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The Cubs lose because they’re “a good Lutheran team”

Jun 24, 2014, 11:03 AM EDT

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Ed Sherman of the Sherman report passes this along. He went to go see Garrison Keillor’s “Prairie Home Companion” show in Chicago on Saturday and Keillor whipped this one out:

It’s the 100th anniversary of Wrigley Field in Chicago, which was built in 1914 on the site of the old Chicago Lutheran Theological Seminary. And right there is the key to the story of the Chicago Cubs. This team is the living embodiment of Lutheran theology, which if I need remind you is not about winning. It’s not about being No. 1. It is about taking the back seat and being of service to others.

The Cubs have been of service to so many other teams. They have pulled other teams out of losing streaks. Batters who were in painful slumps have recovered their confidence against the Cubs.

It’s a good Lutheran team you’ve got there on the North Side of Chicago.

It’s a better explanation than the Billy Goat at least. Keillor also did a song about the Cubs. Click through to Sherman’s piece to see the lyrics.

And yes, I know:

 

Still, I’m a white dude from the Midwest, so I don’t hate Keillor as much as a lot of people and the Cubs explanation made me smile. So there.

 

  1. tfbuckfutter - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:09 AM

    So always losing is their cross to bear?

    • Old Gator - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:50 AM

      Only kidding. Crucifixion, actually.

    • resilientcubsfan - Jun 24, 2014 at 2:23 PM

      …to bear?! I see what you did there. *inserts Pun Husky image*

    • SocraticGadfly - Jun 24, 2014 at 3:21 PM

      If the Cubs took a scapegoat, a particular, curse-bearing type of billy goat, and sacrificed it to the god named Selig, just maybe …

  2. dowhatifeellike - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:12 AM

    If corporations can be people, I guess baseball teams can be religious.

    • Old Gator - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:51 AM

      I’ll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.

      • SocraticGadfly - Jun 24, 2014 at 1:31 PM

        I’ll volunteer the Kochs, as a corporation, to be the first for that honor.

      • philliesblow - Jun 24, 2014 at 2:49 PM

        George Soros is a bigger evil than the Kochs.

      • SocraticGadfly - Jun 24, 2014 at 3:01 PM

        Uhh, no! To be more specific, even 10 of Soros wouldn’t add up to one Koch-sucker.

    • SocraticGadfly - Jun 24, 2014 at 2:58 PM

      Well, especially if you’re a good Catholic, there IS ….

      The Cardinals!

      Hah … two Cubs birds killed with one stone.

  3. nvl004 - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:13 AM

    love it!!!!

  4. proudlycanadian - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:25 AM

    While praying, a minister in Chicago once said “dear God, will the Cubs ever win the World Series again?” A heavenly voice answered “Yes, but not in my lifetime.”

    • Old Gator - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:51 AM

      Plundered Beanbag joke.

      • proudlycanadian - Jun 24, 2014 at 12:00 PM

        I first heard a variation of it around 1990..

    • nothanksimdriving123 - Jun 24, 2014 at 6:07 PM

      To Proudly: we can feel free to sub in Maple Leafs for Cubs, stir, season to taste…

      • proudlycanadian - Jun 24, 2014 at 6:55 PM

        The Leafs have won the Stanley Cup in my lifetime. The Cubs have not won the World Series in yours.

      • nothanksimdriving123 - Jun 24, 2014 at 10:00 PM

        I’m a lot older than I look. OK, perhaps not that old. But old enough to have been at MLG 50 years ago when the Leafs won their 3rd in a row. My grandparents were alive when last the Cubbies won it all, but I doubt their Polish newspapers carried baseball news, and their small town cable company refused to carry ESPN, the jerks.

  5. zzalapski - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:39 AM

    I thought they lose because they don’t play baseball as well as their opponents.

  6. stex52 - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:39 AM

    Kind of like the Bartman ball. If God has foreordained that they will lose, then the pressure is off.

    (Wow, that was harsh of me.)

  7. pjmitch - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:41 AM

    Let’s not forget, A Dying Cubs Fan Last Request. RIP Steve Goodman

    • rickrenteria - Jun 24, 2014 at 5:38 PM

      I cannot watch that video without bawling my eyes out. Yes, we still play the blues in Chicago.

  8. paulier55 - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:52 AM

    Stupid TV! Be more funny!

  9. Old Gator - Jun 24, 2014 at 11:55 AM

    People don’t believe in what they can’t see, so Keillor, who has clearly never used an electron microscope in his life, has ignored the likelihood that the Cubs’ problem is a prion-vectored Indonesian neurological disease originally diagnosed by Dutch colonial physicians known as Die Vloek van der Geitbok.

  10. sabatimus - Jun 24, 2014 at 12:16 PM

    Don’t forget “Root, root root for the Cubbies…if they lose it’s the same…”

  11. uwsptke - Jun 24, 2014 at 1:29 PM

    I guess this would explain a lot about the history of the Minnesota Vikings as well.

    • happytwinsfan - Jun 24, 2014 at 2:22 PM

      As a fair weather Vikings fan, I’m afraid that I must take mild issue with that.

  12. sportsfan18 - Jun 24, 2014 at 2:26 PM

    Bah!

    They just need a better PR person is all… Tis easy to spin…

    When they said…

    “This team is the living embodiment of Lutheran theology, which if I need remind you is not about winning. It’s not about being No. 1. It is about taking the back seat and being of service to others.”

    The Cubs simply need to win and be #1 at taking the back seat and being of service to others.

    Now, the Cubs could be of great service to other teams by soundly beating them and therefore kindly showing the other team where their weaknesses were.

    The Cubs, as a service to the other teams, could help the executives with their decisions on who to demote to the minors, who to move to the bullpen etc…

    Things may always be spun…

  13. musketmaniac - Jun 24, 2014 at 4:00 PM

    Martin Luther probably would have been a short stop.

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