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The Secret Service was prepared to kill Mr. Met

Apr 18, 2014, 8:33 AM EDT

Screen Shot 2014-04-18 at 8.31.33 AM

A guy named AJ Mass wore the Mr. Met costume at Shea Stadium from 1994-97. He just wrote a memoir called “Yes, It’s Hot in Here — Adventures in the Weird, Wooly World of Sports Mascots.” In it, he reveals that in 1997, President Clinton visited Shea. Mass wanted to meet him, but the secret service was concerned about security because, let’s face it, you can put anything in a giant baseball head.

And they warned him: 

“We have snipers all around the stadium, just in case something were to happen,” the agent warned. “Like I said, do whatever it is you normally do. But approach the President, and we go for the kill shot. Are we clear?”

Nah, thats not extreme. Not extreme at all.

As the Daily News story recounting this shows, however, Mr. Met did finally get his chance to get close to Bill, but it was (a) several years after he left office; and (b) a different dude wearing the Mr. Met getup. So sad.

  1. fleaman1381 - Apr 18, 2014 at 8:44 AM

    This is ridiculously funny to me this morning.

    • metroplexsouthsider - Apr 18, 2014 at 12:42 PM

      Also, as a newspaper editor myself, my hat is off to the headline; it’s a great one.

  2. Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 8:46 AM

    Gabriel García Márquez couldn’t have written that story any better. With no Feesh game last night I was left to contemplate the enormity of his loss, and then, this morning, this story comes along – idiotica magico as only beisbol and American politics could engender it. Gabo, like Mr. Mutt, lives on.

    • sdelmonte - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:08 AM

      I have never read anything by Marquez, sad to say. What is a good place to start?

      • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 11:24 AM

        Love in the Time of Cholera is a great one, but for me, it all begins and ends with One Hundred years of Solitude. As wonderful as just about all of his novels are, that one is in a class by itself. There’s a reason why the only two other books in Spanish to sell more copies are Done Quixote and the Bible.Only one way to find out what that is.

      • groupofsevenrules - Apr 18, 2014 at 11:55 AM

        I agree. That is his greatest work. It was so good that I read it three times over the years and it made me want to learn Spanish. It’s one of those books you can spend a blizzard night in northern Alberta reading by the fire and make the evening perfect. You also laugh your arse off. I envy the Gator that he can read it in the original language. Some of those verb tense constructions must be funnier than they even seem to be in English. By all means, that’s where you start with Marquez. And I too agree: the loss is enormous. I heard on the car radio that they’re having an official mourning period in Colombia and talking about making his birthday a national holiday.

      • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 12:02 PM

        “Muchos años después, frente al pelotón de fusilamiento, el coronel Aureliano Buendía había de recordar aquella tarde remota en que su padre lo llevó a conocer el hielo. Macondo era entonces una aldea de 20 casas de barro y cañabrava construidas a la orilla de un río de aguas diáfanas que se precipitaban por un lecho de piedras pulidas, blancas y enormes como huevos prehistóricos. El mundo era tan reciente, que muchas cosas carecían de nombre, y para mencionarlas había que señalarlas con el dedo”.”

    • unclemosesgreen - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:47 AM

      I am quite partial to Love in the Time of Cholera and yes, his loss is immense.

      Just finishing the Border Trilogy, perfesesr. The other day a friend was telling me about a psychopath he knew in his youth, and the guy liked to throw birdseed to attract seagulls and then drive his car through the flock at a high rate of speed, how crazy it was, what a mess it made. I, in turn, told him the story of the jackrabbit grille on Troy’s Oldsmobile. What a visual.

      • groupofsevenrules - Apr 18, 2014 at 11:40 AM

        I liked the wind and the chickens joke. Nice episode of dog roping in there too….The Crossing will always be my favorite of the Trilogy, though.

      • unclemosesgreen - Apr 18, 2014 at 2:39 PM

        One day the wind stopped blowing and all of the chickens fell over sideways. Lol.

