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Tonight the Rangers can be the first team mathematically eliminated from the playoffs

Sep 2, 2014, 3:06 PM EST

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Bob Timmermann of the Portable Griddle keeps track of each team being eliminated each year. He calls it his MLB Death Watch. Today is is first installment. Hope you’re enjoying the last (technically) meaningful baseball of the season, Rangers fans, because it could be all over tonight:

Bob notes that the Rangers will be mathematically eliminated from postseason play tonight if they lose to the Royals and the Tigers beat Cleveland.

Bring out your dead. Starting tonight, maybe.

  1. Conner012367 - Sep 2, 2014 at 3:13 PM

    Uh Craig, Um the season is dead, I’ve (and other rangers fans) have moved on and hope next year is a whole lot better than this year.

    • jkcalhoun - Sep 2, 2014 at 3:22 PM

      There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.

      Although perhaps in this case not so much.

      • number42is1 - Sep 2, 2014 at 3:25 PM

        what do you do when one is all dead?

      • raysfan1 - Sep 2, 2014 at 8:05 PM

        “Go through his clothes and look for loose change.”
        –Miracle Max

  2. jrbdmb - Sep 2, 2014 at 3:32 PM

    MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead!
    [clang]
    Bring out your dead!
    [clang]
    Bring out your dead!
    [clang]
    CUSTOMER: Here’s one — nine pence.
    TEXAS: I’m not dead!
    MORTICIAN: What?
    CUSTOMER: Nothing — here’s your nine pence.
    TEXAS: I’m not dead!
    MORTICIAN: Here — he says he’s not dead!
    CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
    TEXAS: I’m not!
    MORTICIAN: He isn’t.
    CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
    TEXAS: I’m getting better!
    CUSTOMER: No, you’re not — you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
    MORTICIAN: Oh, I can’t take him like that — it’s against regulations.
    TEXAS: I don’t want to go in the cart!
    CUSTOMER: Oh, don’t be such a baby.
    MORTICIAN: I can’t take him…
    TEXAS: I feel fine!
    CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor…
    MORTICIAN: I can’t.
    CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won’t
    be long.
    MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson’s — they’ve lost nine
    today.
    CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
    MORTICIAN: Thursday.
    TEXAS: I think I’ll go for a walk.
    CUSTOMER: You’re not fooling anyone y’know. Look, isn’t there
    something you can do?
    TEXAS: I feel happy… I feel happy.
    [WHOP!]
    CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
    MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
    CUSTOMER: Right.

    • raysfan1 - Sep 2, 2014 at 8:07 PM

      +1000 for the excellent adaptation of Monty Python, thanks!

  3. historiophiliac - Sep 2, 2014 at 3:33 PM

    Nooooo!!!!! Go down swinging! Take another from the Royals. Put yer big cowboy boots on! >:(

  4. 18thstreet - Sep 2, 2014 at 3:58 PM

    Make me commissioner, and I’ll force each team to hold a ceremony at the first home game after this takes place. The ceremony will coincide with free tomato day, and will consist of a speech from the team’s owner.

    • nbjays - Sep 2, 2014 at 4:04 PM

      And whoever can hit the owner (who is standing on 2nd base) in the face with a tomato from the stands, gets signed to a pitching contract for next season.

      • 18thstreet - Sep 2, 2014 at 4:51 PM

        Don’t be ridiculous. The plan is that 40,000 people are going to throw tomatoes at the owner. Whatever happens AFTER that is not a matter of concern to the office of the commissioner.

        C’mon. Think a little.

      • 18thstreet - Sep 2, 2014 at 4:53 PM

        And who’s to say that the fans would throw their tomatoes at all? The end of summer is the end of tomato season. That’s the only thing Free Tomato Day and [Your Team] Gets Eliminated Day have in common.

        I expect the fans will behave with decorum. And if they can’t handle the responsibilities, then we can change things up after 10 or 15 years.

    • sportsdrenched - Sep 2, 2014 at 4:37 PM

      I need some clarification here. Are talking about the first team to be eliminated? The first 10?

      What’s the cutoff here? Only one team ends the season NOT eliminated.

      • clemente2 - Sep 2, 2014 at 5:26 PM

        Read.

      • cshearing - Sep 3, 2014 at 8:10 AM

        The title: “Tonight the Rangers can be the first team mathematically eliminated from the playoffs”.

        I fail to see how confusion could apply here.

    • number42is1 - Sep 3, 2014 at 10:26 AM

      no no no… we give them pretzels to throw… we can call them whitey wackers!

  5. simon94022 - Sep 2, 2014 at 5:52 PM

    After they are eliminated, aren’t the Rangers supposed to poll their fans to determine what kind of luxury car the team is?

    • sumerduckman - Sep 2, 2014 at 6:23 PM

      Yugo?

  6. tmc602014 - Sep 2, 2014 at 6:39 PM

    Let’s see what’s ion tap for the Texas Rangers this month: KC as noted, then Seattle, Angels, Atlanta, A’s, Angels, Astros, and A’s. So nearly every team in the division is basically hoping Texas wakes up against the other teams to give them an easier path. The term “meaningful” is overused. Those games against Texas are necessary if the A’s (seven games) or Angels (six games) want to enter the postseason on a high note. That’s quite meaningful.

  7. binarymath - Sep 2, 2014 at 7:05 PM

    This article was meant as a joke, but Timmermann may be on to something for (nearly) eliminated teams.

    WHAT IF: the roster expansion to 40 players was based on their “tragic number” instead of the arbitrary Sept 1 date?

    When a team is close to clinching a division or Wild Card berth, it’s called the “magic number”. For teams facing elimination, call it the “tragic number”. Start on Aug 21, and set the number to 10. Then let teams go to 40 if their tragic number is less than 10. Next day, drop it to 9, and so on until everyone can go to 40 players on Sept 1. May have to tweak the formula, but you get the idea.

    That creates some fan interest in teams with lost seasons, and lets them see some of the young call-ups before school starts. It might also let death-watch teams add enough players to play spoiler against the pennant-chasing teams.

    And finally, it could create an element of strategy if the extra games in August influenced team control of players in future contract years. My guess is teams would want to bargain to retain control, and MLBPA would want more players for more games. There’s a deal to be made in there somewhere…

    At worst, it would create a little fan interest among the eliminated teams. At best, a team like Texas could make things tough on a pennant contender with the extra depth for 8 games or so.

    Comments?

  8. scotttheskeptic - Sep 2, 2014 at 10:05 PM

    Actually, going in to play tonight, the Rangers’ E# (per MLB.com) is at 4. They would be eliminated from the first Wild card only.

  9. slappymcknucklepunch - Sep 3, 2014 at 12:58 AM

    Okay,so the worse team in Texas is who we all know it would be from the preseason picks is,not so fast Houston,give it a bit.

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