arrogant rich non white kids.

  2. chacochicken - Mar 31, 2014 at 7:57 AM

    Bill Plaschke stole my Backfire Effect. He is arguing with clocks, dogs, and small children.

  3. renaado - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:04 AM

    Now they’re making up a syndrome about Puig? Seriously, this needs to stop now…

  4. deadeyedesign23 - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:08 AM

    I can’t tell if this blog is about baseball or other reporters anymore.

    • renaado - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:12 AM

      Dunno, Just as long it is Baseball related it’s alright for me. But this “Plachke” guy is seriously goin too far now..

      • rdanie29 - Mar 31, 2014 at 4:56 PM

        and yet Calcaterra makes damn sure that we know every bad thing written about Puig. One idiot is as bad as the other.

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:14 AM

      Did you miss all the other stories that have been posted in the last 24 hours? ATH, last team preview, etc?

  5. thetoolsofignorance - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:09 AM

    Bill Plaschke-

    I am so sick of this windbag. He writes for the sake of creating news rather than reporting it. He colors his “analysis” with his opinions and make the story suit his world views rather than the facts. Along with Miller, they are an embittered sacks of human human failure if you ask me. It was people like them who “advised” me when I was a young man no older than Puig is now.

    A word to all you young people- when some old bloviating martinet is telling you to “grow up” and “act like a man” what they really mean is “do what I want how I want and for me”. Be really careful of anyone trying to shame you into behaving a certain way where the rules of comportment are arbitrary. You could wind up damaging your life so some sack of failure can say they told you how its done. Fact twisting like Plaschke engages in a sure sign of one of these damaging morons. Often the behavior they want of you isn’t behavior they themselves would engage in if given a chance.

    • 18thstreet - Mar 31, 2014 at 12:19 PM

      In Peter Pan, Tinkerbell exists as long as you believe. On the sports pages, Plascke and his ilk exist as long as they get clicks. And they do get clicks.

      I hate it, and I don’t blame Craig for linking to it. But the average reader apparently loves to read things that tick him off. Plascke is just filling a void.

  6. alexo0 - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:16 AM

    I’m from Canada (Winnipeg). The media that covers the NHL team here has their own players they love to rip on (however irrationally). Coincidently, they are also the only two non-caucasion players on the team. Also coincidently, they’ve been criticized for a lack of effort and/or smarts.

    • 18thstreet - Mar 31, 2014 at 12:20 PM

      Are the thumbs-down just because the guy is from Canada?

  7. 4d3fect - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:27 AM

    “otherwise normal people” referring to..to..Plaschke?
    ..

    ok then.

  8. thedoubleentandres - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:27 AM

    He’s the ballplayer we need…not the one we deserve

  9. jm91rs - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:27 AM

    ”the acute onset of paranoia in otherwise normal people in reaction to the play, the acts —nay—the very existence of Yasiel Puig.”

    -I’m pretty sure the “otherwise normal people” part of that definition eliminates Bill Plaschke from the conversation. When Jay Mariotti went and got himself arrested, Bill Plaschke realized he could be the new American Sports talking head villain. His writing seems to be more negative from that point on as well. He’s clearly doing whatever he can to troll people. I’m sure he takes great pleasure in Craig’s almost daily mention of him lately.

  10. beepbeepbeeplgb - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:57 AM

    fwiw I thought puig maybe could have gotten him at third if Hanley let that go. not saying for sure but for Bill to react this way is ridiculous.

  11. NYTolstoy - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:58 AM

    I’m no fan of puig but come on Bill…that throw was perfect and a rocket. If Ramirez didn’t cut it off it would of been an out or atleast very very close. Even Ramirez looked embarrassed for cutting it off.

  12. djandujar - Mar 31, 2014 at 8:59 AM

    People should just chill out. It’s just a stupid game. Puig can play it better than any old fuddy-duddy honkey sportswriter. It seems like another case of good-old-boy BS hating on black & Latino players.

  13. sfm073 - Mar 31, 2014 at 9:14 AM

    I sure wish I could read your opinions on baseball instead of bill plaschke.

  14. babyfarkmcgeezax - Mar 31, 2014 at 9:46 AM

    Craig sees Suey Park’s faux outrage over Stephen Colbert and raises it with his faux outrage over Bill Plaschke

  15. xpensivewinos - Mar 31, 2014 at 10:28 AM

    Who give a sh** what some irrelevant douche like Bill Plaschke has to say. It’s just vogue now to rip Puig……until the next thing else comes along.

    Not sure who the right combination of former players would be…….maybe it’s Roberto Alomar or Tony Perez or Edgar Martinez or Pedro Martinez. But if i were the Dodgers, I would think about hiring former Latin/Cuban players (who Puig may bond with quicker) and let them school him on the finer points of the game. Well respected players/Hall-of-Famers who were great players due in part to their baseball acumen.

    Teams have bench coaches and multiple hitting coaches and all kinds of things these days. Why not pick the brains of former great players to help your team’s baseball instincts?

    Unless people within the Dodgers organization are sitting down with Puig to teach him and have “chalk talk” sessions with him on a daily basis, his erratic play is on them at this point.

  16. holliswatson - Mar 31, 2014 at 10:49 AM

    Never apologize to Charles Krauthammer.

    • recoveringcubsfan - Mar 31, 2014 at 11:42 AM

      This is spot on. Craig referenced Charles Krauthammer without adding, “speaking of douchebags…” Who is deranged, I ask you?

  17. dillongeeescapeplan - Mar 31, 2014 at 11:10 AM

    Can we please just stop bringing up that page hit whoring hack?

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