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Cubs fans have a way to drown their sorrows

Aug 13, 2014, 1:08 PM EDT

But seriously, dudes: lots of good prospects are on the way. Hold out for the Cubs champagne!

  1. Jeremiah Graves - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:10 PM

    Tastes like failure, hot dog water, and skunky beer?!

    • tellyspop - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:32 PM

      I prefer genuine Albertson’s Donkey Urine Vodka, imported from Freedonia, Florida.
      Stay thirsty cuz’.

    • SocraticGadfly - Aug 13, 2014 at 2:59 PM

      Could you imagine Harry Carey getting plastered on this sh!t instead of Dog Style? Hell, he’d be comatose by seventh-inning stretch time.

  2. hojo20 - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:17 PM

    So disgraceful. When is Theo getting fired.

    • 84cubs - Aug 13, 2014 at 3:46 PM

      I seriously doubt Theo had anything to do with this. Its called the PR dept. He’s a bit busy these days with more important things like, oh I don’t know, building the farm system from last to top 3 in the league.

      • unclemosesgreen - Aug 13, 2014 at 7:06 PM

        I think the Cubs have the #1 farm system at this moment.

  3. icanspeel - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:17 PM

    Putting a Cub logo on it probably doesn’t make it taste any better.

  4. El Bravo - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:19 PM

    Tastes like goat balls and trough urinal cakes.

  5. Wesley Clark - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:26 PM

    No thanks. I’ll stick to a pint of Angry Orchard with a shot of Fireball…and yelling at my Gary Scott cardboard cut out.

  6. penguins87and71 - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:27 PM

    Cubs fans should be excited. They have a extremely bright future. The NL Central is going to be pretty tough in the future with the Reds, Cardinals, Brewers, Pirates, and Cubs.

  7. chill1184 - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:29 PM

    I’m one of the few fans of a bad team that really doesn’t drink. Drinking never really appealed to me

    • downvotesforeveryone - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:39 PM

      *General Zod voice* HERESY!

    • El Bravo - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:46 PM

      Put down the joint, brah.

      • chill1184 - Aug 13, 2014 at 5:42 PM

        Naw I dont smoke either

  8. tn16 - Aug 13, 2014 at 2:18 PM

    Aged over 100 years

    • stex52 - Aug 13, 2014 at 2:42 PM

      I generally hate the thumbs and don’t use them. But you, my friend, get a thumbs up for that one.

  9. dowhatifeellike - Aug 13, 2014 at 2:31 PM

    At least it’s not Svedka. That stuff tastes like rubbing alcohol.

    • nothanksimdriving123 - Aug 13, 2014 at 3:38 PM

      OK, glad to know I’m not the only one who always pours a glass of rubbing alcohol to do taste comparisons with whatever else I’m drinking.

  10. 4d3fect - Aug 13, 2014 at 2:41 PM

    Cubs fans have a new way to drown their sorrows.

    -FTFY

  11. jwbiii - Aug 13, 2014 at 3:04 PM

    I bought a couple of bottles of Cubs champagne after the ’84 NL East title. After they lost the NLCS, the prices were quite low. It made Andre taste good by comparison. I’m sure there is something lousier available, I have no desire to find it.

  12. SocraticGadfly - Aug 13, 2014 at 3:05 PM

    @CraigCalcaterra Are you and the crack NBC Photoshopping staff going to invent versions for all 30 teams for a fan-trolling post in the near future?

  13. eutawmike - Aug 13, 2014 at 3:18 PM

    mmm…goat balls and cake

  14. rickrenteria - Aug 13, 2014 at 3:30 PM

    That is from the Wirtz family, the Chicago liquor purveyors who own the Chicago Blackhawks and who also poached from the Cubs one of the great front-office guys in sports, John McDonough.

    • DJ MC - Aug 13, 2014 at 5:25 PM

      I was actually coming through the comments to ask if that was the same “Wirtz”. Interesting.

  15. mckludge - Aug 13, 2014 at 4:33 PM

    Not sure if vodka is a Chicago thing, but you could to the same with regional liquors, like a Rum bottle for the Miami Marlins, Kentucky Bourbon for the Reds (since Cincinnati is basically north Kentucky), Whiskey for the Colorado Rockies, moonshine for the Braves.

    • SocraticGadfly - Aug 13, 2014 at 10:03 PM

      Whiskey for the Rockies in the homeland of Coors? I don’t think so.

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