Jul 30, 2014, 8:55 AM EDT
I mock the old “If The Boss was still alive” cliche New York journalists use all the time, but there’s another, even more prevalent cliche that has come to the fore over the past couple of years. It’s the “if Bob Gibson and Don Drysdale were still pitching” cliche, and it’s trotted out pretty darn regularly.
The idea is that those two no-nonsense pitchers from a bygone era would not stand for the shenanigans of today’s young whippersnappers. Why, if you flipped your bat, took a slow home run trot, didn’t hitch up your trousers properly or played the loud hippity-hop music when coming up to bat they’d throw a ball at your head. In Gibson’s specific case, actually, the construction is almost always “would plant a ball in your ear.”
We see it trotted out ALL THE TIME. Comment sections (I found nearly 200 HBT comments from the past year invoking them in this way), on Twitter and even from the mouths of players and managers. Here’s Joe Maddon talking about David Ortiz the other day, after his little argument through the media with Rays pitcher Chris Archer:
When Rays manager Joe Maddon was asked about Ortiz’s shtick after having a night to sleep on it, Maddon said: “The simple answer is, what if it had happened in the ’60s when [Bob] Gibson was pitching or [Don] Drysdale was pitching? That answers the question.”
You’re silly, Joe. Bob Gibson hit a batter for every 158 he faced. Don Drysdale hit a batter for ever 94 he faced. Chris Archer has done it every 82 times. So your two historical avatars would be even less likely to do something about it than your man Archer, there.
And yes, I know what you’re going to say: “but they would brush Ortiz back more!” Well, cool. Then brush Ortiz back more. Or, I dunno, pitch as well as Drysdale or Gibson and don’t give him the chance to hit bombs off of you. Short of that, quit using Gibson and Drysdale like this. Drysdale is dead and should be left to rest in peace. Gibson is an older, retired gentleman and probably has things he’d rather do than to have the memory of his playing days used to fight your battles.
But more generally, whether you’re invoking Gibson, Drysdale, Steinbrenner or anything else, quit pretending that things were better back in the day than they are now. Because in baseball as in life, that’s almost always never the case. And when you do it, you just sound like an old fart who can’t enjoy new things or adapt to a new era.
Sep 4, 2015, 2:13 PM EDT
The Matt Harvey controversy is a lot like the Stephen Strasburg shutdown of 2012. But Sandy Alderson is not going to do what Mike Rizzo did, someone close to him says.
Sep 4, 2015, 1:38 PM EDT
Gloves? Who needs a glove?
Sep 4, 2015, 1:10 PM EDT
Adding a 30-homer bat to the lineup.
Sep 4, 2015, 12:44 PM EDT
He’ll miss at least one week.
Sep 4, 2015, 12:29 PM EDT
A good move by ESPN.
Sep 4, 2015, 11:33 AM EDT
Teixeira suffered the injury on August 17.
Sep 4, 2015, 11:03 AM EDT
Just when you thought the Mets would enjoy a smooth, controversy-free final month of the regular season.
Sep 4, 2015, 10:46 AM EDT
Headed for a quick divorce.
Sep 4, 2015, 9:12 AM EDT
Holy moly, these guys are awful.
Sep 4, 2015, 7:29 AM EDT
Carlos Gonzalez hit two homers for the second straight night.
Sep 3, 2015, 11:04 PM EDT
Bryce Harper didn’t have an official at-bat tonight, but he still made a major impact in the Nationals’ 15-1 blowout victory over the Braves.
Sep 3, 2015, 11:00 PM EDT
Stroman threw 4 2/3 hitless innings in his first minor league rehab start.
Sep 3, 2015, 10:29 PM EDT
Tigers shortstop Jose Iglesias was forced to exit Thursday’s game against the Royals in the third inning when he was hit in the hand while trying to drop down a bunt.
Sep 3, 2015, 9:50 PM EDT
The Dodgers called up top prospect Corey Seager today and manager Don Mattingly isn’t wasting any time getting him into the starting lineup…
Sep 3, 2015, 8:46 PM EDT
Murphy had a stint on the disabled list earlier this season due to a left quad strain.
Sep 3, 2015, 7:37 PM EDT
Strasburg left his most recent start on Sunday with discomfort in his upper back, but he’s on track to make his return for a crucial series against the Mets next week.
Sep 3, 2015, 6:50 PM EDT
McCutchen feels “a little sore” and has been “hobbling around a little bit,” so he’ll take a rest before a big series against the Cardinals this weekend.
Sep 3, 2015, 6:13 PM EDT
ESPN has pulled Schilling from their broadcasts for the remainder of the season.
Sep 3, 2015, 4:31 PM EDT
Sentiments like these — of which I’ve seen a few — makes me wonder about Ruben Amaro.
Sep 3, 2015, 4:07 PM EDT
His glute injury proved minor.
- Sandy Alderson is not going to “roll over” for Scott Boras and shut down Matt Harvey 0
- Dodgers are already fed up with 6.56 ERA-pitching, excuse-making Mat Latos 31
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights 55
- Bryce Harper walks in all four of his plate appearances, scores four runs 23
- ESPN pulls Curt Schilling off broadcasts for rest of regular season and Wild Card game 140
- David Ortiz is more likely to be boned in Hall of Fame voting for being a DH than for PED stuff 135
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights 74
- The Marlins are going to change everything except their biggest problem this offseason 53
- Sarah Palin sticks up for Curt Schilling, tells ESPN to “stick to sports” (266)
- ESPN pulls Curt Schilling off broadcasts for rest of regular season and Wild Card game (140)
- David Ortiz is more likely to be boned in Hall of Fame voting for being a DH than for PED stuff (136)
- Matt Williams puts up another strong performance in his quest to get himself fired (107)
- David Ortiz tweets his happiness about the Deflategate decision (100)