        The Crossing was excellent. I’m enjoying Cities of the Plain though.

  3. chargrz - Apr 18, 2014 at 8:47 AM

    It’s Bush’s fault.

    • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 8:54 AM

      No, this was during Clinton’s presidency. It only became Bush’s fault three years later. That it is still Bush’s fault ought to tell you something about what a grotesque putz he was.

      • barrywhererufrom - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:47 AM

        Sad think old jackass you really believe this. This disaster of adminstration can do no wrong and its still Bush’s fault when they screw up.

      • unclemosesgreen - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:49 AM

        I too set down and had me a sad think a while back. Did me a power of good in the end.

      • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 11:20 AM

        There are moments when the depths of poor dim Barry’s uncomprehending idiocy gives me vertigo.

        That you ackcherley took seriously what would have been obvious as a joke to nearly any other moron is beside the point. You’re a very special moron. Regardless, “Bush’s fault” is a law of nature. It will be generations before any administration will be able to dig us out from the mess he made, such an utter catastrophe was his stolen administration.

    • chargrz - Apr 18, 2014 at 6:01 PM

      Sarcasm!

  4. thomas844 - Apr 18, 2014 at 8:56 AM

    Mr. Redlegs better watch his back. They might think he is Mr. Met in disguise…….

  5. thedoubleentandres - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:03 AM

    24: Season 15

    Jack Bauer goes undercover to infiltrate a group of terrorist mascots who plan to strap a nuke to Hank the Dog for the presidents visit to a Milwaukee Brewers game

    • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:07 AM

      That should be Jeb Bush by then. I’m cool with Hank getting a flat en route to the stadium – just to stir the pot a little.

    • unclemosesgreen - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:53 AM

      Hank the Dog?? Genius. My full attention would have been on the Racing Bratwurst, that guy looks shifty.

      • historiophiliac - Apr 18, 2014 at 10:30 AM

        You can never trust sausage.

      • unclemosesgreen - Apr 18, 2014 at 10:32 AM

        And that chorizo guy – he races with too much flair – no respect for the bland sausage racing traditions.

      • historiophiliac - Apr 18, 2014 at 10:32 AM

        Oh, yeah, the food too.

      • unclemosesgreen - Apr 18, 2014 at 10:49 AM

        Lol – oh, that sausage. Well yeah, that too.

      • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 3:19 PM

        Ackcherley, William Gibson’s cyberbunk masterpiece Count Zero featured an android dog full of flaked nitroglycerine called a slamhound. It could be programmed to sniff out a target, in this particular case a private detective named Turner, run up to him and detonate automatically. But because he had a good agent, he had a good contract. And because he had a good contract, he got pieced back together at his employer’s expense….

      • unclemosesgreen - Apr 18, 2014 at 3:56 PM

        Turner was lucky that Hooch didn’t blow up the rest of him.

  6. ggallin4evr - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:08 AM

    Liberal media does it again

    • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 3:22 PM

      Yep, leaving you sitting there like a typical tea party drone with your thumbs up your behind expectorating unreflective right wing sound bites utterly devoid of meaning or reference.

    • unclearnie - Apr 18, 2014 at 4:53 PM

      Want to know about the liberal media? Read this

      http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/08/07/1229087/-15-things-everyone-would-know-if-there-were-a-liberal-media

      • groupofsevenrules - Apr 18, 2014 at 5:27 PM

        Heh, yeah. That and the fact that @ggallin referrs to the New York Pestillence as the liberal media. I think the right wingers on this blog ought to start a competitive game show called “Duncing with the Stars.” Poor dim Barry is just too championship grade clueless to be allowed fairly to compete, so they could make him a judge.

      • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 5:38 PM

        Heh heh, it’s The Daily New but your point is still well taken. It’s just another trashy tabloid remnant of a once important newspaper. Once the spirit of Rupert Murdoch begins to infest your presses, you’re printing and selling garbage and addressing yourself to the trailer park crowd no matter what your editorial position ostensibly is.

