Jul 30, 2014, 8:55 AM EDT
I mock the old “If The Boss was still alive” cliche New York journalists use all the time, but there’s another, even more prevalent cliche that has come to the fore over the past couple of years. It’s the “if Bob Gibson and Don Drysdale were still pitching” cliche, and it’s trotted out pretty darn regularly.
The idea is that those two no-nonsense pitchers from a bygone era would not stand for the shenanigans of today’s young whippersnappers. Why, if you flipped your bat, took a slow home run trot, didn’t hitch up your trousers properly or played the loud hippity-hop music when coming up to bat they’d throw a ball at your head. In Gibson’s specific case, actually, the construction is almost always “would plant a ball in your ear.”
We see it trotted out ALL THE TIME. Comment sections (I found nearly 200 HBT comments from the past year invoking them in this way), on Twitter and even from the mouths of players and managers. Here’s Joe Maddon talking about David Ortiz the other day, after his little argument through the media with Rays pitcher Chris Archer:
When Rays manager Joe Maddon was asked about Ortiz’s shtick after having a night to sleep on it, Maddon said: “The simple answer is, what if it had happened in the ’60s when [Bob] Gibson was pitching or [Don] Drysdale was pitching? That answers the question.”
You’re silly, Joe. Bob Gibson hit a batter for every 158 he faced. Don Drysdale hit a batter for ever 94 he faced. Chris Archer has done it every 82 times. So your two historical avatars would be even less likely to do something about it than your man Archer, there.
And yes, I know what you’re going to say: “but they would brush Ortiz back more!” Well, cool. Then brush Ortiz back more. Or, I dunno, pitch as well as Drysdale or Gibson and don’t give him the chance to hit bombs off of you. Short of that, quit using Gibson and Drysdale like this. Drysdale is dead and should be left to rest in peace. Gibson is an older, retired gentleman and probably has things he’d rather do than to have the memory of his playing days used to fight your battles.
But more generally, whether you’re invoking Gibson, Drysdale, Steinbrenner or anything else, quit pretending that things were better back in the day than they are now. Because in baseball as in life, that’s almost always never the case. And when you do it, you just sound like an old fart who can’t enjoy new things or adapt to a new era.
May 29, 2015, 6:55 PM EDT
More than one in two fans of major league baseball prefer having the pitcher hit as opposed to a designated hitter.
May 29, 2015, 6:05 PM EDT
Tuffy Gosewisch may be dealing with a torn ACL, which would likely end his season.
May 29, 2015, 4:50 PM EDT
Wieters hasn’t played in the majors in nearly 13 months.
May 29, 2015, 4:33 PM EDT
Schilling says Amaro lacks self awareness, is elitist and has not been successful as a manager.
May 29, 2015, 3:55 PM EDT
Or much of anything else, really.
May 29, 2015, 3:30 PM EDT
Feldman is in the second season of a three-year, $30 million deal.
May 29, 2015, 3:16 PM EDT
“Wow. That is an EXPLOSION of cheese.”
May 29, 2015, 2:31 PM EDT
Sizemore hit just .250 with three homers and a .657 OPS in 99 games for the Phillies.
May 29, 2015, 2:08 PM EDT
Hint: he was doing it with the Braves too.
May 29, 2015, 1:01 PM EDT
Rios has been out since mid-April.
May 29, 2015, 12:52 PM EDT
43-years-old in years, 16 in temperament.
May 29, 2015, 12:16 PM EDT
Asche spent about three weeks in the minors.
May 29, 2015, 11:50 AM EDT
You can breathe now, Pirates fans. He’s back.
May 29, 2015, 11:19 AM EDT
Crisp is making $11 million this season and is owed $11 million next year.
May 29, 2015, 11:03 AM EDT
“. . . and that’s a good thing.”
May 29, 2015, 10:47 AM EDT
“Not quite ready.”
May 29, 2015, 10:30 AM EDT
Kluber is 3-0 with 50 strikeouts and two walks in his last 32 innings.
May 29, 2015, 10:15 AM EDT
His elbow was very well protected for the interview.
May 29, 2015, 9:01 AM EDT
The latest radical suggestion from the baseball commentariat is like all of the others: it’s a solution in search of a problem.
May 29, 2015, 8:23 AM EDT
Great Moments in Politics.
- More than half of polled baseball fans prefer having the pitcher hit 7
- The Marlins aren’t happy with the Dan Jennings hire 38
- Andrew McCutchen is doing just fine now, thank you 15
- The schedule: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it 69
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights 69
- Eduardo Rodriguez dazzles in major league debut 23
- Masahiro Tanaka expected to rejoin Yankees next week 4
- Alex Rodriguez is the all-time AL RBI champion. Sorta. 76