Jul 3, 2014, 10:30 AM EDT
Andrew Sullivan often mentions the fact that when he was a reporter at the New Republic his editor, Michael Kinsley, would say that he wished he had a single key on his computer that he could press before even reading an article that would delete all semicolons and replace them with a period and automatically capitalize the next word. Why? Because, Kinsley thought, semicolons were useless crutches which enabled bloated, aimless prose and served to prevent the writer from actually saying something useful, clear and succinct.
If I ever seriously mess up in life and find myself editing some Yankees columnist, I’d want a key that automatically deletes any variation of “If George Steinbrenner were alive” and replace it with the words “[columnist] is ill today. He will return next week.”
The latest abuser of this shopworn cliche of Yankees analysis: Bill Madden:
If George Steinbrenner were alive, you know there would be some kind of shakeup. Heads would roll somewhere. Changes — if nothing else for the sake of changes — would be in the offing.
That’s the difference between a regular columnist and a Spink Award-winning columnist like Madden. The Spink Award guy has the guts and job security to add the “heads would roll” cliche to the “if the Boss were still alive” cliche. He throws it all out there.
In other news, Steinbrenner is still dead. And even when he was alive, he had spent the last 15 years or so running a Yankees team with managerial and executive stability nearly unrivaled in all of baseball. Why? Because he changed and matured and realized that he couldn’t do things like he did back in 1982 and be successful anymore.
If only New York columnists could do that.
- Monday’s White Sox/Orioles game postponed due to ongoing protests and violence in Baltimore 125
- Cardinals confirm Adam Wainwright is done for season with torn Achilles 18
- Source: Josh Hamilton rejected a trade to a National League team because he wanted to go back to Texas 46
- Deal done: Josh Hamilton traded to the Texas Rangers for cash considerations 48
- Pitchers batting is dumb and the DH should be universal 353
- And That Happened: Sunday’s scores and highlights 88
- Alex Rodriguez hits 659th career home run, now one shy of tying Willie Mays 60
- Max Scherzer doubtful for next start due to thumb injury 5
- Pitchers batting is dumb and the DH should be universal (355)
- Comment of the Day: do not underestimate the seriousness of the anti-DH crowd (198)
- The early leaders in MLB’s “Franchise Four” thing have been announced (166)
- The Royals and White Sox had a benches-clearing fracas, five players ejected (162)
- Protesters converge on Oriole Park at Camden Yards (149)