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The Rays turn to a Seminole medicine man to end their slump

Jun 9, 2014, 4:00 PM EDT

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Crappy cologne didn’t work, so why not some tribal rituals?

The slumping Tampa Bay Rays have turned to a Seminole medicine man to change their fortunes.

Tampa Bay manager Joe Maddon invited 77-year-old tribal elder Bobby Henry to Tropicana Field on Monday in an attempt to help his team, which has the worst record in the majors.

“We just turned him loose on the Trop,” Maddon said.

That visit happened this morning. As I type this, the Rays are losing 3-0 to the Mariners in the bottom of the seventh. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that Mr. Henry’s medicine is no match for the Rays’ crappy offense and mediocre pitching.

  1. Conner012367 - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:02 PM

    u would guess right.

  2. sportsdrenched - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:08 PM

    In with this obligatory Pedro Cerrano quote:

    “Jobu… I go to you. I stick up for you. And you no help me now… I say f— you Jobu. I do it myself.”

  3. rhannah78 - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:10 PM

    Hey Rays! Isn’t karma a bitch? That’s what you get for rubbing it in the face of the Red Sox during their 10 game losing streak!

    • historiophiliac - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:28 PM

      LMAO — BoSox got no moral high ground there. I would not welcome the karma if I were you.

    • stlouis1baseball - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:35 PM

      Check it out people! Rihanna is on HBT talking s h i t! And she is apparently a Redsox fan.
      Listen Rihanna…I think you are incredibly hot. One of the hottest on the planet in fact.
      This in mind… I especially dug that sheer dress you recently wore to the awards ceremony.

      But as a Redsox fan…you have no business throwing darts at s h i t talkers.

      Now send me some photos!

      • rhannah78 - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:54 PM

    • stlouis1baseball - Jun 9, 2014 at 5:06 PM

      Come on RiRi. Didn’t you learn anything from all the bad publicity during your Chris Brown experiment? Flipping people off isn’t doing you any favors. And quite frankly, it’s very rude.

      Now…send me some different photos! I told you I liked the sheer dress you wore.
      How about some bikini shots?

  4. tfbuckfutter - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:15 PM

    This just may work.

    Can they get every game rained out until next season?

  5. musketmaniac - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:23 PM

    looks like it’s time to sacrifice a bucket of chicken again.

  6. janvajda - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:30 PM

    Reblogged this on Attorney at Law Jan Vajda Namestovo, Slovakia.

    • hittfamily - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:45 PM

      Really? The Slovakian Bar Association has interest in the Rays’ slump?

      • stlouis1baseball - Jun 9, 2014 at 5:11 PM

        U haven’t heard? The SBA are big fans of Joe Madden. They think he is a genius.
        From the little dress parties on road trips, to the stinky cologne, to Medicine Man.
        They dig them some Joe Madden.
        The Slovakian Bar Association for Joe Madden!
        Hip, Hop, Horray!

    • asimonetti88 - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:52 PM


  7. cur'68 - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:30 PM

    I thought it was all about mayo and bananas? I can’t keep track of the stupid rituals.

  8. hittfamily - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:44 PM

    Wow. 13 of 14. I am speechless. The worst thing about this is that for the first time in this team’s history, most players will be back next year. Usually, the Rays have about a dozen free agents to replace every year. Not next year. Juan Carlos Oviedo and Erik Bedard are the only free agents at years end. We are stuck with this lousy bunch next year too.

    I just don’t get it. You look at the numbers, and they aren’t THAT bad. Most regulars haven’t been outstanding, but are at worst league average. Price,Bedard, McGee, and Archer are having very respectable years. Cobb and Odorizzi’s advanced #’s look MUCH better than their ERA’s. I reaaly feel like the baseball gods are just angry at them for some unknown reason.

    Perhaps it was the Heath Bell deal. Everywhere that guy goes the team suck that year, and sets records for being bad the next. ThePadres, Marlis, Diamondbacks, and now the Rays were good teams that got “Belled” right in the ass. They can bring in all the witch doctors they want. I’d bring in a cleaning crew to make sure Bell didn’t leave any cheeseburger wrappers lying around that are still causing the Bell curse.

    • indaburg - Jun 9, 2014 at 5:12 PM

      I understand, hittfamily. I’m stunned. I never thought we were a lock for AL East Champion as many prognosticators had us, but never in my worst nightmare would I have predicted a season so terrible. As Rays fans (née Devil Rays fans), we’re well acquainted with awful baseball but never ever when there was any hope. They look so lackluster outside of Kiermaier.

  9. indaburg - Jun 9, 2014 at 4:57 PM

    To exorcise the demons, they need to let these guys loose at the Trop:

    As a bonus, we get a new stadium.

  10. nothanksimdriving123 - Jun 9, 2014 at 5:01 PM

    Prayer of any sort is of great importance. In the words of comic legend Steve Allen: If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers.

  11. Old Gator - Jun 9, 2014 at 6:11 PM

    Ooooo eeeee oooo ah ah
    Ting tang wallawalla bing bang
    Oooo eeee oooo ah ah
    Ting tang wallawalla bing bing…..

  12. drewsylvania - Jun 9, 2014 at 6:36 PM

    “Maddon has tried a variety of things over the years to liven up his team. He has brought a python, penguins and a magician into the clubhouse in the past.”

    He might try getting rid of the rapist to clear out the bad juju….

    • flatsorter - Jun 9, 2014 at 7:10 PM

      He got DFAed a few days ago.

      • drewsylvania - Jun 9, 2014 at 7:36 PM

        He did? My day just got much better.

  13. 4cornersfan - Jun 10, 2014 at 9:19 AM

    This is not going to work. Everybody knows that Seminole medicine men are amateurs. If you really need a medicine man you must have a Navajo or Hopi, they are the pros. Sure, a Seminole might cure a fading Little League nine or a semi-pro team, or even stop a bad streak at the Instructional League level, but for the big boys you need a heavy hitter hand trembler or a peyote sweat bath.

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