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There is a shortage of $25, 18-inch corn dogs in Arizona

Apr 2, 2014, 5:45 PM EDT

Corn Dog

This is who we are now. As a people, this is who we are:

Sales of the Arizona Diamondbacks’ $25 corn dog have been so brisk that the team’s concessionaires can’t wait for a week-long road trip that starts Friday so that they can prep enough to be ready for the team’s April 11-13 homestand against the Los Angeles Dodgers . . . The 18-inch corn dog, called the D-Bat, is stuffed with cheddar cheese, jalapenos and bacon and is served with a side of fries.

The team says that they sold 300 of them on Opening Night but that they only sold 100 during Game 2 because they ran out. They literally can’t make them fast enough for the ravenous appetites of America’s baseball fans.

This is what it’s like to eat one:

Here’s the narrative of that video.

I think it’s time for us all to take a long hard look in the mirror, America. We, as a people, need to take a long hard look in the mirror.

 

  1. pinkfloydprism - Apr 2, 2014 at 5:46 PM

    If we look too long we will die of the massive heart attack that we have coming because of food like this.

  2. johnnysoda - Apr 2, 2014 at 5:48 PM

    I’m sure it’s only because it’s new, so people would naturally want to try it. I doubt in July, sales will be that brisk.

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Apr 2, 2014 at 6:05 PM

      July + Arizona + jalapenos = NOPENOPENOPE

  3. dowhatifeellike - Apr 2, 2014 at 5:50 PM

    *checks diet plan* yep, I can get one of those… provided I eat nothing for three days beforehand.

  4. Pat Richardson - Apr 2, 2014 at 5:52 PM

    After looking in the mirror, most will probably then ask if they could get the huge-assed corn dog in a dorito taco shell.

  5. tfbuckfutter - Apr 2, 2014 at 5:56 PM

    How can there be a “shortage” of something when the supply of it should be 0?

  6. historiophiliac - Apr 2, 2014 at 6:14 PM

    They say you will eat less if you eat in front of a mirror, so maybe we should look at ourselves here.

    Relatedly, my bathroom scales died — go ahead and crack your jokes, pinheads — and I went shopping for new ones yesterday. Walgreens and CVS both had an aisle of candy but only 1 set of bathroom scales (and they were glass/pricey-ish). Literally, they both had a better selection of flat irons than bathroom scales — and they are in the health care industry. With that kind of access, it’s no wonder the rate of obesity is so high where I live.

    • tfbuckfutter - Apr 2, 2014 at 6:32 PM

      Yeah, almost like Hobby Lobby’s hypocrisy in claiming one thing while profiting off the exact opposite, eh?

    • dowhatifeellike - Apr 3, 2014 at 10:14 AM

      They tend to specialize in health care supplies that are covered by insurance/medicare/medicaid. Everything else is an afterthought because money.

  7. nsstlfan - Apr 2, 2014 at 6:29 PM

    $25 for a hot dog. Really people what else are you going to pay ungodly prices for? Oh wait all ball park concessions are ungodly priced.

  8. hildezero - Apr 2, 2014 at 6:44 PM

    Nothing to worry about here. Sales will drop by summertime when less people attend the games. Of course on Opening Day they sold a lot, but that doesn’t mean they’ll sell that amount consistently throughout the season. I would like to have one of those right now actually.

  9. thomas844 - Apr 2, 2014 at 6:48 PM

    How do we know there aren’t families of 4 or 5 sharing them?

    • jcmeyer10 - Apr 2, 2014 at 7:23 PM

      *He loudly announces to the line as he walks away with one* Just busting your hump. Hopefully a couple people are sharing one.

      Lady and the Tramp style in 2014.

      • thomas844 - Apr 2, 2014 at 8:30 PM

        Lol! Lady and the Tramp style is good, but anyone who does that should be ready for a kiss filled with cheese, jalapeno, and bacon!

      • historiophiliac - Apr 2, 2014 at 9:15 PM

        thomas says that like it’s a bad thing.

  10. strictlythedanks - Apr 2, 2014 at 7:12 PM

    Looks the same going down as it does coming out.

  11. rbj1 - Apr 2, 2014 at 7:41 PM

    Sniff, I have never been so proud of my country.

    • historiophiliac - Apr 2, 2014 at 10:14 PM

      Before your chest bursts and all, I’ll point out that to make Canadians guests happy, the Tigers have introduced a poutine dog at the park this year.

      /shudder

      • stex52 - Apr 3, 2014 at 9:33 AM

        Well, that killed my appetite for the day.

  12. lingerie00yardsale - Apr 2, 2014 at 7:48 PM

    The fattening of the Diamonbacks fan continues.

  13. nsauser - Apr 2, 2014 at 8:12 PM

    I heard the dogs were discontinued because they weren’t gritty enough. Expect them to be traded within the week.

  14. metalhead65 - Apr 2, 2014 at 10:53 PM

    this is one of the reasons we go to the ballpark. we know it’s not healthy but get real it is not as if normal people eat these all the time. we go to the ballpark to have fun and eating junk food and drinking a beer is part of it. I do not go to eat healthy food or food that is good for me. it is my body and if I want to eat unhealthy I will and do not need you self righteous health nuts telling me what is good for me.

  15. chiadam - Apr 3, 2014 at 12:07 AM

    America, f**k yeah!!

  16. mikhelb - Apr 3, 2014 at 12:24 AM

    Just 200 in the first day with an attendance of how many? 30,000+? Just a small percentage of people is willing to buy that monstrosity, and perhaps those 200 things were sold to a bunch of people buying 2 or more. Assuming 1 per customer, 200 customers in a say 30,000 attendance, gives us 1 person from every 150 willing to buy that… whatever is called. I bet that if we pick 150 random persons we’ll have at least one who does something we qualify as anormal.

  17. seanwasamarine - Apr 3, 2014 at 12:50 AM

    Indulging once for a baseball game isn’t that big of a deal you idiots. If you don’t like the fact the hotdog is so big, don’t eat it. No one is going to force you. This is America…and if someone wants to stuff their face, they should be free to do so without someone lecturing them why they shouldn’t.

  18. campcouch - Apr 3, 2014 at 2:47 AM

    This is why the Cold War ended. Nuclear weapons are for any fool,but only in a America can you charge $25 for something you can make at home for about seven bucks,but you are authorized to eat it in a public setting. Pure calories baby!

  19. zukith - Apr 3, 2014 at 10:34 AM

    There is a shortage of $25, 18-inch corn dogs on my desk in front of me right now.

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