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The time Dee Gordon threw 944 pitches and lost a game by the score of 164-16

Aug 13, 2014, 12:31 PM EDT

dee gordon getty Getty Images

Also, Adam Dunn ht 81 home runs. One of them did anyway. There were 25 of them. There were also 25 Bartolo Colons, Dee Gordons, and Koji Ueharas. They all played against each other in a four team league.

Confused? You won’t be, after reading Patrick Dubuque’s description of his Clone Baseball League:

Thus I began this mad, stupid experiment. The premise is simple: using everyone’s favorite realistic baseball simulation, Out of the Park 2015, I created teams of baseball players by cloning a single player until they filled the active roster, and set them against each other in 162 games of gory combat. The results exceeded my wildest expectations.

The four teams in the CBL (Clone Baseball League) are:

• The Adam Dunns
• The Dee Gordons
• The Bartolo Colons
• The Koji Ueharas

The results are even crazier than the premise. Let’s just say that Dee Gordon — one of them; I forget which — has a serious grievance with his team and its medical staff.

I love this stuff. Jon Bois of SB Nation did this with football last year in his “Breaking Madden” series. I used to do rudimentary versions of this with weird baseball simulators from the 1980s and 1990s (I was a big Lance Hafner fan). It’s fun to play God. And often hilarious.

  1. maddog11896 - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:08 PM

    Out of the Park Baseball is probably the best and most realistic overall baseball simulator out there. It’s not for those who like the 2K or The Show series, it’s more an amazing franchise simulator.

    • yahmule - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:16 PM

      Nothing more realistic than a guy who weighs a buck-sixty throwing 944 pitches.

      ;~)

      • asimonetti88 - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:33 PM

        Or Adam Dunn winning a Gold Glove in Center Field

      • jarathen - Aug 13, 2014 at 4:08 PM

        When he is the only pitcher, he has to. But most games are built with an expectation that the player will more or less approximate the real sport. Once you put 25 players that are identical on the same team, you kind of lose the real simulation aspect.

        I am in my 20th season of a fictional league. It is fun and you could play for hundreds of years. Beyond that, the leagues evolve and change. My fictional league just expanded, lowered active rosters to 24 players, and changed DL stints to 22 days.

      • rje49 - Aug 13, 2014 at 4:17 PM

        944 pitches? That was the norm for a week during the 1880’s when one guy did 95% of all the pitching.

    • pixteca - Aug 13, 2014 at 10:57 PM

      Apples and oranges…

    • cktai - Aug 14, 2014 at 2:25 AM

      I wasn’t aware OOTP wasn’t for me because I also like the 2K series. And just when I was about to win the world series with the Orioles :(

  2. sleepyirv - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:16 PM

    What happen to fake Dee Gordon has created in me a lot of sympathy for real Dee Gordon.

  3. jdd428 - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:35 PM

    I am co-commish on a sim league that has been using Diamond Mind for the longest time (although it started on Hafner way back when), and we’ve been fairly pleased. But is OOTP better?

    • stinkfist5 - Aug 13, 2014 at 1:58 PM

      Been playing OOTP for years, excellent game and it gets better each year.

      • skids003 - Aug 13, 2014 at 2:12 PM

        Does it have old time teams and players?

      • noodles73 - Aug 13, 2014 at 2:39 PM

        You can even play a season with minor leaguers in OOTP. I played a simulated Carolina League season. Players kept getting promoted and demoted throughout the year which made things interesting.

        THE best baseball game out there IMO.

  4. oregoncoastdailynews - Aug 13, 2014 at 2:26 PM

    Reminds me of Calvin & Hobbes “Duplicator” used just twice. The first time it was used, Calvin made a duplicate of himself to clean his room while he went outside. The clone objected, and went to play outside. After the clone left, Hobbes remarked, “He’s a duplicate of you, all right,” to which Calvin replied, “What do you mean? This guy is a total jerk!”

    • asimonetti88 - Aug 13, 2014 at 3:54 PM

      The second time he duplicated himself, only the “good version” of himself. But after falling in love with Susie Derkins, he got in a fight with Calvin, only to show that even his “good” side was bad. LOVE Calvin and Hobbes

  5. larrytsg - Aug 13, 2014 at 4:45 PM

    How did Adam Dunn get over 1000 plate appearances and yet only strikeout 154 times?

    • bfunk1978 - Aug 13, 2014 at 5:04 PM

      he was batting against terrible pitchers. He walked almost 40% of the time. Of the 650AB he struck out at less than his usual rate because the pitchers were mostly terrible.

  6. brazcubas - Aug 13, 2014 at 5:44 PM

    Jon Bois also broke the NBA earlier this year using NBA Y2K.

    http://www.sbnation.com/nba/2014/6/3/5772796/nba-y2k-series-finale-the-death-of-basketball

  7. stercuilus65 - Aug 13, 2014 at 7:43 PM

    Loved Lance Haffner games…

  8. jerze2387 - Aug 13, 2014 at 9:13 PM

    I absolutely have to try this with mlb the show. Sadly I think I’ll just be limited to rookies. Would have enjoyed making the Paul konerkos

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