Jul 6, 2014, 3:41 PM EDT
Seinfeld Night hosted by the Brooklyn Cyclones was as much of a tribute to the 25th anniversary of the show, as it was a microcosm of everything so beloved from the show about nothing. The night has to be looked at more as performance art than merely a baseball game, and as such, we at HBT thought it was only right to hand out awards for the theatrics on display in Coney Island.
Without further ado, here are the awards:
No soup for you! award goes to: The entire Brooklyn Cyclones squad.
It is one thing to lose, it is a completely separate thing to “shrink”to the occasion in the fashion that the home team did on Saturday night. The Cyclones did their best sitcom impersonation on the diamond, collecting five errors and seven unearned runs en route to an 18-2 trouncing at the hands of the lowly Aberdeen Ironbirds. The Ironbirds, who came into the game with just three wins on the season, spoiled what is sure to be one of the biggest games of the season for the Cyclones, who were playing in front of a sold-out crowd on July Fourth weekend. For your performance, we say: No soup for you, Cyclones.
The best Newman award goes to: Jhoan Ureña
Seinfeld’s Newman embodies someone who cares just enough about his job to get by. Raining? No way he’s going to work. Don’t feel like delivering the mail? Just hide it in Jerry’s storage locker. Well, Cyclones 3B Jhoan Ureña really took this commitment to excellence to heart in Saturday night’s affair.
Ureña had two specific plays that stick out from last night’s game. In the first inning, Ureña received the benefit of the doubt from a home box scorer when he botched a chopper to third base. Ureña allowed the ball to skip off of his glove, where it sailed into left field, allowing a run in the process. The following inning, Ureña attempted to make a play on the ball that was clearly out of range, losing his glove in the process. What does Ureña do? Looks around sheepishly, shrugs and scoops up his mitt. Never change, Jhoan.
The Show About Nothing award goes to: Kenny Kramer
The inspiration for Seinfeld’s wackiest character, Cosmo Kramer, Kenny Kramer was Larry David’s neighbor for many years while the show’s co-creator lived in New York. What was Kramer doing at Seinfeld Night one may ask? Doesn’t he have other things to be doing than celebrating a character that largely mocked him on public television? Those would be very astute questions.
While it’s hard to say for sure, it seems Kenny Kramer has not made too much of himself in the time since he lived next to David. Kenny works with a traveling reality show that uses Kramer’s likeness from the show to attract a crowd. Kenny spent much of the evening vying for camera time and telling patrons to make sure they get a fair price for their signed Seinfeld items on eBay or it hurts his sales. Having said that, the man seemed like a very nice fellow, just a nice fellow that was out of place in this celebration of the show – not that there is anything wrong with that.
The Most Convincing Mailman goes to: This guy
Newman could learn a few things from this stand up gentleman.
The award for Worst Low-Talkers goes to: The Seinfeld Night crowd!
As the errors piled up and the game wore on, the crowd became more and more irritable; raining down a chorus of taunts and boos from the stands. It seems the Cyclones are in fact, not the masters of their domain. With this dearth of low-talkers in the crowd, the jeers were audible in every corner of Vandelay Industries Park on Saturday night. Who can blame them, though? Wild pitches, errors and fundamental blunders were easier to find than Seinfeld re-runs on a weekday afternoon.
Finally, the award for Best Pirate costume goes to: Sandy the Seagull!
Wait, what’s that? You don’t want to be a pirate?
That is it for HBT’s Seinfeld Night superlatives. There is a silver lining for the fans and Cyclones both. Surprising as it may seem now, Seinfeld struggled with ratings during the early years and was almost cancelled on numerous occasions, so not all hope is lost for the Cyclones. Who knows, Brooklyn may evolve into a Seinfeld-ian dynasty come next season, as George says, “Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.”
Jul 30, 2015, 1:12 AM EDT
In a bit of an oddity, two World Series contenders made a trade.
Jul 30, 2015, 12:05 AM EDT
Unique situation Wednesday night at Citi Field.
Jul 29, 2015, 11:31 PM EDT
Houston defeated Anaheim 6-3 to jump back into first place in the American League West.
Jul 29, 2015, 10:46 PM EDT
It’s a massive two-team, eight-player blockbuster deal that will net the Phillies a frontline starter for this year and years to come while injecting more young talent into the Phillies’ under-construction minor league system.
Jul 29, 2015, 9:31 PM EDT
It’s now even more imperative that St. Louis general manager John Mozeliak secures a first baseman before the July 31 trade deadline.
Jul 29, 2015, 9:01 PM EDT
What a crazy night.
Jul 29, 2015, 8:58 PM EDT
Troy Tulowitzki struck out swinging in his first Blue Jays at-bat Wednesday night against the Phillies, but he unloaded on this Jerome Williams pitch in his second trip to the plate …
Jul 29, 2015, 8:12 PM EDT
There’s been a lot of speculation that these two could be a fit, and now it may be close to happening …
Jul 29, 2015, 7:44 PM EDT
Andrew McCutchen launched a traditional two-run homer in the top of the fifth inning Wednesday in the Pirates’ 10-4 rout of the Twins and then went Little League style in the top of the sixth …
Jul 29, 2015, 7:01 PM EDT
An MRI taken Tuesday ruled out anything serious, but Trout does have a bit of wrist inflammation.
Jul 29, 2015, 6:17 PM EDT
The very latest on the Cole Hamels trade front …
Jul 29, 2015, 5:21 PM EDT
The trade deadline be crazy.
Jul 29, 2015, 5:10 PM EDT
Jul 29, 2015, 3:56 PM EDT
Bradley gets another chance in Boston.
Jul 29, 2015, 3:44 PM EDT
They’re in fourth place and their best player isn’t coming back for a month. Makes all sorts of sense.
Jul 29, 2015, 3:30 PM EDT
Some real old school mentality being demonstrated there.
Jul 29, 2015, 2:54 PM EDT
It was Verlander’s second straight eight inning, one-run performance.
Jul 29, 2015, 2:15 PM EDT
Capuano failed to make it out of the first inning in Tuesday’s start.
Jul 29, 2015, 1:14 PM EDT
Jul 29, 2015, 12:19 PM EDT
At least to the extent you can have a bidding “war” over a two-month rental.
- Rangers land ace left-hander Cole Hamels from Phillies 75
- Mets, Brewers call off reported Carlos Gomez trade 62
- Dodgers, Marlins, Braves trade involving Mat Latos “simply being held up by paperwork” 66
- The Tigers are going to “reboot;” plan to trade Price and Cespedes 72
- Why do managers wear uniforms anyway? 49
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights 51
- Astros “making a strong effort” for Phillies ace Cole Hamels 32
- Angels acquire outfielders David Murphy and David DeJesus 24
- The MLBPA is considering withholding cooperation with ESPN, Fox over Colin Cowherd’s comments (157)
- The Cubs are in discussions with the Phillies on Cole Hamels (146)
- Colin Cowherd wonders how baseball can be considered “complicated” if Dominicans can understand it (129)
- Major League Baseball rips Colin Cowherd in an official statement (123)
- Settling the Scores: Wednesday’s results (106)