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Bring Back Steroids

Sep 3, 2014, 4:30 PM EDT

I love a good pitchers’ duel. Really, pitching is my jam. But, like, every game, every day gets a bit old. Right now, here’s what we have going down in baseball:



Maybe a little offense would be nice? Some happy medium between 1999 and today?

  1. sdelmonte - Sep 3, 2014 at 4:39 PM

    Not steroids. Greenies. Day games after night games? I bet in the good old days, a ton of players, even ones who didn’t go green every day, were eating them like M&Ms.

    Also, I assume that these are getaway games. You know how often teams don’t get up for getaway games.

    And when Lester faces King Felix, I expect that sort of game.

    Lastly, you are very selective, as the Braves beat the Phils 7-4, and the Giants have nine hits (if only two runs).

    • fabiani1233 - Sep 3, 2014 at 4:43 PM

      And managers tend to play their backups for getaway games.

    • jfk69 - Sep 3, 2014 at 10:06 PM

      Yes to the freak league.
      Donald Trump as an owner. Canseco as a mgr.
      With his experience and blind eye during the Sosa McGuire home run derby , I nominate buddy boy Seelig as the league Comish.
      Now we only need to get the Feds on-board.

    • grumpyoleman - Sep 4, 2014 at 9:04 AM

      Players have energy drinks and Mountain Dew for that now.

      • Kevin S. - Sep 5, 2014 at 8:36 AM

        As someone who has been prescribed moderate dosages of amphetamines, the two aren’t even in the same ballpark in terms of effectiveness.

  2. fabiani1233 - Sep 3, 2014 at 4:41 PM

    Bring back Greenies. It helped a lot with day games after night games.

    • kcroyal - Sep 3, 2014 at 4:49 PM

      Wes Welker approves.

      • scoochpooch - Sep 3, 2014 at 4:55 PM

        Wes succeeded because he was a roid freak. Knew he couldn’t do it naturally at 4’6″.

      • asimonetti88 - Sep 3, 2014 at 6:40 PM

        Welker was suspended for MDMA, pretty sure that has nothing to do with steroids.

      • [citation needed] fka COPO - Sep 3, 2014 at 7:25 PM

        He was suspended for amphetamines, the league doesn’t test for MDMA.

        Welker’s alternate theory for how PED-class amphetamines showed up on his drug test? He’s not sure, but he wonders if somebody slipped something into his drink.

      • SocraticGadfly - Sep 3, 2014 at 8:14 PM

        Yeah, Welker’s trying out his different lies right now, to see which one the public buys.

      • raysfan1 - Sep 3, 2014 at 8:22 PM

        Someone should remind him he plays football. If he plays well after serving his 4-game suspension, nobody will say another word about it.

      • yahmule - Sep 3, 2014 at 9:44 PM

        Only 13% of the Molly confiscated in New York over the last four years has any MDMA in it.

  3. brewcrewfan54 - Sep 3, 2014 at 4:42 PM

    I’m all for it. I want to see a 900 foot homerun and 110mph fastball.

  4. scoochpooch - Sep 3, 2014 at 4:58 PM

    How about instead of roids we have batters who try to hit singles/doubles instead of HRs? How about we have some athletes to join the game who can steal bases and not get injured running slowly to 1st base? the removal of one trick ponies like Ortiz, Dunn, Choo, Teixeira, Bruce, etc., is not a bad thing for the game. Baseball just like the market tends towards self-correction, no need for hands to get involved.

    • Bryz - Sep 3, 2014 at 5:09 PM

      Please explain how any of those guys are one-trick ponies.

      • sandwiches4ever - Sep 3, 2014 at 5:12 PM

        Specifically, Choo–I mean, holy crap, talk about off base on that one (horrendous 2014 season notwithstanding).

        I think he just looked at low AVG, high-ish power guys. Because apparently there are only two tricks.

    • hackerjay - Sep 3, 2014 at 5:27 PM

      you realize that the height of the singles/doubles and speed era is the ’70s and ’80s, and they had some of the lowest scoring environments since the deadball era.

  5. SocraticGadfly - Sep 3, 2014 at 5:03 PM

    Bring back pre-Internet, non-blogging baseball commenters.

    Craig, why didn’t you put the “baseball is dying” header on this while you were at it?

    • chaseutley - Sep 3, 2014 at 5:22 PM

      Meh… He’s having fun. Probably should have used a screen shot of the NBC Sports scoreboard, though. Tisk, tisk, Craig,

    • drunkhistorian - Sep 3, 2014 at 6:46 PM

      Then who would you beg for a hat tip from when tweeting “breaking” news?

  6. tigers182 - Sep 3, 2014 at 5:16 PM

    My dog loves Greenies and totally helps his poo.

  7. Carl Hancock - Sep 3, 2014 at 5:33 PM

    Steroids aren’t the only reason offense is down. The league wide adoption of the defensive shift by teams is having a major impact on the offense in today’s game.

