Jun 20, 2014, 1:00 PM EST
A true story from late this morning:
Guy: Thank you for calling DirecTV, how can I help you?
Me: Hi, I just got the notice that my NFL Sunday Ticket package is going to renew in September unless I call to cancel. I’d like to cancel, please.
Guy: You currently have NFL Sunday Ticket, correct?
Me: Well, I had it last season. It was free as part of that offer. I don’t want to pay for it, though, so I’d like to cancel.
Guy: Would you be willing to keep NFL Sunday Ticket if it were offered at a lower price?
Me: No. I don’t watch football. Just, not at all. I had it free last year and didn’t use it once.
Guy: You don’t watch football?
Me: An occasional college game, but I don’t like the NFL.
Guy [somewhat incredulously]: You’re not an NFL fan? Really?
Guy: I see you have the MLB Extra Innings package, though.
Me: Well, yes. That’s baseball. I like baseball. I don’t like football, though, so I don’t want the football package.
Guy: I’m sorry, I just meant that I see that you’re a sports fan, so . . . [tails off, realizing he’s straying from “the customer is always right” thing]
Guy: OK, I’ll have to transfer you to our cancellations department. I’ll just put a note on your account [quotes note as he’s typing] “Does. Not. Like. The. NFL.” [there is still a pretty strong note of incredulity in his voice].
To be fair, the representative to whom I spoke was quite pleasant and, after that brief exchange, my request was handled to my satisfaction, as was another unrelated request. I really do love DirecTV and have never had a thing to complain about with respect to their product or their customer service. I highly recommend them if you have the means and don’t have tall trees to you direct southwest.
Still: the notion that someone merely saying that they’re not a fan of professional football is surprising to people tickles me. You can tell it made him go off script for a second. I almost felt like it would’ve been easier to whip out the almost always inadvisable “don’t you know who I am?” thing. Because if he was aware of my football-hating bonafides, it woulda saved us some time.
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