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See the K-zone of some of the more notable celebrity first pitches

May 29, 2014, 3:00 PM EDT

Screen Shot 2014-05-29 at 2.48.30 PM

With 50 Cent’s first pitch making everyone laugh the other night, the folks at the Washington Post decided to watch video of a whole bunch of celebrity, “celebrity” and politician first pitches and plot them on a graph. The results are here.

Takeaways:

  • This is subjective. I think Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory’s first pitch a few years ago was worse than 50 Cent’s, but they have it closer;
  • George W. Bush gets credit for one of the best first pitches of all time — and given the circumstances I think it was the best — but don’t sell old Bill Clinton short. He painted the freakin’ black.
  • Verne Troyer: head hunter. Who knew?

Anyway, this is fun on a slow afternoon.

  1. tbird05 - May 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM

    Nolan Ryan should be ashamed of himself…

    • youknowwhatsgoodforshoulderpain - May 29, 2014 at 3:12 PM

      The batter winked at him, so he threw that one inside…wayyyy inside.

    • 1981titan - May 29, 2014 at 5:47 PM

      You know what they say. Throw at his head when you want to send a message. Throw behind the batter when you want to nail him in the head. DO NOT PISS OFF NOLAN RYAN!

  2. phillyguyindc - May 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM

    I like the fictional/extinct designation

    • tbird05 - May 29, 2014 at 3:10 PM

      Yeah, I just wonder which one the cookie monster is…could of sworn he was real.

  3. youknowwhatsgoodforshoulderpain - May 29, 2014 at 3:10 PM

    So….Bush, Clinton, McConaughey, Snoop, and Sotomayor are the only non-athlete celebs to register Ks?? Good grief! I gotta admit, Sotomayor HAS to be the most shocking of those.

    • tbird05 - May 29, 2014 at 3:11 PM

      We all knew Clinton could put it in the box.

      • youknowwhatsgoodforshoulderpain - May 29, 2014 at 3:12 PM

        {rimshot}

      • tbird05 - May 29, 2014 at 3:16 PM

        touche

      • Caught Looking - May 29, 2014 at 5:03 PM

        He could paint the blue too (as in the blue dress)

    • mckludge - May 29, 2014 at 3:16 PM

      Sonia is clearly the pitcher on the Supreme Court intramural baseball team. National League rules, of course.

    • [citation needed] fka COPO - May 29, 2014 at 3:20 PM

      Sotomayor HAS to be the most shocking of those.

      Not sure why you are so shocked. Of course she’d be to the left of Alito…

    • DelawarePhilliesFan - May 29, 2014 at 4:01 PM

      Don’t be shocked by Sotomayor – look at the video. She was about 30 feet in front of the late.

      Not to pick on her – just saying as soon as I saw that spot, I knew something had to be up

    • asimonetti88 - May 29, 2014 at 4:39 PM

      Bush actually laid it right down the middle, while wearing a bulletproof vest, nonetheless. I haven’t seen Clinton’s before, but looks like he put it in there too from the graph. Obama can’t throw a baseball, but is supposed to be something of a pretty good basketball player. Just goes to show the all-around talent and ability it takes to become President.

      • [citation needed] fka COPO - May 29, 2014 at 4:41 PM

        Bush actually laid it right down the middle, while wearing a bulletproof vest,

        He also did it from the rubber too.

    • umrguy42 - May 30, 2014 at 10:12 AM

      Wouldn’t most umps apparently call Clinton and Sotomayor for balls there, though? Thought umps were trending more “belt buckle to knees” rather than “letters(or whatever) to knees” that it’s supposed to be…

  4. moogro - May 29, 2014 at 3:41 PM

    Oh yea, Mallory’s was worse. I love his “oh F**K” afterwards.

  5. chad10 - May 29, 2014 at 3:55 PM

    Maddux’s would still be called a strike.

    • tbird05 - May 29, 2014 at 4:04 PM

      And it would have started out on the left side of the plate…on the black. Dude had skills…

  6. natstowngreg - May 29, 2014 at 6:30 PM

    G.W. Bush also threw out the first pitch at the Nats’ first home opener (2005). Then-Nats’ catcher Brian Schneider told a story about warming Bush up pre-game. Schneider was nervous about catching the President’s first pitch. Bush was telling Schneider to relax.

  7. hushbrother - May 29, 2014 at 8:43 PM

    50 Cent took, what, six bullets to the torso? Maybe he doesn’t have much range of motion in his throwing arm as a result. At least I hope that’s his excuse.

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