Jun 20, 2014, 1:00 PM EDT
A true story from late this morning:
Guy: Thank you for calling DirecTV, how can I help you?
Me: Hi, I just got the notice that my NFL Sunday Ticket package is going to renew in September unless I call to cancel. I’d like to cancel, please.
Guy: You currently have NFL Sunday Ticket, correct?
Me: Well, I had it last season. It was free as part of that offer. I don’t want to pay for it, though, so I’d like to cancel.
Guy: Would you be willing to keep NFL Sunday Ticket if it were offered at a lower price?
Me: No. I don’t watch football. Just, not at all. I had it free last year and didn’t use it once.
Guy: You don’t watch football?
Me: An occasional college game, but I don’t like the NFL.
Guy [somewhat incredulously]: You’re not an NFL fan? Really?
Guy: I see you have the MLB Extra Innings package, though.
Me: Well, yes. That’s baseball. I like baseball. I don’t like football, though, so I don’t want the football package.
Guy: I’m sorry, I just meant that I see that you’re a sports fan, so . . . [tails off, realizing he’s straying from “the customer is always right” thing]
Guy: OK, I’ll have to transfer you to our cancellations department. I’ll just put a note on your account [quotes note as he’s typing] “Does. Not. Like. The. NFL.” [there is still a pretty strong note of incredulity in his voice].
To be fair, the representative to whom I spoke was quite pleasant and, after that brief exchange, my request was handled to my satisfaction, as was another unrelated request. I really do love DirecTV and have never had a thing to complain about with respect to their product or their customer service. I highly recommend them if you have the means and don’t have tall trees to you direct southwest.
Still: the notion that someone merely saying that they’re not a fan of professional football is surprising to people tickles me. You can tell it made him go off script for a second. I almost felt like it would’ve been easier to whip out the almost always inadvisable “don’t you know who I am?” thing. Because if he was aware of my football-hating bonafides, it woulda saved us some time.
- Believe the hype: Carlos Correa is already a superstar 12
- Gregg Zaun to Yordano Ventura: “stop writing checks with your mouth that your skinny ass can’t cash” 58
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights 52
- Adrian Beltre needs just five innings for the third cycle of his career 16
- Mets blow out Marlins, move past Nationals for first place in NL East 26
- Yordano Ventura calls Jose Bautista a “nobody” and accuses him of stealing signs 73
- And That Happened: Sunday’s scores and highlights 88
- The benches cleared in Toronto, too 79
- The benches cleared in Friday’s Giants-Rangers game (208)
- Blue Jays acquire David Price from the Tigers (113)
- Rangers land ace left-hander Cole Hamels from Phillies (106)
- Royals make another big move, get Ben Zobrist from A’s (95)
- Report: Rockies trade Troy Tulowitzki to Blue Jays for Jose Reyes and prospects (92)