      • barrywhererufrom - Apr 18, 2014 at 10:29 PM

        Yeah no liberal bias. That is why we never hear about stories about the Irs scandal and the nsa scandal and Benghazi. Your logic is astounding. Lets use a liberal site to.prove their is no.liberal bias…astounding ..you my friend are a special kind of stupid.

      • Old Gator - Apr 19, 2014 at 12:34 AM

        Then how come we’ve all heard of the IRS scandal, the NSA scandal and your personal favorite, Benghazi? You, you jackass, are a specialer kind of stupid. Perhaps even a unique one.

  7. sdelmonte - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:09 AM

    Poor Mr. Met. I think everyone looks at that giant head, and thinks he’s really Charlie Brown.

  8. ryanw822 - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:11 AM

    I have the image of Will Arnett shooting the mascot of the World Winter Sport Games in Blades of Glory.

  9. barrywhererufrom - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:42 AM

    Never stopped Monica from getting close to Bubba..

    • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 3:26 PM

      And how close do you think she would have bothered getting to you?

      • barrywhererufrom - Apr 18, 2014 at 10:31 PM

        Why would I want an Earth pig like Monica Lewinsky near me?

      • Old Gator - Apr 19, 2014 at 12:34 AM

        Because someone in your position has to take whatever they can get.

  10. barrywhererufrom - Apr 18, 2014 at 9:44 AM

    And finally the real threat was Reggie Jackson..thank goodness for Frank Dremond aka Enrico Palitzo

  11. Tarkus - Apr 18, 2014 at 10:10 AM

    In fairness, who HASN’T been prepared to kill Mr. Met?

    • rbj1 - Apr 18, 2014 at 10:43 AM

      Dang, I go and drop my winter boots off to get resoled and someone stole my line.

    • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 3:27 PM

      I never met anyone who wanted to kill him – but speaking for myself, I often imagined a Grateful Dead skull and lightning bolt logo on the back of his head.

      • unclemosesgreen - Apr 18, 2014 at 4:00 PM

        That reminds me of some “imaginings” that I had during Drums/Space. At least I think I imagined them. Most of them.

      • Old Gator - Apr 18, 2014 at 5:40 PM

        You still play your copy of Infrared Roses during…ahem…hangovers?

      • unclemosesgreen - Apr 18, 2014 at 6:19 PM

        Hallucinating can be habit forming. Once kicked in, the doors of perception never again close properly, however one tries.

      • Old Gator - Apr 19, 2014 at 12:36 AM

        In low lying areas this can be a problem during the rainy season.

  12. jerze2387 - Apr 18, 2014 at 10:43 AM

    That headline was the first thing I read when I woke up this morning and for some reason I laughed out loud, literally, for about 2 minutes.

  13. mancave001 - Apr 18, 2014 at 11:04 AM

    Awesome story

  14. yahmule - Apr 18, 2014 at 11:06 AM

    Probably broke that guy’s heart that he couldn’t torture the kid.

  15. zzalapski - Apr 18, 2014 at 11:13 AM

    Not quite as good as the New York Post’s “HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS BAR”, but still a great headline.

  16. snickersdecat - Apr 18, 2014 at 2:36 PM

    hmmmmm

    And they warned him:
    “We have snipers all around the stadium, just in case something were to happen,” the agent warned. “Like I said, do whatever it is you normally do. But approach the President, and we go for the kill shot. Are we clear?”

    Did anyone notice that in that statement it’s not real clear if they would be aiming for Mr. Met or for Slick Willy?

  17. psousa1 - Apr 18, 2014 at 3:48 PM

    Anyone else ever wanted to punch Alex Trebek?

  18. anxovies - Apr 20, 2014 at 8:10 AM

    All mascots should be taken out with a killshot to the head. Especially that thing in Philadelphia.

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