    It’s sapping power as players try to beat the shift which ultimately means they aren’t hitting like they normally would. Matt Adams of the Cardinals is a good example. He’s been one of the best at beating the shift this season, but it’s sapped his power. And this is a kid who has power.

    After seeing the Dodgers pull that ridiculous 4 man shift last week I have to admit that I wouldn’t mind one bit if MLB implemented rule changes to that the shift could no longer usable by infield defenses.

    The shift isn’t going to go anywhere so unless MLB does something about it then things aren’t going to change much as far as offensive numbers and boring regular season games.

    Because let’s be real, all these close games aren’t because of amazing pitching duels. Watching 2 pitchers destroy each others offense can be fun. But watching average pitchers backed by teams pulling the shift all the damn time and the end result being outs that would have previously been hits is not exciting as a fan.

    • [citation needed] fka COPO - Sep 3, 2014 at 5:36 PM

      Also don’t forget that the strikeout rate is skyrocketing, hard to score runs if you can’t put the ball in play.

    • brewcrewfan54 - Sep 3, 2014 at 6:04 PM

      I hate the idea of changing rules to not allow defensive shifts. If you want teams to quit shifting for players those players should learn to beat the shift often enough where other teams quit doing it to them.

      • clemente2 - Sep 3, 2014 at 6:12 PM

        Yes. The shift works because hitters are trying to pummel it rather than go around it. Once you go around it, the shifts will have to adjust. Its why Pujols used to put down bunts every once in awhile, when he could run. Keeps the 3rd basemen honest.

      • Carl Hancock - Sep 3, 2014 at 7:19 PM

        Not every player is Pujols, etc. Do not assume that every hitter in baseball can hit for average, power or both to EVERY field. Far from it. Most cannot.

        The shift doesn’t just work by getting the hitter out when he hits it right where the defenders are, it also works by sapping power from hitters. A big lefty comes up who’s strength is pulling the ball. He plays against the shift and dinks a single to the left side. The shift did it’s job.

        My example of Matt Adams will show you exactly this. He’s been one of the best at beating the shift this season. He’s also a big strong lefty who likes to pull the ball. The end result? He’s beaten the shift. A lot. But it’s been at the expense of his power.

        If every hitter was capable of beating the shift consistently and effectively… the shift wouldn’t be used the way it is. If you don’t think players aren’t already trying to beat the shift, you’re nuts.

      • brewcrewfan54 - Sep 3, 2014 at 7:21 PM

        These are the best hitters in the world. Figure it out. They all speak of making adjustments. Here’s another to make. No it wont be easy.

    • yahmule - Sep 3, 2014 at 9:46 PM

      I think you’re exaggerating the impact of the shift, Carl.

      • Paper Lions - Sep 4, 2014 at 8:25 AM

        Indeed, a good shift employed all year long might save a team 10-20 runs over a season. That isn’t a large enough effect for most people to notice and is a drop in the bucket WRT offensive decline over the last few years. For the first time since most of use have been alive, players can’t take amphetamines every day, and the strike zone has gotten HUGE over the last several years compared to the matchbox sized zone of the 90s.

    • tmc602014 - Sep 4, 2014 at 2:47 AM

      I can’t see the shift doing away if it’s effective. It’s a natural reaction to many of today’s hitters, who don’t “hit ’em where they ain’t”. If management sacrifices good players in favor of those who strike out 200 times a year, the shift will work. All that is needed is some ballplayers, rather than specialists who don’t work the field to keep the defense honest.

      • Paper Lions - Sep 4, 2014 at 8:28 AM

        Hitters today are no different than those of any other era. What is different is the data available that can be used to inform defensive positioning.

  8. sportsfan18 - Sep 3, 2014 at 5:45 PM

    MLB is averaging 4.10 runs per game right now, it’s lowest since the 1981 season, which is more than 30 yrs ago…

    From 1973 to today, only 2 seasons have averaged fewer runs per game than this season.

    When looking at over 40 yrs of records, that is saying something.

    No, baseball isn’t dying, but it isn’t in a great spot with the games taking so long with so very little action and hits.

    We know that the better relief pitching and match ups has lowered the batting averages as there are many studies showing this.

    7 out of the last 8 seasons the average total runs scored per game has gone down and it’s reached a very low point.

    This isn’t a one or two year blip is my point. Last yr it was 4.17 runs per game and that was the 3rd lowest in the last 25 yrs.

    At some point, those running the game are going to have to take action vs. just think about it.

    info from here

    • SocraticGadfly - Sep 3, 2014 at 8:12 PM

      And, 40 years ago, teams didn’t strike out like this.

      That said, there is a way … Whiteyball!

      • tmc602014 - Sep 4, 2014 at 2:52 AM

        Herzog Lives! I’d love to see it…

  9. perryt200 - Sep 3, 2014 at 7:00 PM

    Oh come on. I guess no one watched the Cards / Pirates today. Carlos Martinez pitched to last years MVP Andrew McCutchen with two outs and a man on in a 0-0 game. Twelve or more pitches, full count, finally got the strike out with McCuthen swinging.

    That was baseball worth watching. Well, that and the Cards won in the bottom of the 9th.

