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Who could’ve predicted Tim Lincecum’s no-hitter? Maybe an astrologer

Jun 26, 2014, 9:15 AM EDT

Tim Lincecum Getty Getty Images

Wendy Thurm — who was at the Giants-Padres game as a fan yesterday and then ended up filing some stories about Tim Lincecum’s no-hitter last night — tweeted out this overnight. It’s from Leah Garchik at

The spring-summer 2014 edition of “The Ultimate Sports Guide” includes astrologer Andrea Mallis’ analysis of Tim Lincecum, born June 15, 1984: “This season heralds Tim’s Saturn Return, an auspicious planetary cycle of new beginnings occurring around age 29 or 30.” Lincecum “is aligning with the forces of the universe, as the Saturn Return guides him to prioritize objectives. … We move forward as the planets do, as transformation morphs into Lincecum 2.0, getting back on track as the stars align. A repurposed Gemini Twins blend of inner peace and outward persistence makes this a Saturn Return season to remember.”

I don’t feel like Lincecum has ever lacked “inner peace,” but what do I know? I’s nice to see that he’s returning to Saturn, however.

[Shakes head, puts on his John McClane from “Die Hard” voice]: California.

  1. aresachaela - Jun 26, 2014 at 9:24 AM

    Its the freak of nature Craig, I tell you!

  2. indians131184 - Jun 26, 2014 at 9:28 AM

    And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”

  3. scoochpooch - Jun 26, 2014 at 9:51 AM

    Probably anybody that saw that he was facing the Padres, who choose to field a Class A level team in MLB. Why do they have a team again? NL = terrible.

  4. southpaw2k - Jun 26, 2014 at 9:52 AM

    “Come down to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs….”

    • [citation needed] fka COPO - Jun 26, 2014 at 10:09 AM

      Tim Lincecum: Oh man, I can’t f’ing believe this. Another game against the Padres, another no-hitter. How can the same ish happen to the same guy twice?

      • southpaw2k - Jun 26, 2014 at 10:20 AM

        “Just once, I’d like a regular, normal start. Strikeouts….base hits…a run or two. But no, I gotta throw a mutha effin’ no-hitter!”

  5. fifthstarter - Jun 26, 2014 at 12:35 PM

    Andrea the Sports Astrologer is a regular on KNBR, the Giants’ flagship station. This is her schtick, and she’s serious about it even if no one else is. I thought it was a gag for awhile, but nope. (Her twitter:

  6. pisano - Jun 26, 2014 at 10:40 PM

    It’s a great accomplishment no matter who you’re facing, but lets be real, there wasn’t a guy in that line up hitting over .200.

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