May 30, 2014, 9:18 AM EDT
YANKEES FAN 1: …Look! Ah! Oh! Oh!
YANKEES FAN 2: He has given us a sign!
YANKEES FAN 1: He has given us… His chair!
YANKEES FAN 2: The chair is the sign. Let us follow His example!
YANKEES FAN 1: Let us, like Him, hold up one chair and let another be stacked against the wall, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.
YANKEES FAN 2: No, no, no. The chair is a sign that we must gather chairs together in abundance!
YANKEES FAN 3: …the chair?! No, follow the Gourd!
YANKEES FANS 1 and 2: Oh, get off!
Whatever the case, the Cubs gotta pay for those Wrigley Field renovations somehow:
- Curt Schilling reveals that he was diagnosed with mouth cancer, blames smokeless tobacco 18
- Clown shoes in Chicago: the Cubs grounds crew couldn’t get the tarp on the field 35
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights 40
- Tony La Russa denies that Kirk Gibson’s job is safe 16
- Pirates activate Andrew McCutchen from the disabled list 2
- HBT Daily: They’ve dropped six straight, but the Pirates may be the Wild Card favorites 2
- The Diamondbacks plan to bring back Kirk Gibson for some reason 31
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights 32
- Mike Matheny addresses turmoil in Ferguson: “It’s a sad situation. It’s a tough situation for our city” (125)
- Jayson Werth clocked at 105 m.p.h. in a 55 zone, is charged with reckless driving (88)
- Here’s today’s dose of barfy Derek Jeter sentiment (82)
- Baseball is dying, you guys (78)
- A vote for Tom Werner for commissioner is a vote to return to the dark ages (78)