  10. thatsnuckinfuts - Sep 3, 2014 at 7:32 PM

    Gotta love when Craig posts garbage like this and pretends that many parents out there haven’t lost their children to steroid related deaths. I mean hell we only have a handful of dead kids who told others they started because they wanted to be pro ball players.

    With any luck Craig will lose someone close to him due to steroid abuse and maybe then he will shut the fúck up about them and stop pretending like they ain’t a big deal.

    But ya, funny stuff, a light-hearted posts about how great steroids are in sporting entertainment, and how they should be brought back.

    • thatsnuckinfuts - Sep 3, 2014 at 7:33 PM

      From now on, I’m referring to Craig as Sloth from Goonies, dead ringer for him.

    • scoutsaysweitersisabust - Sep 3, 2014 at 7:57 PM

      I bet you are a real treat to take to parties. Or a comedy club. Or out in public.

    • [citation needed] fka COPO - Sep 3, 2014 at 8:11 PM

      Gotta love when Craig posts garbage like this and pretends that many parents out there haven’t lost their children to steroid related deaths.

      Far more parents lose their kids to illicit drug use and/or alcohol, on the order of magnitudes greater than steroid use. Where’s your outrage for that?

      With any luck Craig will lose someone close to him due to steroid abuse and maybe then he will shut the fúck up about them and stop pretending like they ain’t a big deal.

      They aren’t, see above. And nice sentiment assclown.

  11. scoutsaysweitersisabust - Sep 3, 2014 at 7:56 PM

    Um….Craig. Why are you browsing the 4 letter network’s website? For shame. For shame.

    Let me help you out for future reference.

  12. randomjoeblow - Sep 3, 2014 at 8:02 PM

    It’s funny that Craig is trying to be sarcastic when he says, “Bring Back Steroids”, but, honestly, according to his posts…he clearly wouldn’t mind just bringing back steroids..

  13. scoutsaysweitersisabust - Sep 3, 2014 at 8:07 PM

    As I read this, the Orioles have hit 3 home runs in the first 4 innings. (Schoop, Lough, Davis)

    I love irony.

    • indaburg - Sep 3, 2014 at 8:25 PM

      What irony? Clearly, the Orioles read this and juiced before the game.

      Seriously, Craig gets paid to watch baseball all afternoon. I hate him.

      • scoutsaysweitersisabust - Sep 3, 2014 at 8:50 PM

        You’ve discovered the secret ingredient that Nelson Cruz’s wife/girlfriend/significant-other bakes into every meal before the game!

  14. Ren Ignatiago - Sep 3, 2014 at 8:51 PM

    I’m against this… I’d rather have them use sugar.

  15. NatsLady - Sep 3, 2014 at 9:34 PM

    Craig, if you fell asleep on Nats-Dodgers when it was 0-0 you missed THIS game.

    • someguyinva - Sep 3, 2014 at 10:52 PM

      Had to abandon the telecast of that one in the 7th to drive SomeDaughterInVA to basketball practice.

      Listened to it on the radio in the car, arrived at practice and turned off the car as Harper was coming to bat in the 9th. Was stunned to get in the car more than 90 minutes later to find the game still on.

      Heard the Nats go up 5-3, and then blow that lead, but made it home in time to watch the 14th. What fun that was.

  16. yahmule - Sep 3, 2014 at 9:50 PM

    Craig and the rest of you kids can always buy some spanking new Playstation 4’s and knock yourselves out playing 10-8 games in 30 minutes. Real baseball fans are enjoying a return to real baseball.

  17. kc114 - Sep 4, 2014 at 3:39 AM

    I’d rather have lower scoring games than the roid/beer league slow pitch softball games. Now when there’s a run scored it actually means something.

  18. jerseydevi1 - Sep 4, 2014 at 9:21 AM

    Just a quick note on the shift. While I loathe seeing it in use, it is hardly a new phenomenon and actually, according to John Montgomery Ward of the 1888 New York Giants the Third baseman should: For a batter who hits along the foul-line, he will play nearer his base, and for one who invariably hits toward right-field, he will move around toward second base, going, in some instances, even as far as the short-stop’s regular position.*

    Now, I know this is real old-timey; pre-glove stuff, but since we as baseball fans love our history as we do, it should be pointed out that even in the infancy of the game, this was considered an effective and normal strategy.

    I was reading this book and since I have my own issues with the shift, found that statement to be interesting. Just passing it on. The book itself is an interesting read and a fun look back at the beginnings of the game we all love.

    *Base-Ball: How to Become a Player: With the Origin, History and Explanation of the Game By John Montgomery Ward of the New York Base-Ball Club, written in 1888. Chapter 7, regarding the third baseman. Found at:

  19. jerseydevi1 - Sep 4, 2014 at 9:26 AM

    Two more links just for fun regarding John Montgomery (Monte) Ward:

    For those who are interested in that kind of stuff. Forgive the wikipedia reference, but based on what I know about Ward, most of it is accurate, so I used it for the sake of laziness and ease of consolidation.

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