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FYI: The “Homer at the Bat” episode will air this morning at 11:30AM Eastern

Aug 22, 2014, 8:55 AM EST

Sideburns

For those unaware, the FXX network is currently running a marathon of every “Simpsons” episode ever. When I went to sleep last night the one where Bart ruined Thanksgiving by tossing Lisa’s centerpiece into the fire had just aired. It’s somewhere in the third season right now. At 11:30 Eastern this morning one of the best early-season episodes of the show will air: the baseball-themed “Homer at the Bat” episode.

For those unfamiliar — and if you are, it’s probably because you’re some painfully young person, for whom 1992 was either far too early to have formed coherent thoughts or (shudder) before you were born — “Homer at the Bat” features a ton of actual Major League Baseball player cameos. Roger Clemens, Daryl Strawberry, Ken Griffey, Jr., Wade Boggs, Jose Canseco, Ozzie Smith, Don Mattingly and many others. They were assembled by Mr. Burns in order to create a ringer softball team. Calamity strikes, however, zaniness ensues, etc. etc.

A couple of years ago, Erik Malinowski wrote a history of the episode over at Deadspin, and it’s must-read material for both hardcore “Simpsons” fans and anyone with affection for baseball players of the 80s and early 90s.

But before reading it: shave those sideburns.

  1. stoutfiles - Aug 22, 2014 at 8:59 AM

    Homer Simpson: You’re Darryl Strawberry!

    Darryl Strawberry: Yes.

    Homer Simpson: You play right field.

    Darryl Strawberry: Yes.

    Homer Simpson: I play right field too.

    Darryl Strawberry: So?

    Homer Simpson: Well, are you better than me?

    Darryl Strawberry: Well, I’ve never met you, but… yes.

    • kopy - Aug 22, 2014 at 10:13 AM

      Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax’s license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.

      Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn’t know anything about that now, would you, Steve?

      Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.

      Officer Lou: You don’t know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxy Boy?

    • carpi2 - Aug 22, 2014 at 10:42 AM

      You know you loved the episode, when merely reading an excerpt from the transcript makes you laugh out loud! Thanks for the chuckle while at work!

  2. bdunker - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:06 AM

    Awesome, dude. What do we watch after that? Beavis and Butthead?
    I feel my mind melting, already.

  3. Hard On For Harden - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:14 AM

    Strawberry takes right field in the championship game.
    Lisa: You stink Strawberry! We want Home Run Homer!
    Bart: Darrrryl! Darrrryl!
    Bart & Lisa: Darrrryl! Darrrryl!
    Marge: Children, that’s not very nice.
    Lisa: Mom, they’re professional athletes. They’re used to this sort of thing. It rolls right off their back.
    [Strawberry sheds a tear.]

  4. smoochytherhino - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:15 AM

    Not to make a mountain out of a mole hill, bdunker. But comparing The Simpsons, especially through about season 10 or 11 to a show like Beavis and Butthead is just crazy.

    The first decade of the Simpsons rivals any show…ever. And for the record, the two scenes from the Homer at the Bat episode that get me every time is when Burns tries to show the team how to bunt and the ball hits the bat and sends Burns flying, and the scene when Burns tries to give Homer signs when he’s at bat before getting beaned and scoring the winning run.

    Classic Simpsons and baseball. Doesn’t get much better than that.

    • jm91rs - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:27 AM

      Woah, where was the spoiler alert warning? You just ruined 11:30 am for me today dude.

      • smoochytherhino - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:31 AM

        Haha my mistake. I’ll be reliving the final Seinfeld episode later. Tune out if your one of the three people on the planet that missed it.

      • jcmeyer10 - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:40 AM

        Spoilers don’t exist for an episode aired over ten years ago.

      • jm91rs - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:48 AM

        If I could remember every TV show I watched 10 years ago my brain would be full. It’s gonna be like seeing it for the first time again.

  5. tfbuckfutter - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:16 AM

    I still like him better than Steinbrenner.

    Still my favorite episode but I may enjoy Lisa on Ice more these days.

    • jarathen - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:17 AM

      Mattingly! I told you to shave those sideburns! Go home! You’re off the team for good!

  6. freedomofspeechyesway - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:17 AM

    We’re talking Soooooooooftballlllllllll

    Awesome.

    • jarathen - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:35 AM

      Well, Mr. Burns had done it.

  7. sdelmonte - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:27 AM

    The best Simpsons foray into baseball, which includes influencing the name of a real minor league team, Dancin’ Homer and the Capital City Goof, and Mark McGwire offering what he really should have said to Congress. (I know there is a Moneyball episode, but I stopped watching more years ago than I watched.)

    And Barney and Boggs are both wrong. Churchill (WWII only).

  8. longfootlefty - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:44 AM

    Bart – Wow! How many home runs you gonna hit with that?

    Homer – Lets see, we play 30 games, 10 at-bats a game….3,000.

  9. number42is1 - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:55 AM

    Been planning my week around it… yes i have all the classic episodes.. but this is different.. for some reason

    • Alex K - Aug 22, 2014 at 10:04 AM

      Took you longer to comment than I thought it would. I guess you are too busy watching?

      • number42is1 - Aug 22, 2014 at 11:56 AM

        Been watching almost non stop since about 5pm yesterday…

        I FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA EXPLODE HERE!

  10. tigers182 - Aug 22, 2014 at 9:57 AM

    This is one of the best episodes of any show, ever!

  11. karlkolchak - Aug 22, 2014 at 10:07 AM

    For me, this episode marked the show’s high point (I gave it up after season five). Hard to believe it aired 22 years ago already.

    • khearn101 - Aug 22, 2014 at 10:15 AM

      After season 9 it went downhill for me. Between these 2 seasons it turned into a Looney Tunes-type show that wasn’t entertaining or funny.

  12. 18thstreet - Aug 22, 2014 at 10:15 AM

    Some of these guys got a bad attitude, Skip.

  13. kalinedrive - Aug 22, 2014 at 10:27 AM

    Using my handy TiVo app on my handy cellphone, I was able to tell my handy living room TiVo to record this show for me while I am at work.

    This comment was brought to you by TiVo.

  14. El Bravo - Aug 22, 2014 at 11:17 AM

    Well Mr.Burns had done it.
    The Power Plant had won it.
    With Roger Clemens clucking all the while,
    Mike Socia’s tragic illness made us smile,
    While Wade Boggs laid unconscious on the bar-room tile.

    Chorus:
    We’re talkin’ softball.
    From Maine to San Diego.
    Talking softball, Mattingly and Conseco,
    Ken Griffey’s grotesquely swollen jaw
    Steve Sax and his run-in with the law,
    We’re talking Homer…..Ozzie and the Straw.

  15. bender4700 - Aug 22, 2014 at 11:54 AM

    Best show ever. One of the best episodes ever.

    It’s an awesome week right now.

  16. linhsiu - Aug 22, 2014 at 1:10 PM

    Whoah…whoah… I sense some nostalgia here…

    Let me help put that all into perspective…

    http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2014/08/22/an-important-note-on-nostalgia/

  17. devilsmetsgiants - Aug 22, 2014 at 6:04 PM

    I will touch my belt buckle not once, not twice, but thrice.

    • sportsfanjay - Aug 22, 2014 at 6:18 PM

      “But thrice…” Awesome.
      I challenge someone to use the word “thrice” in a sentence before you go home tonight.
      Please document.

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