Jul 6, 2014, 3:41 PM EDT
Seinfeld Night hosted by the Brooklyn Cyclones was as much of a tribute to the 25th anniversary of the show, as it was a microcosm of everything so beloved from the show about nothing. The night has to be looked at more as performance art than merely a baseball game, and as such, we at HBT thought it was only right to hand out awards for the theatrics on display in Coney Island.
Without further ado, here are the awards:
No soup for you! award goes to: The entire Brooklyn Cyclones squad.
It is one thing to lose, it is a completely separate thing to “shrink”to the occasion in the fashion that the home team did on Saturday night. The Cyclones did their best sitcom impersonation on the diamond, collecting five errors and seven unearned runs en route to an 18-2 trouncing at the hands of the lowly Aberdeen Ironbirds. The Ironbirds, who came into the game with just three wins on the season, spoiled what is sure to be one of the biggest games of the season for the Cyclones, who were playing in front of a sold-out crowd on July Fourth weekend. For your performance, we say: No soup for you, Cyclones.
The best Newman award goes to: Jhoan Ureña
Seinfeld’s Newman embodies someone who cares just enough about his job to get by. Raining? No way he’s going to work. Don’t feel like delivering the mail? Just hide it in Jerry’s storage locker. Well, Cyclones 3B Jhoan Ureña really took this commitment to excellence to heart in Saturday night’s affair.
Ureña had two specific plays that stick out from last night’s game. In the first inning, Ureña received the benefit of the doubt from a home box scorer when he botched a chopper to third base. Ureña allowed the ball to skip off of his glove, where it sailed into left field, allowing a run in the process. The following inning, Ureña attempted to make a play on the ball that was clearly out of range, losing his glove in the process. What does Ureña do? Looks around sheepishly, shrugs and scoops up his mitt. Never change, Jhoan.
The Show About Nothing award goes to: Kenny Kramer
The inspiration for Seinfeld’s wackiest character, Cosmo Kramer, Kenny Kramer was Larry David’s neighbor for many years while the show’s co-creator lived in New York. What was Kramer doing at Seinfeld Night one may ask? Doesn’t he have other things to be doing than celebrating a character that largely mocked him on public television? Those would be very astute questions.
While it’s hard to say for sure, it seems Kenny Kramer has not made too much of himself in the time since he lived next to David. Kenny works with a traveling reality show that uses Kramer’s likeness from the show to attract a crowd. Kenny spent much of the evening vying for camera time and telling patrons to make sure they get a fair price for their signed Seinfeld items on eBay or it hurts his sales. Having said that, the man seemed like a very nice fellow, just a nice fellow that was out of place in this celebration of the show – not that there is anything wrong with that.
The Most Convincing Mailman goes to: This guy
Newman could learn a few things from this stand up gentleman.
The award for Worst Low-Talkers goes to: The Seinfeld Night crowd!
As the errors piled up and the game wore on, the crowd became more and more irritable; raining down a chorus of taunts and boos from the stands. It seems the Cyclones are in fact, not the masters of their domain. With this dearth of low-talkers in the crowd, the jeers were audible in every corner of Vandelay Industries Park on Saturday night. Who can blame them, though? Wild pitches, errors and fundamental blunders were easier to find than Seinfeld re-runs on a weekday afternoon.
Finally, the award for Best Pirate costume goes to: Sandy the Seagull!
Wait, what’s that? You don’t want to be a pirate?
That is it for HBT’s Seinfeld Night superlatives. There is a silver lining for the fans and Cyclones both. Surprising as it may seem now, Seinfeld struggled with ratings during the early years and was almost cancelled on numerous occasions, so not all hope is lost for the Cyclones. Who knows, Brooklyn may evolve into a Seinfeld-ian dynasty come next season, as George says, “Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.”
Apr 27, 2015, 10:03 PM EDT
The Nationals mapped out a plan that could have had Rendon make his season debut as soon as Thursday against the Mets, but that’s on hold for now.
Apr 27, 2015, 9:04 PM EDT
The Diamondbacks are reportedly among the potential landing spots for Saltalamacchia.
Apr 27, 2015, 8:10 PM EDT
Bailey is coming off flexor tendon surgery. Could Tommy John surgery be next?
Apr 27, 2015, 7:24 PM EDT
McCarthy appears headed for season-ending Tommy John surgery.
Apr 27, 2015, 7:20 PM EDT
Adam Ottavino was just named as the Rockies closer two weeks ago, but now he’s headed to the disabled list with right triceps inflammation.
Apr 27, 2015, 6:41 PM EDT
Protests and violence continue in Baltimore after the recent death of 25-year-old Freddie Gray.
Apr 27, 2015, 6:09 PM EDT
Wainwright will undergo season-ending surgery this week.
Apr 27, 2015, 5:40 PM EDT
Scherzer is in the first season of a seven-year, $210 million contract and has pitched very well through four starts with a 1.26 ERA and 29/4 K/BB ratio in 29 innings.
Source: Josh Hamilton rejected a trade to a National League team because he wanted to go back to Texas
Apr 27, 2015, 4:56 PM EDT
Hamilton had a full no-trade clause with the Angels. And he exercised it in an effort to get back to the Rangers.
Apr 27, 2015, 4:25 PM EDT
Pro tip: when you’re trying to sell something, don’t tell all of your potential customers how crappy the thing is and how desperate you are to be rid of it.
Apr 27, 2015, 4:04 PM EDT
This trade rids the Angels of Josh Hamilton, Josh Hamilton of the Angels and give the Rangers a pretty big bargain. Win-win-win?
Apr 27, 2015, 3:31 PM EDT
Saltalamacchia is owed $7 million this season and $8 million next season.
Apr 27, 2015, 3:15 PM EDT
As usual, the Phillies are why we can’t have nice things.
Apr 27, 2015, 2:35 PM EDT
Jaso injured his wrist sliding into third base on Opening Day.
Apr 27, 2015, 1:22 PM EDT
He was traded from the Nationals to the Dodgers just last week.
Apr 27, 2015, 1:08 PM EDT
Powerful words from the Orioles’ executive in the wake of the death of Freddie Gray.
Apr 27, 2015, 12:32 PM EDT
Some people are really committed. Others are so committed, maybe they should be committed.
Apr 27, 2015, 11:19 AM EDT
Perez posted a 9.39 ERA in six appearances for Triple-A Colorado Springs.
Apr 27, 2015, 11:03 AM EDT
“Outdoor baseball is stupid, and domes should be universal. My column:”
Apr 27, 2015, 10:47 AM EDT
Gonzalez insists he’s healthy.
- Monday’s White Sox/Orioles game postponed due to ongoing protests and violence in Baltimore 88
- Cardinals confirm Adam Wainwright is done for season with torn Achilles 15
- Source: Josh Hamilton rejected a trade to a National League team because he wanted to go back to Texas 35
- Deal done: Josh Hamilton traded to the Texas Rangers for cash considerations 40
- Pitchers batting is dumb and the DH should be universal 350
- And That Happened: Sunday’s scores and highlights 88
- Alex Rodriguez hits 659th career home run, now one shy of tying Willie Mays 60
- Max Scherzer doubtful for next start due to thumb injury 5
- Pitchers batting is dumb and the DH should be universal (350)
- Comment of the Day: do not underestimate the seriousness of the anti-DH crowd (188)
- The early leaders in MLB’s “Franchise Four” thing have been announced (166)
- The Royals and White Sox had a benches-clearing fracas, five players ejected (161)
- Protesters converge on Oriole Park at Camden Yards (149)