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Carlos Gomez is teaching himself to talk like a rich person

May 16, 2014, 8:59 AM EST

I’m not sure where this came from, exactly (UPDATE: I’m told it’s in this week’s Sports Illustrated), but reader ‏@wiscoinferno shot it to me. And it makes me love Carlos Gomez even more than I did before, if that’s possible:


I’m picturing Gomez walking around with a monocle. Heck, he should go to bat wearing one. He doesn’t respect the game, I’m told, so maybe that’d class it up.

  1. steelerfanforlife - May 16, 2014 at 9:02 AM

    That is awesome!

  2. unclemosesgreen - May 16, 2014 at 9:03 AM

    Opposition research is one of the fundamentals of success.

    I (heart) Carlos Gomez.

    He should have his own fan section with blow-up baseball bats and whenever he makes contact, even a foul ball, they all just simultaneously flip their bats.

    • gothapotamus90210 - May 16, 2014 at 9:50 AM

      Dialectical nature … he must have been reading Engels.

  3. gothapotamus90210 - May 16, 2014 at 9:18 AM

    Ryan Braun with a “data” zinger, bravo.

  4. asimonetti88 - May 16, 2014 at 9:46 AM

    Kiwis are so legit!

    • El Bravo - May 16, 2014 at 10:52 AM

      Sure I like the New Zealand folk too, but that fruit is gross.

      • asimonetti88 - May 16, 2014 at 10:54 AM

        It has three times the potassium of bananas though!

      • El Bravo - May 16, 2014 at 10:55 AM

        I’ll eat three bananas.

      • recoveringcubsfan - May 16, 2014 at 1:14 PM

        I want to disagree, but I cannot. That fruit is garbage.

    • nbjays - May 16, 2014 at 10:58 AM

      Giraffes beg to differ.

  5. tbird05 - May 16, 2014 at 9:51 AM

    It has always been intriguing to me how much controversy can be created exclusively in a person’s mind. Now, please understand that only 10% of that controversy ever comes to fruition, and the other 90% just simply drives the individual crazy. I also wonder how many problems those individuals cause by publicizing their perceived controversy (the 90% that is), versus actual controversy.

    Case in point…Craig feels that the world is out to get him and anyone that shares similar views. This leads Craig to stir the pot and beat dead horses.

    If you don’t believe me, hook him up to a blood pressure monitor and ask his thought on baseball’s unwritten rules, the designated police of said rules, anyone that complains about bat flips, or just anybody who has a different opinion than him.

    The point is, how about we ask some of the players how they feel about Brain McCann, whether they think there should be an unwritten rules committee, and perhaps most importantly, if people like Craig make bigger deals out of things than they actually are.

    I think you would be surprised by the result. As much as people love controversy, my guess is that most of it starts in blogs and ends with players being pissed off that those bloggers blow things out of proportion.

    • tfbuckfutter - May 16, 2014 at 10:44 AM

      • tbird05 - May 16, 2014 at 10:52 AM

        It was a good article until this:

        “I’m picturing Gomez walking around with a monocle. Heck, he should go to bat wearing one. He doesn’t respect the game, I’m told, so maybe that’d class it up.”

        Craig…meet dead horse. Also, contrary to what people think, Brian McCann is still invited to Gomez’s birthday party.

    • thetoolsofignorance - May 16, 2014 at 11:28 AM

      Carlos Gomez attempting to learn about rich people from google? its a method, I guess. most of us just try and fake it till we make it though. in my experience the unwritten rules of rich folk are pretty simple. Don’t get caught or be seen doing anything unethical unless it makes you filthy rich or you are already filthy rich. Never pay cash unless you ONLY pay cash. that’s about it.

      • thetoolsofignorance - May 16, 2014 at 11:30 AM

        And this wasn’t supposed to go here. For you, tbird I had intended to say “lighten up, Francois” (i used the french, since that’s ‘richer’)

      • tbird05 - May 16, 2014 at 11:38 AM

        Wait a minute…so a blogger can go on and on about something that is mostly an issue because media has made it an issue (and this blogger is part of that media) and when I make a statement basically saying to lighten up and let it go, I get a response telling me to lighten up? That’s “rich.”

      • thetoolsofignorance - May 16, 2014 at 11:47 AM

        Yes. A blogger can do that. Its his blog. That’s what one does on one’s blog Francois. No one makes you read it of course. So if you don’t like the content either write your own or go somewhere else but all I ever see of you is bellyaching over content on this blog. This is a pure fluff piece and here you are dragging it down with more bellyaching. Go elsewhere if you can’t stand to enjoy the funny content.

      • tbird05 - May 16, 2014 at 11:50 AM

        Good point, peace out.

  6. flosox - May 16, 2014 at 10:01 AM

    I find Kiwi to be shallow and pedantic…

    • tfbuckfutter - May 16, 2014 at 10:41 AM

      Mm. Indeed. Shallow and pedantic.

  7. historiophiliac - May 16, 2014 at 10:13 AM

    I’m guessing my comment didn’t get posted because it was somehow offensive…but the topic here is not. Forget that.

    • tbird05 - May 16, 2014 at 10:25 AM

      I’m guessing that nobody knows what you are talking about because your comment didn’t get posted.

    • El Bravo - May 16, 2014 at 10:57 AM

      Sometimes my comments don’t work at all. Maybe just a technical thing. You know Craig loves you ;)

    • happytwinsfan - May 16, 2014 at 10:59 AM

      My pre beard Grady Sizemore comment didn’t post on the Beautiful Brad thread either.


    • unclemosesgreen - May 16, 2014 at 12:55 PM

      If you’re posting on the NBC sports phone app, let me just tell you that I’ve had a bunch of comments disappear through that. It’s a buggy, lame pile of … stuff that would get my comment actually unposted.

      I doubt the content of anything you would post could get your comment canned.

  8. pbastille - May 16, 2014 at 10:24 AM

    Would’ve sounded even smarter if he called them Chinese gooseberries

  9. bpearse230 - May 16, 2014 at 10:54 AM

    This sounds like a scene from 30 Rock with Tracy Jordan/Morgan.

  10. chip56 - May 16, 2014 at 4:25 PM

    I’m just curious how long you’re going to repeat this narrative that people are accusing Gomez of not respecting the game? I haven’t heard anyone say that other than you. Not respecting other players…that I’ve heard.

  11. musketmaniac - May 16, 2014 at 4:38 PM


  12. musketmaniac - May 16, 2014 at 4:39 PM

    censorship is everywhere mose,

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