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Tweet of the Day: Grimace vs. Count Chocula

Apr 8, 2014, 1:02 PM EDT

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I was partial to saying that Aaron Harang looked like Peter Boyle in “Young Frankenstein,” but I gotta admit, this is way better:

Ugliest pitching matchup of all time? It has to be top 5.

  1. cur'68 - Apr 8, 2014 at 1:08 PM

    Until Alexi Ogando takes on Vicente Padilla this’ll do. Oh the humanity…

  2. kardshark1 - Apr 8, 2014 at 1:18 PM

    Willie McGee faced Scottie Pippen in a celebrity softball game once.

    • vivabear - Apr 8, 2014 at 1:35 PM

      Bonus points for using “faced.”

  3. NYTolstoy - Apr 8, 2014 at 1:21 PM

    Is colon ugly because he’s fat? If that’s what your going for then I take offense. And you seem to have a thing with looks Craig.

    Doesn’t the saying go something like Pot calling the kettle black? I forget but point is your ugly.

    Thank you.

    • tfbuckfutter - Apr 8, 2014 at 1:42 PM

      Is Bartolo’s face 5 times the size of a normal person’s face because he’s fat?

      If so, then yes, he’s ugly because he’s fat.

      • NYTolstoy - Apr 8, 2014 at 1:45 PM

        Saying a person is ugly because he’s fat is utter nonsense.

      • cur'68 - Apr 8, 2014 at 1:49 PM

        I think of Bartolo as “roly poly”. Not so much fat as “padded”. That’s why my nickname for him is “The Dugong”. So to me he isn’t ugly due to pudginess, but rather arresting-looking since I don’t often see dugong’s pitching in MLB.
        Throw in Harang, who’s face would be described as “lugubrious” even by that clown at the circus with the war paint that depicts him as perpetually crying. Thus the duo is as singular as The Dugong vs The Sad Clown. That said, Grimace vs Count Chocula will do until someone comes up with better.

      • tfbuckfutter - Apr 8, 2014 at 1:54 PM

        Again, looking like Roger the Alien from American Dad is what makes him ugly.

        If being fat is what causes his head to take that shape, then yes, his fatness is what causes his ugliness.

        If his head looks like that because his head looks like that, then he’s just naturally ugly.

        And guess what….calling him ugly because he’s ugly is actually worse than calling him ugly because he’s fat. You can control being fat. You can’t control being ugly.

        But way to take a stand for the portly, white knight.

      • jerze2387 - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:13 PM

        @NYTolstoy first of all, you mean “Udder” nonsense. Because he certainly is a cow. And few could argue hes clearly the mets bell cow now.

        And secondly, thats a valid cause for him being ugly. Just like a big nose or other issue could make somebody, so could being fat. Being fat doesnt mak him immune to being ugly. and dont start with the whole “he cant help it..” crap. He could stay away from the buffet. he wasnt always fat. And theres solutions to it.

      • NYTolstoy - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:36 PM

        Oh I see Cur you called me fat. Good job. Atleast for a Canadian.

      • NYTolstoy - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:39 PM

        @jerze. ..Lmao got to give you credit those are some amazing villian names. I’m a big batman fan and that was beautiful. Just awesome.

      • NYTolstoy - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:41 PM

        I can’t stop laughing at the Baskin Robin bahahaha.

        Holy double crusted cheese Fatman.

    • NYTolstoy - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:08 PM

      @Cur. Roly Poly sounds like a good nickname. I plan to use it now

      @futter. I don’t think he looks at all like the alien from American dad. That’s a horrible comparison. And also I will always defend the portly.

      Because I’m the hero they deserve but not the one they need right now. You can attack but it’s because I can take it. A watchful protecter. A silent guardian. A dark night.

      Yes I just compared myself to Batman do fat people

      • NYTolstoy - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:10 PM

        For fat people. Damn these smart phones. This auto correct drives me crazy

      • cur'68 - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:13 PM

        Fat fingers and smart phones do not go together well…er…I mean “Roly Poly” fingers.

      • jerze2387 - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:15 PM

        so youre “fatman”? the fat signal is a slice of cake projected in the sky?

      • jerze2387 - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:23 PM

        …fighting the likes of “the porker”, “Two-Plates”, “the nibbler”, “mr. tastee-freeze”, “fatwoman”, with his trusty sidekick “baskin-robbin”

      • tfbuckfutter - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:23 PM

        He looks like a fat-faced Roger the Alien.

        Like if Roger went on steroids and started retaining water in his face.


      • tfbuckfutter - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:43 PM

        jerze, you forgot Poison Gravy.

  4. Simon M. - Apr 8, 2014 at 1:48 PM

    Personally I think Colon looks more like Earl Sinclair from Dinosaurs, that sitcom from the mid 90s, but this guy’s got the right idea. Brilliant.

  5. blabidibla - Apr 8, 2014 at 1:52 PM

    Please, Randy Johnson has both of these guys beat combined.

    • jerze2387 - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:17 PM

      But randy johnson had the “fit-in-in-a-trailer-park” look. especially with the mullet. Harang looks creepy anywhere except your doorstep on halloween (if hes wearing a cape).

      • jcmeyer10 - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:22 PM

        I feel like Randy in a denim vest would be a hot commodity in the Park.

  6. larrytsg - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:02 PM

    Just 2 words for history… El Guapo! (or you could just call him what his mother calls him, Rich Garces).

    • tfbuckfutter - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:07 PM

      Rich Garces wasn’t ugly.

      He had a fat baby face.

  7. El Bravo - Apr 8, 2014 at 2:42 PM

    Pretty mean-spririted clown post bro. But, I’ll admit it must be nice for them to be rich.

  8. 18thstreet - Apr 8, 2014 at 3:04 PM

    Clay Buchholz, between shaves, has made himself into an inner-circle all-ugly Hall of Famer.

  9. dillongeeescapeplan - Apr 8, 2014 at 3:14 PM

  10. acdc84 - Apr 9, 2014 at 9:47 AM

    The new season is in full swing but this “author” feels the need to post about two guys’ physical appearances?? So lame.

  11. coryfor3 - Apr 9, 2014 at 11:29 AM

    Oh hilarious!! I totally get it. So creative and full of humor! You find the appearance of these guys unappealing Craig! You’re really covering the sport well now. This is is certainly a tolerant and sensitive endorsement of a tweet with similar sentiment. Since your sense of decency seems to be lacking, let’s test your sense of sarcasm.
    Where most of the world is advancing towards the acceptance of people for who they are rather than degrading, judging and mocking others based on their ethnicity, race, sexuality, etc, apparently you find it appropriate to do exactly those things based on appearance.
    We’re well into the beginning of an interesting baseball season…try finding something related to baseball to write about.

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