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Introducing “Bush League”: Dirk Hayhurst’s baseball RPG which rewards cheating and dirty play

Apr 25, 2014, 4:00 PM EDT

Bush League

Earlier today I linked Dirk Hayhurst’s guide to scuffing baseballs. Dirk’s full-on heel-turn continues, as today marks the release of his baseball role-playing game for iPhone. Yes, it’s a real thing. And it sounds pretty fantastic:

In Bush League: The Baseball RPG you play as an aspiring prospect looking for an edge to make it to the top of baseball. In your quest for greatness, you turn to PED use. Unfortunately, all the other players are using them as well. If you want to beat the best, you’ve got to out cheat the best. 

Bush League lets you mix and match different PED powers to turn yourself into the perfect player. And you’ll need those powers if you’re going to best Bush League’s 24 bosses, each based on a real baseball personality. Cleat chasers who give you mysterious rashes, starting pitchers who like to tweet too much, hypocritical commissioners, meathead home run hitters, and robotic umpires bent on human annihilation. It’s all here, and more! 

Go here to see an extended description of it, complete with some awesome comic-book style illustrations of the characters, many of whom look an awful lot like people you may know. Like, for example, a Commissioner of Baseball who bears a strange resemblance to a used car salesman-turned Sith Lord Emperor of the galaxy. Go to the iTunes store to get the game. It’s $2.99, and based on what I’m seeing so far, it has to be worth it.

  1. stoutfiles - Apr 25, 2014 at 4:06 PM

    It’s a Bejeweled clone. Meh.

    • Francisco (FC) - Apr 25, 2014 at 4:20 PM

      More like a Puzzle Quest clone. Considering that it’s marketed as an RPG you could do worse for a game mechanism. If done well it can be pretty cool.

    • pinkfloydprism - Apr 25, 2014 at 4:23 PM

      This game looks very lame.

    • scoutsaysweitersisabust - Apr 25, 2014 at 4:29 PM

      I was pretty excited for this game until I saw the screen shot. A great concept ruined by faulty execution.

  2. thomas844 - Apr 25, 2014 at 4:09 PM

    I really really hope John Rocker is the final boss

    • madhatternalice - Apr 25, 2014 at 4:23 PM

      “Finish Him!”

      • nbjays - Apr 25, 2014 at 4:58 PM

        “Sweep the leg!” “You got a problem with that?”

  3. El Bravo - Apr 25, 2014 at 4:29 PM

    I can only assume MLB sponsored this game and has their logos all over it.

  4. cur'68 - Apr 25, 2014 at 5:42 PM

    Today I complete my Master’s Thesis. This RPG will be my reward for that. It will be the means by which i soften my education hardened brain back into the tapioca like stew which it used to be, back before I got all Educationed. And I’m going fishing. A lot.

    • cur'68 - Apr 25, 2014 at 5:47 PM

      Also, gentlemen (and I use that term with caution) you should check out the young lady who chases you around this game. She may NOT be bad but she certainly IS drawn that way.

      • historiophiliac - Apr 25, 2014 at 8:01 PM

        So the only representation of females in the game is a skeeze? Nice.

      • cur'68 - Apr 25, 2014 at 8:05 PM

        I didn’t design it…besides, we shouldn’t judge the young lady so harshly. She might be very sweet and a Rhodes’ Scholar once you get get her all settled down and stuffed back into her clothes.

        She has a very discerning look on her …um…face…yeah….

      • historiophiliac - Apr 25, 2014 at 8:08 PM

        Seriously they need to come up with a coding system so they can mark some of these posts as a warning…

      • cur'68 - Apr 25, 2014 at 8:24 PM

        Just sent in the thesis for the final time. Several beers are going to be consumed now. Whatever happens next is beyond my control.

      • historiophiliac - Apr 25, 2014 at 8:27 PM

        Cheers to you! I’m going to be awash in the Chianti to celebrate tonight for you!

        When I was getting ready for my orals, my exam committee opted not to tell me there were levels assigned because they knew I’d stress too much about which one I would get. They were good eggs. I hope you had the same.

  5. JuniorGriffey'sRecliner - Apr 25, 2014 at 6:03 PM

    Can an Android user get a little love over here?

  6. chill1184 - Apr 25, 2014 at 6:44 PM

    I like the art style

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